


eight witches, bitches

by bluecalicocat



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 2000 line are best friends, 3racha is a thing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chatting & Messaging, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Humor, M/M, Multi, Not to spoil it but, Polyamory, Stray Kids are a family, Texting, Witches, no braincells, text fic, they're all witches, yeah guys there's angst now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 39,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21986695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecalicocat/pseuds/bluecalicocat
Summary: han jisung makes friends with the most chaotic coven in seoul and they have a lot of fun together (?)christiano: hello sungie and welcome to our group chat!jisungie: omg! i know you...jisungie: it's crispy hyung!hyunjinnie: cRiSpY
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 234
Kudos: 1389





	1. seven witches, bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just for reference, here are their screen names:  
> christiano  
> leeknow  
> binsual  
> hyunjinnie  
> lixie  
> seungmo  
> innie

**seven witches, bitches [7]**

**christiano** : greetings  
 **christiano** : i assume everyone here knows about han jisung by now?

 **leeknow** : the boy that you and changbin have been dissing us to hang out with for the past two months?  
**leeknow** : yeah we know him :/

 **binsual** : excuse u, we have not been dissing anyone!

 **seungmo** : that's debatable

 **binsual** : no it's not  
**binsual** : shush

 **seungmo** : don't shush me!

 **christiano** : ...anYWAY  
**christiano** : apparently felix hyunjin and seungmin already know him quite well?

 **lixie** : i mean yeah  
**lixie** : he's a junior, like us

 **seungmo** : felix and hyunjin barely have any classes with him though

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah cause he's a mUsiC mAjoR and im a dAnxE mAJoR

 **leeknow:** danxe

 **hyunjinnie** : tanx hyung for pointing out my flaws

 **leeknow** : tanx

 **hyunjinnie** : i did the tanx on purpose but ok

 **christiano** : guys  
**christiano** : back to the topic

 **binsual** : hyung what even is the topic

 **christiano** : i'm trying to tell you something!  
**christiano** : i'm talking about jisung

 **leeknow** : ooh does chan have a cRusH ?

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : i wish i was home so i could smack your head

 **seungmo** : he had to clarify what part of you he was gonna smack cause he knows there would be jokes made otherwise

 **christiano** : guys, focus!

 **lixie** : it's not our fault we have short attention spans

 **seungmo** : chan hyung, hurry up! you have one minute before we'll have forgotten about you completely

 **christiano** : okay so me and changbin are already good friends with jisung and apparently hyunjin seungmin and felix are too

 **seungmo** : this has already been stated

 **binsual** : SHUSH

 **seungmo** : ohmygosh, the audacity

 **christiano:** BUT i want to hang out with him outside of school but i'm always hanging out with you guys  
**christiano** : which isn't a problem but i thought we could all hang out?  
**christiano** : since 5/7 of us already know him anyway

 **hyunjinnie** : is there a question we're supposed to answer?

 **seungmo** : i think he's asking if you all wanna hang out with jisung sometime

 **christiano** : yes  
**christiano** : thank you seungmin

 **hyunjinnie** : aah okay  
**hyunjinnie** : yeah i think i'd like that

 **lixie** : hahhaha

 **seungmo** : ahahha

 **christiano** : what's funny?

 **lixie** : "i think i would like that"  
**lixie** : lol we know you would

 **seungmo** : mhmm

 **christiano** : uuhm, okay  
**christiano** : so does everyone else wanna hang out? i was thinking this weekend could be good

 **lixie** : yeah sure

 **seungmo** : i'm in  
**seungmo** : jeongin never looks at this chat but i'll make sure he comes too

 **leeknow** : ooh you gonna make him come

 **seungmo** : literally, stop  
**seungmo** : nope  
**seungmo** : not having any of that

 **hyunjinnie** : lmaooo  
**hyunjinnie** : dw minho hyung, i like your jokes!

 **leeknow** : thanks jinnie

 **christiano** : guys?

 **leeknow** : oh right there was a question  
**leeknow** : sure i'll be there

 **binsual** : yes me too

 **christiano** : great! then i'll ask jisung

 **lixie** : i feel bad for him already...


	2. mayhaps i cackled

**seven witches, bitches [7]**

**binsual** : i'm actually shocked

 **lixie** : why? what happened?

 **binsual** : jisung said yes to hanging out with us  
**binsual** : chan hyung asked him, i was there  
**binsual** : heard it with my own two ears

 **leeknow** : he doesn't know what he's getting himself into  
**leeknow** : poor child

 **seungmo** : let me stop you right there

 **innie** : ???

 **lixie** : why? jisung is nice

 **seungmo** : never said he wasn't  
**seungmo** : but he speaks as much meme as felix and has a similar weird chaotic energy as minho hyung  
**seungmo** : if anyone's gonna regret this, it'll be us

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yeah that's accurate lmao

 **leeknow** : is that true?

 **seungmo** : tragically, yes.

 **christiano** : wait a sec  
**christiano** : did jeongin actually show up to a conversation? and before me?

 **seungmo** : not that you've set the bar high...

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah hyung you're usually late

 **christiano** : okay, yeah, but what's more surprising is that jeongin actually showed up

 **lixie** : omg, i just noticed! he sent a bunch of question marks!

 **binsual** : i'm impressed

 **leeknow** : wow  
**leeknow** : i've never been this impressed with anyone but myself since 2007 when i mistook my own reflection for another person  
**leeknow** : so technically i was still impressed with myself but it counts since i thought it was another person

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : i should have left this group chat when i graduated last year :/  
**christiano** : also, weren't we supposed to be talking about jisung and the plan for saturday?

 **seungmo** : us getting sidetracked in a conversation? it's more likely than you think

 **christiano** : well whoops  
**christiano** : but yay! jisung is coming on saturday!

 **hyunjinnie** : noise

 **leeknow** : does he know that we're witches? is he a witch??

 **hyunjinnie** : does he know about us? unclear.  
**hyunjinnie** : is he a witch himself? also unclear.

 **binsual** : wow that's helpful

 **lixie** : hyungs do you know anything about that?

 **christiano** : all i know is that he used to live in a village that's full of witches  
**christiano** : doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it seems likely that he at least knows the supernatural exists

 **binsual** : neat

 **leeknow** : does that mean we can be as weird as we want in front of him?

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : i'm asking for a friend

 **seungmo** : maybe you could try not to scare him away immediately  
**seungmo** : just a suggestion

 **christiano** : a good suggestion that i suggest you listen to, okay?  
**christiano** : be yourselves but don't be weird

 **leeknow** : hoW ???

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung HOW DO WE DO THAT???

 **lixie** : WE CANT' DO BOTH!

 **christiano** : ...should have expected that  
**christiano** : okay just be nice! be weird and nice! that's not impossible, is it?

 **seungmo** : knowing us...

 **christiano** : yeah, you have a point :/

 **binsual** : suggestion

 **christiano** : shoot

 **binsual** : what?  
**binsual** : wtf am i supposed to shoot??

 **christiano** : no no it's just something you say

 **seungmo** : who do you want him to shoot hyung?

 **lixie** : if you wanted us dead you could just say so!

 **christiano** : sigh  
**christiano** : changbin what's you suggestion?

 **binsual** : that we add jisung to this chat  
**binsual** : or make a new one with him in it  
**binsual** : since apparently we're planning to adopt him into this friend group

 **lixie** : i have his number!

 **seungmo** : all of us 2000 liners have it but ok

**lixie** has added **jisungie** to the group

**seungmo** : wAIT THE CHAT NAME!!!  
**seungmo** : oh  
**seungmo** : didn't send that in time

 **leeknow** : too late to fix it now lol

 **jisungie** : uuh,,, hello lix! what's this?

 **christiano** : hello sungie and welcome to our group chat!

 **jisungie** : omg! i know you...  
**jisungie** : it's crispy hyung!

 **hyunjinnie** : cRiSpY

 **leeknow** : chan, you're never gonna live this down

 **lixie** : cRISPY HYUNG

 **seungmo** : mayhaps i cackled at that

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : lord up above please give me patience amen

 **binsual** : hey jisung i'm here too  
**binsual** : not that i think it's a good idea to call attention to myself considering what you just did to chan hyung...

 **jisungie** : omg hyung hey!

 **leeknow** : does changbinnie also have a fun nickname you can share with us?

 **jisungie** : nah not really

 **binsual** : oh thank god

 **jisungie** : the best i have would be dark baby rapper, but i'll admit it's not as good as crispy

 **hyunjinnie** : ...dark BABY rapper

 **leeknow** : ...DARK baby rapper

 **binsual** : if anyone accents the rapper part of that, you're dead

 **lixie** : dark baby RAPPER

 **binsual** : ...  
**binsual** : fine

 **jisungie** : wait you guys have fun names  
**jisungie** : i need a new one

**jisungie** changed their screen name to **sungshine**

**sungshine** : oh wait you guys are witches? is this a coven?

 **christiano** : oh sHIT we didn't fix the chat name  
**christiano** : uuh, yes we are..?

 **sungshine** : cool me too

 **christiano** : i'm so sorry i promise we weren't keeping it from you, we just didn't know if  
**christiano** : wait  
**christiano** : you too???

 **binsual** : ...

 **leeknow** : ...

**lixie** has set the chat name to **eight witches, bitches**

**innie** : you could not have picked a better moment, felix hyung

 **lixie** : thanks, i know :)


	3. dumb dumb

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : HANG ON  
 **hyunjinnie** : jisung, you're a witch??  
 **hyunjinnie** : what kind??

 **sungshine** : uh

 **lixie** : ooh can we guess?

 **sungshine** : yeah sure

 **lixie** : empath!

 **binsual** : lunar witch

 **innie** : earth witch

 **hyunjinnie** : cosmic witch

 **leeknow** : solar witch

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : everyone's just guessing what they are themselves

 **sungshine** : ah i see  
**sungshine** : wait what are you then?

 **seungmo** : me? i'm a telepathic witch

 **sungshine** : cool! what about chan hyung?

 **seungmo** : a shapeshifter

 **sungshine** : omg that's cool!

 **hyunjinnie** : jisungieee  
**hyunjinnie** : you never said if any of us guessed it right!

 **seungmo** : no offense but you weren't really guessing  
**seungmo:** you were just saying what you are yourselves

 **sungshine** : yeah  
**sungshine** : and no one even got it right :(

 **binsual** : wait really

 **leeknow** : have we somehow managed to form a group of eight witches, and none of us are the same type of witch?

 **hyunjinnie** : wicked

 **seungmo** : more like statistically improbable

 **sungshine** : well it's true, i'm not any of the things you guessed  
**sungshine** : and i'm not a shapeshifter or a telepathic witch either

 **hyunjinnie** : is there even anything left

 **lixie** : sure! there are still lots of things he could be  
**lixie** : an ocean witch...  
**lixie** : wait i can't come up with anything else gimme a second to think

 **binsual** : a crystal witch, weather witch, fire witch, faerie witch, traditional/hereditary witch...

 **lixie** : thank you binnie hyung!  
**lixie** : see, there are lots of things he could be

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yeah i guess that's true

 **leeknow** : was any of changbin's guesses right?

 **sungshine** : lol no

 **seungmo** : WHAT???  
**seungmo** : sorry that was harsh  
**seungmo** : i meant What?

 **sungshine** : i have no idea how no one has guessed it yet  
**sungshine** : i mean, it's not something uncommon

 **leeknow** : AN ORACLE

 **sungshine** : y e s! finally!  
**sungshine** : you're right, i'm an oracle :D

 **leeknow** : guys, how could we miss oracles...

 **hyunjinnie** : aahh omg

 **lixie** : we're dumb dumb

 **seungmo** : well... that's not anything new

 **sungshine** : wait  
**sungshine** : i know most of you guys but not everyone  
**sungshine** : probably should have been my first concern now that i think about it...

 **lixie** : ahahha yeah  
**lixie** : you know everyone except minho hyung and jeongin

 **sungshine** : minho hyung is a solar witch and jeongin is an earth witch

 **hyunjinnie** : hOW DID U KNOW

 **sungshine** : lol seungmin said it earlier  
**sungshine** : but who are you guys?  
**sungshine** : right now you're just names on a screen

 **hyunjinnie** : as you may know, crispy hyung is our dad

 **sungshine** : didn't know that but i'm not surprised

 **binsual** : if chan hyung was here he would disagree about being our dad

 **hyunjinnie** : wait where is he?

 **seungmo** : sleeping  
**seungmo** : as he should be

 **hyunjinnie** : anyway  
**hyunjinnie** : what i was getting at is the fact that he's kinda like the coven leader and also acts kinda like a father to all of us

 **leeknow** : he's a pretty chill parent who lets you stay up late and doesn't lecture you when you go out and get yourself arrested by doing magic in public

 **binsual** : ...

 **leeknow** : not that i would know :)  
**leeknow** : anyway, he's basically our dad, but you probably already knew that since he adopted you

 **binsual** : the first time he talked to jisungie, it only took five minutes for him to become smitten

 **hyunjinnie** : That's Love Bitch!

 **binsual** : well chan hyung has already adopted him so i guess it makes sense for the new adoption (aka jisung) to be introduced to the gc

 **seungmo** : wait, when did crispy hyung adopt jisung?

 **sungshine** : bold of you to assume crispy hyung doesn't adopt every stray child he sees the first time he lays eyes on them

 **seungmo** : yeah ok, that's fair ig

 **hyunjinnie** : so wait does that mean you've been adopted for the past two months?  
**hyunjinnie** : and we didn't even know?

 **sungshine** : oh yeah seems like it

 **lixie** : omg this is some Secret Sibling shit

 **sungshine** : gASP  
**sungshine** : felix that makes us twins!

 **lixie** : omg yes!

 **binsual** : by what logic could that possibly make you guys twins?

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : okay maybe minho hyung and jeongin should introduce themselves now?

 **leeknow** : yes hello i'm minho, a dance major, could strangle you with my toes but only if you hurt any of my cats

 **sungshine** : omg i love cats! <3  
**sungshine** : do you have pics of them?

 **hyunjinnie** : ...why are you a literal angel

 **seungmo** : he threatened his life but all jisung payed attention to was the mention of cats

 **leeknow** : as he should  
**leeknow** : but to answer your question, yes, i have so many pics!

 **binsual** : please take it in private chat  
**binsual** : we do not need to crash the gc again

 **lixie** : binnie hyung, you know it was an ACCIDENT

 **binsual** : yeah well, it still happened  
**binsual** : now jeongin, introduce yourself

 **seungmo** : bold of you to assume he doesn't have this chat muted

 **sungshine** : oh  
**sungshine** : i guess i'll just leave this for him to see whenever he gets to his phone  
**sungshine** : hi jeongin! i don't know anything about you except you're an earth witch but i'd love to learn more and get to know you!  
**sungshine** : apparently you're the maknae (?) cause no one calls you hyung?  
**sungshine** : anyway have a LOVELY DAY <3

 **lixie** : aww that's sweet

 **innie** : ...i can't NOT respond to that  
**innie** : hyung (?) that was very nice of you  
**innie** : are you my hyung?

 **sungshine** : is felix your hyung? cause in that case i am too

 **leeknow** : jisung's a junior according to crispy hyung

 **sungshine** : yup!

 **lixie** : and his birthday is one day before mine!

 **seungmo** : oh god don't remind me i've already heard it enough times

 **sungshine** : wait  
**sungshine** : speaking of crispy hyung  
**sungshine** : where is he?

 **binsual** : adding you to the gc scared him so much that he accidentally shapeshifted into a toothbrush

 **seungmo** : no, he actually passed out

 **sungshine** : oh? :o

 **seungmo** : just cause he's tired, don't worry, it's not anything too dramatic

 **hyunjinnie** : wait can crispy hyung shapeshift into a toothbrush?

 **leeknow** : no  
**leeknow** : he can't shapeshift into inanimate objects, only animals and people

 **hyunjinnie** : has he tried?

 **leeknow** : too many times  
**leeknow** : please don't remind me

 **lixie** : lmao

 **sungshine** : wait  
**sungshine** : did you add me here for a reason

 **binsual** : well, since you're chan hyung's latest stray kid...

 **hyunjinnie** : we're adopting you into our friend group and you have no say in it! :)

 **sungshine** : ah okay ^-^

 **leeknow** : and you're already the most influential person here

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung what does that even m e a n ???

 **leeknow** : just that as soon as jisung got here, two impossible things happened  
**leeknow** : crispy hyung fell asleep, and jeongin actually sent something in the gc

 **lixie** : oh sHIT u rite!

 **hyunjinnie** : wOw, the power jisung holds

 **sungshine** : uhm no offense but i don't really get why that's so impossible  
**sungshine** : or i mean i get that jeongin apparently never shows up, but not the thing about crispy hyung

 **leeknow** : it's kind of a running joke that he never sleeps

 **binsual** : the fact that he literally never sleeps contributes to the humor of the joke

 **sungshine** : but i've seen him sleep a bunch of times?

 **leeknow** : wHAT

 **sungshine** : yeah  
**sungshine** : when we're producing music late at night i get sleepy, so i ask him to cuddle and he always says yes and then he falls asleep with me

 **hyunjinnie** : ohmygosh  
**hyunjinnie** : i was joking but it seems you really have a lot of power

 **leeknow** : consider the adoption finalized :)

 **sungshine** : omg  
**sungshine** : i have to go but it was really fun to talk to you guys!

 **leeknow** : well you're in the gc now so you can talk to us anytime

 **seungmo** : otherwise we'll see you in school tomorrow

 **sungshine** : okay bye everyone!

 **hyunjinnie** : why is he so adorable

 **lixie** : mHm

 **seungmo** : sigh


	4. we in a hurry

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** : it's another beautiful day to be rogelio

 **hyunjinnie** : to be rogelio

 **leeknow** : to be rogelio!

 **seungmo** : what is this  
**seungmo** : it's too early for me to deal with your cult behavior

 **lixie** : watch jane the virgin you uncultured prick

 **seungmo** : i won't do that but okay

 **lixie** : :(

 **christiano** : children, no, don't

 **hyunjinnie** : don't what?

 **christiano** : just don't

 **seungmo** : yeah that's fair

 **binsual** : whoever is blasting twice at this ungodly hour deserves death

 **lixie** : :o

 **leeknow** : it's felix

 **binsual** : ...-death from hugs!

 **lixie** : :D

 **sungshine** : wait do you guys live together

 **hyunjinnie** : oh hey sung!

 **seungmo** : yes we do live together  
**seungmo** : regretfully

 **binsual** : okay it's not actually that bad

 **seungmo** : between changbin hyung screeching in the middle of the night, minho hyung losing his cats, and hyunjin burning down the kitchen, i'd say it is

 **hyunjinnie** : that was oNE TIME!!!

 **leeknow** : i haven't lost any of my cats in like four days now

 **changbin** : excuse u! i don't screech

 **sungshine** : lmaooo

 **christiano** : look at the mess you've gotten yourself into jisung, this is gonna be so chaotic  
**christiano** : but it's too late to leave so you're stuck with us now

 **sungshine** : great!

 **seungmo** : was that sarcastic

 **sungshine** : no it actually wasn't, this seems fun

 **seungmo** : ahahahh  
**seungmo:** "fun"  
**seungmo** : ah you young soul, you'll learn soon enough

 **sungshine** : i'm literally eight days older than you

 **seungmo** : age is a concept

 **leeknow** : yeah yeah we know, age is a concept and time is fake  
**leeknow** : but you're still gonna be late for school if you don't leave now

 **seungmo** : oh crap.

 **hyunjinnie** : OH NO ME TOO

 **lixie** : SHIT THE DANCE LECTURE

 **christiano** : there they go

 **hyunjinnie** : SORRY GOTTA BLAST

 **leeknow** : yeah we know, put your phone away stupid

 **binsual** : ...which one of them just fell down the stairs

 **christiano** : i'm willing to bet money on hyunjin

 **leeknow** : same

 **binsual** : it's not a bet if everyone bets on the same person

 **hyunjinnie** : IT WAS ME WHO FELL

 **christiano** : called it  
**christiano** : oh  
**christiano** : i can see them from my window, two of them are naruto running across the street

 **sungshine** : that's felix and hyunjin  
**sungshine** : someone tell them to stop running when they reach the gates!

 **binsual** : why

 **hyunjinnie** : BUT WE IN A HURRY

 **sungshine** : stop running!!!  
**sungshine** : just trust me please it's relly important!!!

 **leeknow** : hyunjin listen to him

 **hyunjinnie** : ...okay we stopped  
**hyunjinnie** : OH HOLY SHIT THAT WAS CLOSE  
**hyunjinnie** : THANK YOU JISUNG

 **christiano** : wait, what happened?

 **sungshine** : there was a car coming and the driver was texting so he didn't see them when they were running

 **binsual** : wait are you there with them rn?

 **sungshine** : no i'm still at home

 **christiano** : then how did you know?

 **leeknow** : he's an oracle, remember?  
**leeknow** : said so yesterday

 **christiano** : ooh, that's right!

 **hyunjinnie** : he saved our lives is what he did  
**hyunjinnie** : thank you !!

 **sungshine** : ah, no problem

 **binsual** : these kids, istg

 **christiano** : you shouldn't have been running across the street in the first place.

 **hyunjinnie** : ok boomer

 **christiano** : ...excuse me

 **leeknow** : *ok boomer HYUNG

 **christiano** : not what i meant  
**christiano** : just go to class or wherever  
**christiano** : anywhere that's not here

 **sungshine** : i'm going to the studio to kidnap crispy hyung!

 **leeknow** : ooh good idea

 **christiano** : nO jisung! i'm working!

 **sungshine** : yeah yeah i'll see you soon hyung :D

 **binsual** : oof  
**binsual** : what a riveting conversation this has been

 **leeknow** : changbin you left a kettle on the stove and it's boiling over

 **binsual** : oH SHIT

 **leeknow** : great now changbin is gone too  
**leeknow** : does this mean everyone has left

 **innie** : i'm here hyung

 **leeknow** : innie!

 **innie** : hyung i don't have class for another hour  
**innie** : will you please buy me ice cream

 **leeknow** : my wallet says no but my heart says yes  
**leeknow** : cmon, let's go!

 **innie** : yesss!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a message from me to you (this applies to most things): children, no, don't


	5. escalators are wonderful

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : i love escalators with my whole heart

 **christiano** : when i saw someone typing in this chat, idk why but i suddenly had expectations  
**christiano** : and they were not reached

 **leeknow** : that's great jinnie

 **binsual** : why though

 **lixie** : why not? escalators are great!

 **sungshine** : i agree!

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : seungmin

 **seungmo** : yeah escalators are wonderful

 **christiano** : when the four of them all say the same weird thing, it's time to be suspicious

 **binsual** : wait where are they rn

 **hyunjinnie** : escalators are human's greatest pride, change my mind

 **sungshine** : they can't change our minds because those are FACTS

 **christiano** : guys where are you?

 **lixie** : we're visiting humans greatest pride

 **christiano** : okay there's an escalator there, but w h e r e are you?  
**christiano** : seungmin??

 **seungmo** : we're at the mall

 **sungshine** : don't worry, none of us got arrested!

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : you guys were arrEsteD?¿?

 **hyunjinnie** : no dumb dumb  
**hyunjinnie** : he just said we weren't

 **binsual** : ...what am i witnessing

 **innie** : this is exactly why i never open this gc

 **leeknow** : liar  
**leeknow** : you opened it this morning

 **innie** : ...i think i'll just leave again

 **christiano** : but did you get arrested or not?

 **lixie** : we just said we didn't!  
**lixie** : it was a close call but we were faster than the security guards!

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : well that wasn't comforting in the slightest

 **leeknow** : in what way does this relate to your love for escalators?

 **binsual** : do we even wanna know

 **lixie** : has anyone here seen the video of dan the meme man?  
**lixie** : it's very inspiring

 **christiano** : ...yeah i have

 **leeknow** : welp, i'm starting to see what has happened now

 **hyunjinnie** : so we bought a sled and went down an escalator on it  
**hyunjinnie** : then some security guards saw us and started asking why two people were trying to go down the escalators on a sled for kids

 **seungmo** : and guess what they said

 **lixie** : "we weren't trying to do anything, sir, we were succeeding"

 **seungmo** : iconic

 **hyunjinnie** : then we freaked out because he said two people  
**hyunjinnie** : which is how we realized that jisung had fallen off

 **sungshine** : fun times lmao

 **seungmo** : it was ten minutes ago

 **sungshine** : fun times :)

 **christiano** : but how did this lead to you being chased by security?  
**christiano** : also jisungie aRE YOU OKAY??

 **sungshine** : yeah i'm fine, the bruise doesn't even hurt! ^.^

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung don't worry i'll heal it when we find sungie again!

 **christiano** : what do you mean "find sungie again"  
**christiano** : aren't you with him????

 **sungshine** : thanks hyunjinnie i would really appreciate your help!

 **seungmo** : well chan hyung, you see...,  
**seungmo** : felix and hyunjin were chased by security guards  
**seungmo** : jisung and i weren't

 **leeknow** : oh wow you really just left them to their destiny

 **sungshine** : nah, don't worry  
**sungshine** : the security guards won't find them if we just leave the mall within fifteen minutes

 **binsual** : did your oracle powers tell you that?

 **sungshine** : yeah they did actually

 **lixie** : okay we're coming to you then!

 **sungshine** : great! we're still by the escalators

 **christiano** : sometimes i think my friendship with you guys is a gift  
**christiano** : other times i think of it as a test of my patience and stress management

 **binsual** : lmao

 **sungshine** : i think they're both accurate tbh

 **christiano** : that's probably true

 **sungshine** : ok we should probably go meet hyunjinnie and lix  
**sungshine** : wait minho hyung please send me more pics of your cats!

 **binsual** : ...did he really send you cat pics yesterday??

 **sungshine** : yes he did and i appreciate it very much!

 **leeknow** : i will happily send you more pictures  
**leeknow** : finally, someone who doesn't block me when i spam him with cat pics

 **christiano** : great  
**christiano** : seungmin, text me once you're sure that no one's getting arrested

 **seungmo** : will do

 **christiano** : and kids, please try not to get into any more trouble today, yeah?

 **hyunjinnie** : hmm

 **lixie** : i mean we can TRY

 **sungshine** : no promises but sure!

 **christiano** : ...thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i did mention that 2000 line already knew each other before the gc, soo... the chaos is getting started
> 
> also i will post the next chapter on wednesday :p


	6. b e d s

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** : do you think anyone is sexually attracted to beds?

 **binsual** : it's 2 am go to sLEEP

 **lixie** : yeah,  
**lixie** : in my B E D

 **leeknow** : i don't care if you get an erection, just go lay down in your bed and be quiet

 **binsual** : personally i do care if you're attracted to beds but hyung is right  
**binsual** : go lay down and sleep

 **lixie** : okayyyyy fine

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**christiano** : what goes on at 2 am ?¿?

 **lixie** : go to sleep hyung

 **christiano** : it's 9 in the morning, why would i be asleep

 **seungmo** : yeah but it's also saturday  
**seungmo** : why wouldn't you be asleep

 **christiano** : cause SOMEONE turned all the furniture in my bedroom sideways

 **seungmo** : wait what

 **christiano** : my bed suddenly flipped over with me still in it, that's how i woke up today

 **lixie** : ¿how?

 **christiano** : Ask Changbin. :)

 **seungmo** : why does that smiley feel so passive aggressive

 **binsual** : hyung i'm sorry it was an accident!

 **lixie** : i thought you banned him from doing magic in your room?

 **christiano** : the alternative was the balcony and i don't want any of our neighbors to see  
**christiano** : so no, the ban didn't work

 **lixie** : but changbin hyung is a lunar witch  
**lixie** : why is he doing magic in the morning?

 **christiano** : i don't KNOW ..!

 **binsual** : is testing my limits an acceptable answer to that?

 **christiano** : there is no acceptable answer to that  
**christiano** : don't do magic early in the morning  
**christiano** : and don't do it in our shared bedroom when i am asleep pLEASE

 **sungshine** : HELLO! IT IS SATURDAY MY DUDES!

 **leeknow** : i have never met you before in mY LiFE

 **sungshine** : ...it is saturday my dudes

 **hyunjinnie** : that's wrong and you know it

 **sungshine** : :(  
**sungshine** : all i wanted was love  
**sungshine** : but all i'm getting is hate

 **christiano** : hi sung!

 **sungshine** : HELLO CHAN HYUNG :D

 **binsual** : hey jisung

 **sungshine** : HELLO CHANGBIN HYUNG :D  
**sungshine** : finally some people that are nice to me  
**sungshine** : hyunjin is officially not my friend anymore

 **lixie** : i don't even understand what happened but i am entertained

 **seungmo** : lol same

 **christiano** : what about minho, is he your friend?

 **sungshine** : like he said  
**sungshine** : i have never met him before in mY LiFE  
**sungshine** : so i can't call him my friend

 **leeknow** : (please imagine a very fake dramatic gasp)

 **sungshine** : but he sends me cat pics so he's okay i guess

 **hyunjinnie** : gASP  
**hyunjinnie** : how can i compete with that???

 **lixie** : seems you've lost a friend

 **innie** : normally i wouldn't risk my reputation by interacting with you guys, but why is everyone here awake?

 **christiano** : innie!

 **leeknow** : innie!

 **hyunjinnie** : babie!

 **innie** : ...nvm

 **sungshine** : hello jeongin!

 **innie** : hi jisung hyung

 **hyunjinnie** : gASP  
**hyunjinnie** : the favoritism!

 **innie** : to quote an old philosopher: i have never met him before in mY LiFE  
**innie** : but jisung hyung might be the only person here who deserves rights

 **leeknow** : excuse you, i am not old

 **innie** : your senior citizenship would like to disagree

 **christiano** : oH

 **leeknow** : ...  
**leeknow** : maknae

 **innie** : yes?

 **leeknow** : i hope you have your funeral arrangements prepared

 **innie** : ...

 **sungshine** : he was a tragedy

 **binsual** : wtf

 **lixie** : yeah he really was

 **hyunjinnie** : the biggest tragedy there ever was

 **christiano** : ok i have no idea what's going on anymore  
**christiano** : but guys, it's saturday!  
**christiano** : you know what that means!

 **lixie** : all i heard in my head was "i don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

 **binsual** : again, wtf

 **lixie** : you can't quote a vine word by word and expect me NOT to finish it in my head!  
**lixie** : it doesn't work like that

 **christiano** : ...what i was getting at is the fact that we're meeting up today

 **seungmo** : oh right that's today  
**seungmo** : is it too late for me to back out?

 **christiano** : YES IT IS

 **seungmo** : well it was worth a try

 **sungshine** : not to be that person but we never decided on anything  
**sungshine** : you know, time and place  
**sungshine** : kind of necessary information..?

 **binsual** : the kid has a point

 **sungshine** : ...i am NOT. a kid  
**sungshine** : i will allow exactly one person here to call me kid and that's crispy hyung

 **christiano** : ohmygosh i thought we were past that nickname...

 **hyunjinnie** : never lmao

 **christiano** : okay anyway, back to the P L A N S  
**christiano** : no more sidetracks please

 **sungshine** : how about 3 pm at the mirror cafe?

 **lixie** : oh wow, sung is good at making plans  
**lixie** : usually we have to come up with 50 different suggestions before anyone can agree on anything

 **binsual** : his suggestion sounds good let's do that

 **christiano** : okay, fantastic!  
**christiano** : what about the ones that aren't here?  
**christiano** : aka minho & jeongin

 **seungmo** : i'll let innie know the plans, and hyunjin can tell minho hyung

 **hyunjinnie** : hey! why would you sacrifice me like that

 **seungmo** : hahahha

 **hyunjinnie** : ????

 **seungmo** : oh  
**seungmo** : you were actually asking

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah? why do you think he won't kill me?  
**hyunjinnie** : i'm tOO yOUng To DiE !!!

 **seungmo** : oh trust me he won't :)

 **christiano** : great talk guys but we're done here now so go clean up the mess in the kitchen

 **seungmo** : it was hyunjin

 **hyunjinnie** : it was felix

 **lixie** : it was seungmin

 **christiano** : i don't really care just clean it up

 **seungmo** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **lixie** : ...

 **sungshine** : lmao it was all three of them

 **lixie** : jISUNG!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my sister used to say she doesn't like stray kids (btw she's 9) but i've been taking her through stray kids' songs and found a few that she likes and that she now asks to listen to…
> 
> i've heard 'question' (her favorite) and 'get cool' waaaay too many times the past days but because it's stray kids, it's ok :)


	7. the mirror cafe

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** : it is currently 2:49 pm and i am RUSHING

 **seungmo** : actually it just turned 2:50

 **binsual** : why are you rushing?  
**binsual** : please don't hurt yourself

 **lixie** : oh no i'm not hyunjin, i can actually walk fast without stumbling

 **hyunjinnie** : ofFENDED

 **leeknow** : why? it's true

 **lixie** : i'm rushing because i don't wanna be LATE  
**lixie** : also it's CHAN HYUNG's fault that i'm running late in the first place

 **christiano** : hOW

 **lixie** : you put me to sleep!  
**lixie** : if you had gotten a decent amount of sleep last night, you wouldn't be so tired!

 **christiano** : what does me being tired have to do with you falling asleep..?

 **lixie** : cause i'm an EMPATH  
**lixie** : and i think i accidentally got some of your tiredness when i hugged you earlier

 **hyunjinnie** : oof

 **christiano** : lix i'm sorry! it's okay if you're a little late, we'll wait!

 **lixie** : smh, how dare you keep me away from my soulmate like this :(

 **leeknow** : hol the fuck up

 **christiano** : language!

 **leeknow** : KOREAN

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : since when does felix have a soulmate??? who is this mysterious person???

 **sungshine** : it me :p  
**sungshine** : LIX IT'S OKAY I'LL WAIT FOR YOU! <33

 **lixie** : THANK YOU <333

 **binsual** : ...what is this

 **seungmo** : oh right you guys haven't seen what they're like together  
**seungmo** : well imagine me, hyunjin and felix together

 **christiano** : that's pure chaos

 **binsual** : chaos everywhere

 **seungmo** : and then take that times ten :)  
**seungmo** : that's what happens when you add jisung to our group

 **christiano:** ...  
**christiano** : i'm starting to reconsider my life decisions

 **hyunjinnie** : don't be dramatic, it's not that bad

 **seungmo** : you have no right to talk

 **hyunjinnie** : ouch :(

 **sungshine** : well i'm looking forward to meeting everyone in like five minutes :)  
**sungshine** : this is gonna be so fun!

 **seungmo** : yeah..., "fun"

-

contrary to popular belief, jisung isn't particularly nervous about meeting the group of friends that he's apparently in the process of being adopted into. not too nervous, at least. he's already good friends with the other juniors, and he's used to spending (way too many) consecutive hours in the company of chan and changbin when they work on music together in the cramped studio space.

however, there are two people that he hasn't officially met yet, even though they've talked in the group chat several times. considering all the weird shit that happens in that chat, he's not really worried about what meeting them in real life will be like, but some nerves are definitely present as he shifts his weight between his feet where he's standing inside the small cafe.

chan and changbin are already seated by a table near the window, while jisung is waiting for the barista to finish making his order so he can join them. the rest of their friends should be here in just a few minutes. since 3racha had been at the studio with each other right before this, they had walked here together, and now they simply have to wait for the rest of the group to come.

the barista calls his name, making jisung snap out of his thoughts as he turns around. he tells her a quick "thank you" while grabbing his drink, before making his way over to the table where his hyungs are sitting. they're both on their phones, but changbin looks up when jisung puts down his drink and sits opposite him.

"are you nervous?" changbin asks. there's a tiny smile on his face, as if he's prepared to tease jisung about it. knowing changbin, he's not surprised.

he only get to shake his head before a movement outside the window catches his eye, and jisung looks away from changbin's face to instead see hyunjin waving at him from the other side of the window. not a normal wave, but a huge and exaggerated motion that makes others on the street turn their heads.

jisung laughs.

"oh no, it's _them_." chan turns his head at the sound of changbin's joking tone, and the eldest notices what's going on just as their other friends reach the cafe entrance and open the door.

changbin pretends to be disgusted by their presence for about two seconds longer, until felix runs up to the trio by the table and practically throws himself at the "annoyed" boy, making the rest of them laugh as changbin's fake disgust melts away completely. jisung is laughing, too, but in reality he's paying no attention to the couple hugging. his mind is too full of the other boys that just entered.

he thinks he recognizes jeongin from how his fellow 00-liners have described the maknae, and after just a quick glance at the boy's face, jisung determines that he definitely looks like a maknae.

obviously he already knows what seungmin and hyunjin look like, so that only leaves the last boy. he has to be minho.

jisung has a lot of experience with silently and "unnoticeably" (in his own opinion) panicking over cute boys, thanks to a certain cute boy who shall remain nameless, but he thought his panicking would be restricted to that one person. turns out it's not.

and of course hyunjin has to be the one to introduce them. as soon as he notices jisung looking at the face he doesn't recognize, the slightly older jumps forward and excitedly tells him that the boy is named minho, before gesturing to jisung and telling minho his name.

"i know, hyunjin", minho says with the hint of a smile in his voice. "he's the only one here i haven't met before."

hyunjin pouts as minho points that out, but the expression is quickly wiped from his face when chan tells them to go order so that they can take a seat by the table.

after convincing minho to order for him, hyunjin practically skips over and takes a seat next to jisung, giving the younger a blinding smile before doing so. and honestly, jisung's not so sure how he's gonna deal with panicking over two cute boys at the same time, but figures that he'll be fine if he just doesn't think about it too much.

-

**christiano - > seungmo [private chat]**

**christiano** : do jisung and minho know that they're staring at each other?

 **seungmo** : tbh i'm not sure  
**seungmo** : i think jisung is having a gay panic

 **christiano** : oh?

 **seungmo** : given how he panics almost daily, i wouldn't sound so surprised

 **christiano** : how can you tell that i'm surprised? this is a text conversation

 **seungmo** : dude i can see your face from where i'm sitting

 **christiano** : don't "dude" me!  
**christiano** : i'm your hyung

 **seungmo** : okay dude hyung

 **christiano** : ...sigh

 **seungmo** : but also, what is this hyunminsung drama i'm witnessing rn?

 **christiano** : waaait  
**christiano** : is that why you & felix were laughing at hyunjin earlier?  
**christiano** : does hyunjin /like/ jisung??

 **seungmo** : dude...

 **christiano** : sTOP IT

 **seungmo** : can't you tell how he hasn't stopped looking at jisung since we stepped into the cafe?

 **christiano** : oh wow  
**christiano** : but for how long have they even known each other? he's only been going to our college for two months

 **seungmo** : funny you should ask  
**seungmo** : this is actually jisung's second year at this school

 **christiano** : wait what, how did i never see him here last year?

 **seungmo** : last year he was studying abroad  
**seungmo** : but the year before that, when the four of us were freshmen, he went to our school

 **christiano** : if you've been friends for so long, why did we never know about him before this year?

 **seungmo** : well we weren't friends our first year  
**seungmo** : you can thank hyunjin & jisung for that

 **christiano** : w h a t

 **seungmo** : they were practically enemies for our entire freshman year  
**seungmo** : then jisung moved to malaysia for sophomore year, and when he came back this year, he and hyunjin made up

 **christiano** : oh, wow

 **seungmo** : that's when we actually became friends with him

 **christiano:** wait why were they enemies in the first place?

 **seungmo** : honestly i have no idea, but since felix & i were already friends with hyunjin, we didn't really talk to jisung  
**seungmo** : the only time we heard about him was when hyunjin would complain to us

 **christiano** : well that seems to be forgotten now  
**christiano** : if the heart eyes they're giving each other is any indication

 **seungmo** : yup

 **christiano** : i'm not sure if i should be worried about this hyunminsung love triangle or not...

 **seungmo** : it's not a love triangle if they all like each other

 **christiano** : i guess you have a point

 **seungmo** : of course i do  
**seungmo** : woojin hyung entrusted me with the braincells when he left for america

 **christiano** : oOPS jeongin is glaring at me

 **seungmo** : probably wants you to put your phone away

-

it's not completely easy to keep up with the conversations. there's about fifty million different ones going on simultaneously, and everyone seems to be participating in every single one of those conversations at the same time.

that's why chan isn't sure how it starts. one minute, he's trying to listen and participate in the fifty million conversations, but then someone starts singing, and suddenly it's a whole performance that has the other people in the cafe turning their heads. to be honest, chan would probably be impressed if it wasn't so random.

their rendition of bohemian rhapsody is a complete mess, but at the same time it sounds kind of good. they're banging on the table to make a beat. the performance is complete with theatrical expression and dramatic changes of tone as they sing their hearts out, and chan can't help but laugh a little at how ridiculous they look. at some point, hyunjin starts waving his arms to the music while swaying side to side, and the rest of the boys are quick to join in. even chan does.

they don't sing the entire song, even though they do try to sing the instrumental solo. hyunjin is playing air guitar while jisung and felix both try to sing the guitar solo, sounding like a complete mess considering neither of them know the right notes, and that's when chan feels a tap on his shoulder, making him turn around to see who it is.

"excuse me", one of the baristas says, giving him an apologetic look. "i'm sorry, but my boss wants me to ask you to leave."

honestly, the only surprising thing about that is how long it took for someone to say something. they're being quite loud right now, so it's not like they can argue with her.

"i'm so sorry", chan says with a slight bow of his head. "we'll leave now." he then turns to face the others around the table to try and catch their attention. the only one who notices is jeongin, so chan decides to tell the maknae first. "hey, we have to leave."

"ooh, are we getting kicked out?" hyunjin's voice comes from the other side of the table, having overheard what he said, and chan nods at him. hyunjin seems oddly excited about that as he turns to the ones closest to him and yells out, "hey! we're getting kicked out! grab your stuff and run before they catch you!"

chan rolls his eyes as pretty much everyone else in their group hurriedly stands and grabs whatever they need, before rushing toward the door while the coven's leader follows at a much calmer pace. despite that, there's a small smile on his face the entire time.

trust them to get kicked out the first time they all get together.

well... this is going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter features a group chat called "excuse me sir that's my emotional support fren" and a bit of angst because i thrive off of that :)


	8. cursed

**excuse me sir that's my emotional support fren [2]**

**sungshine** : how to flirt in gay

 **lixie** : you?? flirt???  
**lixie** : i don't believe it

 **sungshine** : ahhh i'm so conflicted right now  
**sungshine** : how to make good life decisions??

 **lixie** : sung i'm not google

 **sungshine** : oh you're right  
**sungshine** : isn't seungmin the one with braincells?

 **lixie** : uuh yeah, i guess so

 **sungshine** : okay great!

 **lixie** : but what does that have to do with flirting and making good life decisions??

 **sungshine** : not sure  
**sungshine** : guess i'll find out! :)

**sungshine - > seungmo [private chat]**

**sungshine** : hello seungmin!

 **seungmo** : hi jisung!  
**seungmo** : you're lucky, i actually have time to chat right now  
**seungmo** : what's up?

 **sungshine** : yeah so you see i need advice and i heard you're the smart one

 **seungmo** : oh yeah that's right

 **sungshine** : i really hope i'm not bothering you with this

 **seungmo:** oh no, you're not!  
**seungmo** : not that i really now what this is, exactly, but it's fine

 **sungshine** : and i actually have something super serious to tell you  
**sungshine** : something the others can't know about

 **seungmo** : oh?

 **sungshine** : can i trust you?

 **seungmo** : you're kind of making me worried over here

 **sungshine** : i mean, i'm not gonna lie and say that you shouldn't be worried  
**sungshine** : if someone told me what i'm about to tell you, i would be worried too  
**sungshine** : but it doesn't affect anyone except myself so at least that's not a problem

 **seungmo** : okay  
**seungmo** : yeah, if you're willing to share it with me then i promise i will not tell any of the others

 **sungshine** : thank you seungmin

 **seungmo** : no problem

 **sungshine** : so you know how i lived in malaysia for my entire sophomore year?

 **seungmo** : yes

 **sungshine** : the village i lived in had a lot of witches

 **seungmo** : yeah i think chan hyung mentioned that

 **sungshine** : oh okay!  
**sungshine** : but a lot of the people that traveled through the village were also witches  
**sungshine** : abt nine months ago, i kind of got into an argument with one of the travelers  
**sungshine** : i honestly don't even remember what it was about

 **seungmo** : is this gonna have horrible consequences?

 **sungshine** : uh yeah, you could say that  
**sungshine** : she wasn't a very experienced witch, so when she got mad at me, she kind of cursed me...?

 **seungmo** : kind of cursed you? what does that mean?

 **sungshine** : i'm cursed  
**sungshine** : i mean, she put a curse on me without really knowing

 **seungmo** : oh  
**seungmo** : OH

 **sungshine** : yeah...

 **seungmo** : i'm kinda scared to ask, but what type of curse? what did it do to you?

 **sungshine** : at the time, nothing  
**sungshine** : but my grandma is more experienced with magic, and as soon as i got home, she could tell i had something dark over me  
**sungshine** : so she gave me a reading and then told me what the curse had done

 **seungmo** : which was?

 **sungshine** : the curse reduced my life span and gave me one year left to live

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : wait, that was nine months ago

 **sungshine** : yeah

 **seungmo** : wait… are you saying you're gonna be dead in three months?

 **sungshine** : that's exactly what i'm saying

 **seungmo** : holy shit...  
**seungmo** : i don't even know what to say to that  
**seungmo** : i'm so sorry jisungie

 **sungshine** : it's okay, i've already come to terms with what's gonna happen  
**sungshine** : the problem is that other people haven't

 **seungmo** : are you worried about my coven and how they're gonna react?

 **sungshine** : i don't want to tell them

 **seungmo** : sungie, you have to

 **sungshine** : i don't want to spend my last months alive with everyone constantly worrying about me  
**sungshine** : when i die, they're gonna be just as sad whether they knew about the curse or not, and i'd rather let them be happy and carefree for the months leading up to it  
**sungshine** : they'll be depressed enough afterwards regardless

 **seungmo** : i guess you have a point..  
**seungmo** : i don't agree with you, but it's your secret and your decision to make

 **sungshine** : thank you for respecting that

 **seungmo** : thank you for trusting me with this  
**seungmo** : but since you don't seem to want my advice about the curse, i'm wondering what it is you want advice about?

 **sungshine** : OH!  
**sungshine** : so since my life is on countdown right now, i'm wondering if it's wrong for me to make new friends

 **seungmo** : no it's not!

 **sungshine** : but i mean, is it fair for me to get to know them for such a short time when i know i'll be leaving them in the end?  
**sungshine** : i have the choice to hurt them or not  
**sungshine** : and i don't want to hurt them

 **seungmo** : jisung  
**seungmo** : first of all, you're already friends with five of us  
**seungmo** : but getting to know all of us more, forming a bond with the group, that is not you hurting us  
**seungmo** : in the end, the circumstances will hurt all of us a lot, i won't lie about that, but it's not you that's hurting any of us

 **sungshine** : oh

 **seungmo** : you have the choice to be happy or not  
**seungmo** : you shouldn't live the rest of your life alone just because you don't want to cause others pain

 **sungshine** : but i don't want to be selfish

 **seungmo** : this isn't selfish!  
**seungmo** : i don't know if you can tell, but you make them happy just as much as they make you happy

 **sungshine** : oh  
**sungshine** : thank you for saying that

 **seungmo** : it's the truth

 **sungshine** : yeah but i think i needed to hear it from someone else to realize

 **seungmo** : i'm glad i could help you  
**seungmo** : and again, i'm so sorry for what's happening to you  
**seungmo** : i wish there was some way i could help

 **sungshine** : oh no it's fine, i've accepted it a long time ago! i'm sorry for burdening you with it...

 **seungmo** : i won't lie, it's not easy to hear, but i prefer knowing over not knowing  
**seungmo** : please consider that the rest of the guys might feel the same way about this... are you sure you don't want them to know? this is pretty serious

 **sungshine** : i know and i'll consider it, but i can't promise i'll tell them, at least not now

 **seungmo** : i don't agree, but i understand where you're coming from, i guess

 **sungshine** : thank you so much <3

 **seungmo** : <3  
**seungmo** : i hope you figure out a way to fix this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst? in this light-hearted crackhead story? it's more likely than you think
> 
> but also i can't deal with unhappy endings so don't worry about that :)


	9. coming out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back at it again witch the crAck

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**christiano** : come out

 **leeknow** : iM gAy

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm PaN

 **lixie** : i'M Bi

 **christiano** : i meant come out from your rooms but sure

 **hyunjinnie** : wOw ok i expected a little more support than that

 **christiano** : ???  
**christiano** : you mention your sexuality on the daily, why should i have any reaction to it this time

 **hyunjinnie** : oh you have a point lol

 **lixie** : why do we have to come out from our rooms?

 **sungshine** : chan hyung is going to show you the empty fridge and then preach the importance of restocking  
**sungshine** : "a shared household means shared responsibilities" lmao

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : i miss the times when i wasn't friends with an oracle who can expose me to my other friends at any given moment

 **binsual** : that's it?

 **christiano** : guys there's nothing to eat in this apartment

 **sungshine** : that's right

 **christiano** : ???  
**christiano** : you go from exposing me to backing me up in .1 second

 **sungshine** : yeah, so?

 **christiano** : ok just wanted to make sure you were aware

 **sungshine** : ahahah

 **leeknow** : oh no  
**leeknow** : does this mean grocery shopping??

 **hyunjinnie** : *shudders*

 **binsual** : ...this is a text conversation

 **hyunjinnie** : *intensified shudders*

 **christiano** : yeah it means grocery shopping  
**christiano** : that's how you usually get food, unless you were planning to go out and hunt?

 **leeknow** : i would prefer not to

 **christiano** : thought so

 **sungshine** : omg you reminded me that i have to go grocery shopping too

 **leeknow** : oh do you live on your own?

 **sungshine** : yes i do! :)  
**sungshine** : and i regret it every day because i can not take care of myself, nor can i manage a household! :))

 **hyunjinnie** : lmao same

 **christiano** : ...i'm concerned

 **sungshine** : nah don't be  
**sungshine** : i just said i'm gonna go grocery shopping, doesn't that prove how responsible i am?

 **lixie** : oh yeah definitely!

 **binsual** : no not really

 **lixie** : ...

 **christiano** : okay so who out of us seven is going to the store this time?  
**christiano** : after what happened last time, i'm saying right now that it has to be at least two people  
**christiano** : i'm not letting any of you go alone again

 **sungshine** : oof i bet someone feels personally targeted by that

 **hyunjinnie** : it really wasn't my fault hyung  
**hyunjinnie** : how could i have known what would happen?

 **sungshine** : what happened?

 **hyunjinnie** : i brought kkami with me and may or may not have cause some trouble in the store

 **leeknow** : does he know who kkami is?

 **sungshine** : yeah it's hyunjin's familiar!

 **hyunjinnie** : wait  
**hyunjinnie** : i don't think i've ever told you that..?

 **sungshine** : i may or may not have had a vision of kkami about a month ago and figured out that she was your familiar

 **binsual** : but wait  
**binsual** : doesn't that mean you knew hyunjin was a witch before we told you??

 **sungshine** : nope

 **lixie** : well this explanation is making no sense at all

 **sungshine** : i figured it out about five minutes ago when i suddenly remembered the vision i had and combined it with the fact that you're a witch

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh okay

 **innie** : hey i'm just stopping by to let you know that someone was supposed to go grocery shopping  
**innie** : this conversation is currently being highly unproductive

 **sungshine** : o o f

 **christiano** : the maknae has a point  
**christiano** : so who wants to go?

 **leeknow** : i can do it

 **sungshine** : ooh hyung can i come with you? i don't like shopping alone

 **leeknow** : yeah sure

 **hyunjinnie** : i'll come too!

 **christiano** : ...great, then that's decided  
**christiano** : please don't do magic in public, don't get arrested, don't get into any fights, uuh...  
**christiano** : yeah i think that's it

 **sungshine** : so you're saying we can do illegal shit as long as we don't get arrested and it doesn't include magic?

 **christiano** : yeah sure

 **sungshine** : ...

 **leeknow** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **binsual** : hyung i don't think you were supposed to say yes to that

 **christiano** : oh...

 **sungshine** : thanks hyung i'll see you later!

 **hyunjinnie** : have a nice afternoon!

 **leeknow** : we'll be back in a bit!

 **innie** : seungmin hyung was asleep next to me but he woke up right when they sent that

 **seungmo** : my "someone is about to do something stupid" alarm went off  
**seungmo** : after looking at this conversation, i know why  
**seungmo** : good luck dealing with this mess chan hyung

 **christiano** : thanks...


	10. please don't vore yourself

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : i'm gonna eat my toe

 **sungshine** : please don't vore yourself

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : hyunjin, why

 **hyunjinnie** : out of frustration

 **lixie** : why? what happened?

 **hyunjinnie** : so we finished grocery shopping, right, yay, and then we went to get ice cream  
**hyunjinnie** : the store is really full so i'm waiting for min hyung & jisungie outside  
**hyunjinnie** : and it's taking FOREVER  
**hyunjinnie** : soon, i'm gonna eat my toe for real

 **sungshine** : please don't do that we'll be out in a minute!

 **hyunjinnie** : here i go, taking off my shoe...

 **sungshine** : i just told minho hyung what you're doing and he said that you are god's mistake

 **hyunjinnie** : WOW  
**hyunjinnie** : that's high praise coming from him

 **seungmo** : ...sigh

 **binsual** : what goes on in this family

 **christiano** : sorry, i couldn't tell you buddy

 **lixie** : hyunminsung most chaotic trio confirmed

 **hyunjinnie** : you know, i take great pride in that

 **sungshine** : lol me too  
**sungshine** : minho hyung says we should have badges that say "most chaotic trio"

 **lixie** : badges of honor

 **hyunjinnie** : omg that would be hilarious

 **seungmo** : ...how do i normally put up with this shit

 **binsual** : you don't  
**binsual** : usually you just ignore it

 **seungmo** : hA you're right i'm leaving now

 **hyunjinnie** : actually i changed my mind and i'm not gonna vore myself

 **christiano** : can we please stop saying vore  
**christiano** : i am disturbed

 **binsual** : if you didn't want to witness their bs then you shouldn't have adopted them

 **lixie** : yeah technically it's your own fault hyung

 **hyunjinnie** : besides, you're the one who decided to name our coven Stray Kids  
**hyunjinnie** : as in kids, as in you're our parent since youre the leader

 **sungshine** : wait.., your coven's name is stray kids??

 **lixie** : yup lololol

 **sungshine** : omg i never knew that!!

 **christiano** : guys all i'm asking is that you don't eat yourselves  
**christiano** : that's literally it  
**christiano** : also i never adopted any of you

 **lixie** : ???

 **hyunjinnie** : you're the emergency contact for all of us  
**hyunjinnie** : and most of us have your number saved as "dad" or smth similar to it

 **lixie** : sungie please tell chan hyung that he's wrong

 **sungshine** : crispy hyung you should face facts: you're a dad now

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : ohmygosh i think i am

 **leeknow** : i'll let you know that i have him saved as "daddy"

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **leeknow** : but i guess that's beside the point

 **christiano** : yes  
**christiano** : it definitely is

 **sungshine** : okay but how many of you have the "you're my dad! boogie woogie woogie" song when he calls you?

 **hyunjinnie** : i do!

 **lixie** : yeah me too!

 **sungshine** : only you two? doesn't anyone else have it?

 **binsual** : well i don't

 **leeknow** : me neither

 **sungshine** : that's a disappointing minority  
**sungshine** : petition for all of you to set that as your ringtone for crispy hyung

 **hyunjinnie** : siGNED

 **lixie** : yeS!  
**lixie** : actually i think seungmin has it

 **leeknow** : jeongin might have it too, i think i've heard it from his phone

 **christiano** : okay great you guys see me as a father figure  
**christiano** : i'm still concerned about the repeated mention of vore in this conversation but ok  
**christiano** : how's it going with the ice cream?

 **leeknow** : jisungie lost rock paper scissors :)

 **binsual** : oh no, that's an ominous smiley

 **lixie** : sunGIE ARE YoU okAY??

 **leeknow** : i am entertained :)

 **christiano** : what did you do

 **leeknow** : don't look at me like that!  
**leeknow** : it was his suggestion!

 **christiano** : ...for the millionth time, this is a text conversation

 **lixie** : what suggestion?

 **leeknow** : whoever lost at rock paper scissors had to go up to the ice cream man and do the "i scream, you scream, gimme that gimme that ice cream"

 **hyunjinnie** : I HAVE IT ON VIDEO

 **christiano** : i thought you were waiting outside?

 **hyunjinnie** : when jisung is embarrassing himself in public?  
**hyunjinnie** : never

 **lixie** : wait did he really do it?

 **sungshine** : i said i would, so of course i did

 **lixie** : wow i'm so proud of my bestest friend <3  
**lixie** : hyunjin please send me the video

 **hyunjinnie** : ofc!

 **christiano** : why are my children dumb

 **leeknow** : i mean... do you really want me to answer that

 **christiano** : you're probably gonna say something rude about how they inherited it from me, so no  
**christiano** : go enjoy your ice cream instead

 **leeknow** : okay dad

 **hyunjinnie** : sure thing dad!

 **sungshine** : enjoy the peace and quiet in this gc while we're gone!

 **christiano** : oh, i will

 **binsual** : how could he?  
**binsual** : felix is still here

 **lixie** : ..im ofFENDED

 **sungshine** : lmao


	11. emotional support fren

**excuse me sir that's my emotional support fren [2]**

**lixie** : sungie i need emotional support come quick

 **sungshine** : i'm here!  
**sungshine** : do you need hugs? advice? someone to listen while you rant?

 **lixie** : aaahhh changbin hyung is being so sweet and my heart..  
**lixie** : it's..  
**lixie** : it's gonna combust!!!

 **sungshine** : aww

 **lixie** : this is not the time to coo at me in misery! hELP mE

 **sungshine** : okay i need more details  
**sungshine** : what is he doing that's so sweet?

 **lixie** : eXistTinG

 **sungshine** : oof okay, but maybe be a little more specific?

 **lixie** : he asked if i wanted to go with him to a noodle place and now we're at the noodle place and he's adorable  
**lixie** : help

 **sungshine** : lix those are called feelings! they're good for you! you should share them with changbin hyung!

 **lixie** : aAHH

 **sungshine** : wait is changbin hyung there with you rn? are you ignoring him??  
**sungshine** : cause in that case you better put down your phone right now!

 **lixie** : no no he went to the bathroom

 **sungshine** : okay good

 **lixie** : sungie what do i DO i really LIKE HIM but i am WORRIED he doesn't feel the sAME WAY

 **sungshine** : listen i get that it's overwhelming but he really likes you and you really like him  
**sungshine** : trust me when i say you don't have to worry about his feelings  
**sungshine** : you both make each other super happy

 **lixie** : yeah...

 **sungshine** : but you don't have to confess if you don't wanna! it's okay to wait!

 **lixie** : aah but i think i do want to tell him  
**lixie** : maybe

 **sungshine** : okay! then you should remember that there's no right or wrong way to do it  
**sungshine** : it's your life, your story  
**sungshine** : however it goes, that's okay! you're the only one who can say how it should go

 **lixie** : omg  
**lixie** : why are you so good at giving advice??

 **sungshine** : i know, i'm great

 **lixie** : ...and there we go

 **sungshine** : lmao

 **lixie** : but seriously thank you so much it really means a lot to me!  
**lixie** : you truly are the best emotional support fren there is  
**lixie** : thank you thank you thank you! <3

 **sungshine** : anytime <3

**3racha [3]**

**spearb** : hELP

 **cb97** : with what

 **spearb** : gAY PANIC

 **cb97** : yeah ok but that's nothing new  
**cb97** : you gay panic over felix on the daily

 **spearb** : i want to ask him on a date but every time i try it just becomes a normal friendly hangout!  
**spearb** : and i'm too scared to use the word date!

 **cb97** : oh...

 **spearb** : yeAH

 **cb97** : well you're both dumb so you need to be direct with him  
**cb97** : he won't understand if you don't use the word date

 **spearb** : ..but that's terrifying  
**spearb** : where's jisung? i need comedic relief

 **cb97** : no offense but i don't think he would be the comedic relief in this situation

 **spearb** : aAAH

 **cb97** : wait, you're not ignoring felix right now, are you?

 **spearb** : no no i went to the bathroom

 **cb97** : okay good  
**cb97** : have you considered to just tell him how you feel?

 **spearb** : like, right now???

 **cb97** : or whenever you feel comfortable doing it!  
**cb97** : doesn't have to be right now

 **spearb** : i mean i've definitely considered it, but what if he doesn't feel the same?

 **cb97** : even if that was a problem, you wouldn't have to worry about it because he cares about you  
**cb97** : a lot  
**cb97** : just imagine how much you care about him, and then imagine that he cares about you the same amount

 **spearb** : hOLY SHIT that's a lot!!

 **cb97** : i know!  
**cb97** : so if he told you he had feelings for you, but you didn't have feelings for him, nothing would change, right?

 **spearb** : no of course not  
**spearb** : he'd still be my best friend even if i didn't love him the same way  
**spearb** : i think i'd just feel sorry that i couldn't reciprocate his feelings

 **cb97** : he feels the same way about you

 **spearb** : oh

 **cb97** : yeah  
**cb97** : now you should really get out of that bathroom before he starts wondering if you're run away from him

 **spearb** : oH right!

 **j.one** : hey guys i'm here now and changbin hyung i really think you should go back to lix

 **spearb** : i'm omw!

 **j.one** : good  
**j.one** : he's waiting for you

 **cb97** : sounds ominous

 **spearb** : ok i'm gonna put my phone away now  
**spearb** : i guess we'll just wait and see what happens

 **j.one** : oh, we will

 **cb97** : ...  
**cb97** : what did you and felix SAY to each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just dedicate a whole chapter to changlix's gay panic? i believe i did


	12. whipped b/witches

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : i just watched jisungie struggle to open an umbrella for five minutes straight

 **sungshine** : and i just saw you trip on air  
**sungshine** : we all have our flaws

 **leeknow** : lmao

 **lixie** : omg i think that's the first time i've seen him lmao

 **leeknow** : sungie is funny  
**leeknow** : jinnie is funny  
**leeknow** : what about it

 **seungmo** : isn't it funny how jisung's screen name is sungshine when minho hyung is a solar witch?

 **leeknow** : oh yes  
**leeknow** : hilarious

 **lixie** : kind of sounds like there's a second meaning to that, don't you think?

 **leeknow** : not really

 **binsual** : whipped bitches

 **christiano** : *whipped witches

 **leeknow** : says you

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah min hyung has a point  
**hyunjinnie** : neither of you get to comment on this

 **sungshine** : lol you're both whipped af

 **lixie** : wait sung are you talking about chan & changbin hyung or hyunjin & minho hyung?

 **sungshine** : yes

 **lixie** : ahahha

 **seungmo** : just admit it  
**seungmo** : everyone here is whipped

 **sungshine** : even you??

 **seungmo** : ...no

 **innie** : oh? you're not?

 **christiano** : wow, you even managed to summon jeongin

 **seungmo** : i'm not whipped

 **innie** : yes you are

 **seungmo** : your words of defiance bring me an ungodly amount of rage  
**seungmo** : the only logical way to deal with this is by suffocating you in cuddles

 **innie** : ...iiiiiihhhh

 **leeknow** : oh i'm sorry what was that? did you just make jeongin speechless?

 **binsual** : seems so

 **seungmo** : oh shut up, you're both just as whipped, if not more

 **leeknow** : hey! no i'm not!

 **christiano** : yeah you are  
**christiano** : stop the arguing and just admit that you're all whipped af and there's nothing you can do about it

 **leeknow** : ...

 **binsual** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : the old man has a point

 **christiano** : hyunjin!

 **sungshine** : people, listen to your god  
**sungshine** : jisus CHRISt is here with the wisest words you'll ever hear

 **christiano** : ..thanks jisung

 **sungshine** : ^.^

 **hyunjinnie** : well if jisus CHRISt is a thing then i'm starting a jult  
**hyunjinnie** : who wants to join?

 **leeknow** : me!

 **christiano** : of course it's you two

 **binsual** : wait  
**binsual** : while we're on the topic of whipped bitches...

**3racha [3]**

**spearb** : guess who just got their shit together and asked their crush on a date!

 **j.one** : not you

 **spearb** : yeah you're right it was not me  
**spearb** : it was felix

 **cb97** : omg congrats to you guys! took you long enough

 **spearb** : ...i never said he asked ME on a date

 **j.one** : yeah well i am lix's emotional support fren and i know exactly who his crush is  
**j.one** : you still wanna argue that he didn't ask you on a date?

 **spearb** : o o f..., i guess not

 **j.one** : yeah i thought so  
**j.one** : but congrats hyung i'm happy for you!  
**j.one** : i hope your wedding is perfect and that your children don't inherit too many of your subpar genes!

 **cb97** : jisung you're getting ahead of yourself

 **spearb** : ...it's just one date  
**spearb** : also wHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

 **j.one** : maybe it's just one date for now, but i know what the future holds...

 **cb97** : how ominous  
**cb97** : anyway i'm happy for you! but why not send this in the gc with everyone else??

 **spearb** : well... considering you're the ones that had to witness our gay panic the most i thought it's only fair we tell you first

 **j.one** : aww that's thoughtful  
**j.one** : but felix already told me though

 **spearb** : wHAT

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : ...did he just send that and then leave?

 **seungmo** : yeah

 **innie** : seems like it

 **hyunjinnie** : ok

 **lixie** : i think he was going to tell you that i asked him out  
**lixie** : like, on a date :)

 **hyunjinnie** : wHAT REALLY???

 **leeknow** : you two got your shit together before seung & jeongin ????

 **lixie** : yeah we did ^_^

 **seungmo** : ...i was about to say congrats to you two, but after this slander i don't think i want to :/

 **innie** : ...  
**innie** : did they lie though?

 **seungmo** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : omg why are all the relationships happening at once

 **innie** : anyway! good job you two, i'm happy for you :D

 **lixie** : thank you innie!  
**lixie** : still wondering where changbin hyung went but i guess he'll be back

 **sungshine** : oh he was just telling me & crispy hyung that you asked him out

 **lixie** : ashjkhdf  
**lixie** : why couldn't he do that here?

 **christiano** : something about us witnessing his gay panic too many times, idk

 **binsual** : well we're back now

 **seungmo** : oh wow are you & felix gonna be disgustingly in love from now on?  
**seungmo** : will i have to witness it?

 **leeknow** : yeah probably

 **hyunjinnie** : oof i wish i had someone to disgust seungmin with

 **sungshine** : i'm right here baby

 **seungmo** : ..barf

 **hyunjinnie** : omg i didn't think it was gonna work  
**hyunjinnie** : i wish i had TWO people to disgust seungmin with!

 **leeknow** : all you had to do was ask ;)

 **seungmo** : sTOP

 **lixie** : hyunminsung being disgusting right in front of seungmin's salad?  
**lixie** : it's more likely than you think

 **seungmo** : i have died, i am now deceased  
**seungmo** : i'll see u all in hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if i ever said this but i have an uploading schedule! this story updates 4 times a week :))


	13. emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : quick pick a new name:  
 **hyunjinnie** : straight kids or straw kids??

 **lixie** : sTRAW KIDS

 **seungmo** : of course that's your choice

 **lixie** : well then what would u pick?

 **seungmo** : straight kids

 **binsual** : but none of us are straight?

 **seungmo** : i know  
**seungmo** : it's irony

 **sungshine** : straw kids!!  
**sungshine** : yeehaw

 **binsual** : i think seungmin had a good idea

 **seungmo** : by the way, minho and chan hyung are both ignoring this chat right now  
**seungmo** : oh and jeongin is, too

 **hyunjinnie** : never mind those three it's not like they could provide a valid argument anyway

 **seungmo** : damn

 **lixie** : oof,,, i guess we're just glossing over that casual burn

 **leeknow** : i think we should be stupid kids

 **seungmo** : oh, hello minho hyung!  
**seungmo** : i thought you were ignoring this chat

 **leeknow** : i was

 **lixie** : but then he realized that he couldn't stand being apart from us so he came back! <3

 **leeknow** : no i just realized that i was hungry  
**leeknow** : does anyone wanna go get food?

 **christiano** : please take hyunjin, he's been singing wow for the past hour and i'm slowly losing my sanity

 **binsual** : you can't lose what you don't have hyung

 **christiano** : hilarious  
**christiano** : please just take him

 **lixie** : oh hyung! i have a question!

 **christiano** : sure what is it lix?

 **lixie** : can we put a kiddie pool on the balcony please?

 **binsual** : ...

 **christiano** : who's "we"?

 **lixie** : me and jisung!

 **christiano** : ...any specific reason for this request?

 **sungshine** : it's fun? what reason could you possibly need for wanting a kiddie pool on the balcony  
**sungshine** : we just want to entertain ourselves

 **binsual** : that sounds like a rather harmless way of doing it

 **christiano** : yeah but i still don't trust them

 **lixie** : why not :(  
**lixie** : besides hyung, you're home so you'll notice if we do something weird

 **christiano** : i'm actually in the studio rn and i won't be back for another two hours

 **sungshine** : oh

 **christiano** : yeah so you should wait until i come back before you do that

 **lixie** : oh okay

 **sungshine** : minho hyung! hyunjinnie!

 **leeknow** : you wanna come with us and get food sungie?

 **sungshine** : yes please

 **hyunjinnie** : great! we'll stop by your apartment then

 **sungshine** : you're driving?

 **hyunjinnie** : no no no  
**hyunjinnie** : i'm teleporting us

 **sungshine** : aaah wow i hate teleporting  
**sungshine** : no offense

 **hyunjinnie** : ..none taken?

 **leeknow** : why do you hate teleporting?

 **sungshine** : i tried to learn it when i was younger and living in malaysia  
**sungshine** : it was in the jungle and i accidentally teleported myself to a waterfall  
**sungshine** : then there was a crocodile right behind me that was kinda trying to eat me

 **hyunjinnie** : OH

 **sungshine** : so yeah that was scary

 **hyunjinnie** : oh wow that's terrifying

 **leeknow** : i get why you don't like teleporting then

 **sungshine** : yeaah.., i haven't really done it since

 **leeknow** : understandable  
**leeknow** : but we can't teleport in public anyway so i can just drive us to your apartment if that's okay?

 **sungshine** : oh yeah it is, thank you hyung!

 **leeknow** : no problem

 **hyunjinnie** : hey maybe we should make a separate gc since we're the only three talking rn

 **sungshine** : a point has been made

 **leeknow** : i'll make it

  
__

**leeknow** has added **hyunjinnie, sungshine** to **emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**leeknow** : welcome peasants

 **hyunjinnie** : we don't want to go home

 **sungshine** : eey macarena

 **leeknow** : ..wonderful job everybody  
**leeknow** : btw me and hyunjin are walking to the car rn

 **hyunjinnie** : hey what's up with this chat name

 **sungshine** : it should be in guinness world records for the longest name of a group chat

 **leeknow** : it really should

 **sungshine** : wAIT if you're on your way then i should be getting ready !!

 **hyunjinnie** : good idea sungie

 **sungshine** : yeah i have them every once in a while

 **leeknow** : lmao  
**leeknow** : see you soon

 **sungshine** : ^.^


	14. hyunminsung

**3racha [3]**

**cb97** : were you just... on a dATE??

 **j.one** : no no no no  
**j.one** : we were literally just out getting food

 **spearb** : weren't you three flirting in the gc yesterday?

 **j.one** : they didn't actually mean it

 **cb97** : did they say that or is it your take on the situation?

 **j.one** : is there a difference?

 **spearb** : oh i certainly think there is  
**spearb** : your take on the situation would be "no one could ever love me lmao"

 **cb97** : was the "lmao" necessary?

 **j.one** : well that's how i would say it so yeah

 **spearb** : and you may not know them too well but i don't think it's all a joke  
**spearb** : they may the the most chaotic flirts ever, but they don't play with people's feelings

 **cb97** : changbinnie is right  
**cb97** : you don't see them flirting with felix or seungmin or literally anyone else

 **j.one** : ..oh

 **spearb** : yeah

 **j.one** : ohmygosh now i'm scared

 **cb97** : why? i've seen the heart eyes you give both of them

 **j.one** : yeaaaaah that's not it

 **spearb** : what's wrong then?

 **j.one** : noooothing  
**j.one** : oof i need advice

 **cb97** : okay about what?

 **j.one** : bye!

 **spearb** : ...

 **cb97** : ...what

**sungshine - > seungmo [private chat]**

**sungshine** : seungmin hELP  
 **sungshine** : i've accidentally been flirting with people that i have real feelings for and now it turns out they've been flirting with me too!

 **seungmo** : i had assumed you were aware of that

 **sungshine** : well i wASN'T

 **seungmo** : just so we're clear, you're talking about minho hyung and hyunjin, right?

 **sunghine** : yupyup

 **seungmo** : but you say you have feelings for them?

 **sungshine** : exactly

 **seungmo** : and this is a problem because...?

 **sungshine** : i feel like i'm leading them on  
**sungshine** : which is why i came to you because you're the only one i can talk to about this

 **seungmo** : oh  
**seungmo** : since i'm the only one who knows about the curse...

 **sungshine** : yeah..  
**sungshine** : i mean, it would be wrong of me to continue to flirt with them, right?

 **seungmo** : you're not exactly leading them on but it wouldn't be fair to get serious unless you tell them what they're in for

 **sungshine** : yeah... and i can't do that

 **seungmo** : you can though  
**seungmo** : and i'm pretty sure they would still wanna be with you even after knowing

 **sungshine** : yeah but i don't want that for them

 **seungmo** : okay  
**seungmo** : OH!  
**seungmo** : i actually talked to another witch (a potion master that my brother is friends with) about curses, and he said that every curse has a cure, no matter what the curse is

 **sungshine** : mmm

 **seungmo** : jisung, do you know the cure for your curse?

 **sungshine** : no, i don't, and i've tried to find out but it's hard since the curse wasn't cast on purpose  
**sungshine** : eventually i gave up because i didn't want to waste the time i had left on searching for something i'll probably never find

 **seungmo** : i don't think i'll ever get used to hearing you talk so casually about dying..

 **sungshine** : sorry minnie

 **seungmo** : i still think the best thing to do would be tell everyone else  
**seungmo** : if we all search for a cure, we'd have to find something

 **sungshine** : i'd rather us just live happily together for a few months than waste time on something that seems impossible

 **seungmo** : and i get that, but don't you think you should take the chance to save yourself?

 **sungshine** : ...maybe

 **seungmo** : don't you think they deserve to know the truth, even if it's just so they can prepare themselves for what's going to happen?

 **sungshine** : okay you're being very logical here  
**sungshine** : it's very hard to argue when you make so much sense

 **seungmo** : ahhah, i know  
**seungmo** : but i think you should consider it for real

 **sungshine** : i will  
**sungshine** : no promises, but i will think about it

 **seungmo** : that's all i'm asking


	15. one week later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeogiyo nuna, hogsi namjachingu isseoyo…? :))
> 
> that has nothing to do with this chapter but it's been in my head since i woke up lmao sorry jisung

**leeknow - > sungshine [private chat]**

**leeknow** : can you add me back to the gc

 **sungshine** : wait what why  
**sungshine** : what did you do?

 **leeknow** : got kicked out

 **sungshine** : how??

 **leeknow** : i made a joke

 **sungshine** : hyung you're gonna have to explain a little better i have no idea what's going on

 **leeknow** : okay  
**leeknow** : so all i said was  
**leeknow** : "i wanna bang chan"  
**leeknow** : then chan hyung kicked me out

 **sungshine** : ...

 **leeknow** : it was a joke

 **sungshine** : yeah i get it, because his name is bang chan  
**sungshine** : it just wasn't funny

 **leeknow** : well can you add me back to the chat?

 **sungshine** : yeah i guess

 **leeknow** : thanks

**eight witches, bitches [7]**

**sungshine** has added **leeknow** to the group

**innie** : and that's how i became the president of an underground furry club

 **sungshine** : ...

 **leeknow** : ...  
**leeknow** : maybe it was better when i wasn't in this gc

 **innie** : omg hyung you just missed my entire story

 **christiano** : please no

 **seungmo** : ffs, we don't need to hear it again!

 **innie** : rude  
**innie** : i wasn't even going to tell it again  
**innie** : it's minho hyung's fault that he missed it

 **leeknow** : i'm glad i did

 **binsual** : you should be

 **seungmo** : i wish i could unhear it

 **hyunjinnie** : innie truly only uses this chat when he wants to terrorize us  
**hyunjinnie** : case in point, this entire conversation

 **lixie** : HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

 **christiano** : you're a little late to the conversation, bud

 **lixie** : well i had a choreography to present today so class finished later than usual

 **christiano** : then why has hyunjin been on his phone the past ten minutes?  
**christiano** : he's in your class too

 **hyunjinnie** : ...oops?

 **christiano** : big sigh

 **binsual** : exposed!!

 **hyunjinnie** : in my defense, i already presented my choreography and it was getting boring

 **leeknow** : wow that's the greatest defense i've ever heard  
**leeknow** : "it was boring"

 **hyunjinnie** : ajsdhk ok maybe it's not the best excuse but at least i'm honest!!  
**hyunjinnie** : anyway i'm teleporting home rn!

 **lixie** : noo! you left me

 **hyunjinnie** : ...oops?  
**hyunjinnie** : but i'm home already now

 **lixie** : aah it's okay i'm going out with binnie hyung anyway

 **sungshine** : on a Date??

 **lixie** : yes ^.^

 **sungshine** : ooh have fun!

 **leeknow** : i'm leaving the apartment now

 **hyunjinnie** : me too!

 **christiano** : wait minho and hyunjin where are you two off to?

 **leeknow** : we are going to the candy shop to deepthroat some dildo lollipops

 **binsual** : normal human language please

 **leeknow** : ...  
**leeknow** : we're going to buy candy

 **christiano** : thank you for giving me a straight answer  
**christiano** : and i mean that in two ways

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh i get it lol  
**hyunjinnie** : straight as in direct and straight as in heterosexual

 **seungmo** : the explanation wasn't needed but thanks anyway

 **lixie** : don't be rude! maybe someone needed the explanation

 **binsual** : you can say jisung, it's okay

 **sungshine** : excuse me??  
**sungshine** : i did nothing

 **binsual** : did you or did you not steal my headphones this morning?

 **sungshine** : okay you make a decent argument

 **leeknow** : jisung we always bully you i don't know why you're still surprised

 **sungshine** : is that supposed to be comforting..?

 **leeknow** : no it's just a statement of fact

 **sungshine** : sigh  
**sungshine** : this is why crispy is my favorite hyung

 **leeknow** : gASP

 **binsual** : you take that back right now!

 **sungshine** : make me

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh kinky!

 **seungmo** : literally. why

 **innie** : am i allowed to leave this gc?

 **christiano** : no  
**christiano** : if i have to suffer then you do too

 **sungshine** : i meant nothing kinky with my statement, stop reading into things!

 **hyunjinnie** : :(

 **sungshine** : omg no don't sad face!

 **binsual** : ..did you just use sad face as a verb?

 **sungshine** : is that wrong?

 **seungmo** : uh, yes

 **lixie** : it's not though  
**lixie** : you can use words however you want to

 **seungmo** : okay this conversation is deteriorating

 **leeknow** : all our conversations do

 **sungshine** : wait why am i getting called kinky when minho hyung literally said he was gonna deepthroat some dildo lollipops?

 **hyunjinnie** : ...you make a valid argument

 **christiano** : please don't go any further with your kink talk

 **lixie** : in this christian minecraft server?  
**lixie** : we would never

 **christiano** : good

 **lixie** : jisung hyunjin minho, let's make another group chat

 **hyunjinnie** : ok!

 **leeknow** : i'll make it now

 **sungshine** : good idea lixie!

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : be glad hyung, this means we don't have to witness it

 **christiano** : it's still happening though

 **seungmo** : somewhere in a dark alley, god is crying

 **innie** : why is he in an alley?

 **seungmo** : why wouldn't he be?

 **binsual** : i can't come up with a single reason why he would be

 **christiano** : do you three also have to make a private chat for this?

 **seungmo** : ok i'll make one

 **innie** : sure

 **binsual** : yeah

 **christiano** : ...that's not what i meant  
**christiano** : but i guess this works out in my favor  
**christiano** : Big Sigh


	16. kinda lost

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**innie** : uuh, guys

 **christiano** : innie! where are you? we've been trying to reach you for an hour

 **innie** : yeah about that..  
**innie** : i don't know

 **binsual** : you don't know? what do you mean you don't know??

 **seungmo** : weren't you going to the witch shop right outside the city?

 **innie** : yeah i was  
**innie** : so obviously i had to take the bus to get home from there  
**innie** : but i kind of fell asleep on the bus and now i'm kinda lost  
**innie** : ..help me please

 **seungmo** : stay where you are i'm coming to get you

 **christiano** : you sure? otherwise i could pick him up

 **seungmo** : no it's fine hyung  
**seungmo** : oh  
**seungmo** : jisung just private messaged me what station jeongin is at

 **binsual** : jisung?

 **seungmo** : yeah, the guy you've been friends with since the start of this semester

 **binsual** : well yEAH obviously i know who jisung is  
**binsual** : i meant more like, how does he know that??

 **sungshine** : i am an O R A C L E  
**sungshine** : which is something you all seem to forget way too often

 **binsual** : ...oops?

 **christiano** : good job jisung  
**christiano** : hang on innie, seungmin will be there as soon as possible

 **innie** : thanks hyungs, i'll wait

 **christiano** : do you want to talk to us in the meantime?

 **innie** : no my phone is about to die  
**innie** : but it's okay

 **sungshine** : seungmin should be there in like twenty minutes!

 **innie** : thank you hyung

 **sungshine** : np!

 **christiano** : is everyone else asleep already?

 **binsual** : hyung it's like 11 pm and sunday  
**binsual** : i wouldn't say "already"  
**binsual** : 11 pm is a normal bedtime if you have your life together

 **christiano** : oh? so you admit that you don't have your life together?

 **binsual** : ...weeell in that case, none of you have your life together, since you're awake as well

 **sungshine** : yeah you're right! i don't! ^.^

 **binsual** : ...

 **christiano** : you're not supposed to be that proud of it

 **sungshine** : well i am :D  
**sungshine** : oh...  
**sungshine** : jeongin's phone is dead now

 **christiano** : oh okay  
**christiano** : what about seungmin?

 **sungshine** : he just got on the bus, should be there in 15 minutes

 **binsual** : 15 minutes is a long time...  
**binsual** : isn't hyunjin awake? he could teleport there

 **christiano** : you would know that if you just stepped out into the living room  
**christiano** : him and felix are sleeping on the couch

 **binsual** : aah.. is jeongin still okay?

 **sungshine** : he's fine  
**sungshine** : or you know, a little worried, but he's fine

 **christiano** : i'll stay up and wait until they get back to our apartment  
**christiano** : binnie you should go to bed, you have class in the morning

 **binsual** : i thought we had already established the fact that i do not have my life together

 **christiano** : well maybe we shouldn't spam the gc while everyone's asleep

 **sungshine** : why not  
**sungshine** : it's not like they scroll up anyway

 **christiano** : sungie you should go to bed too, or you're gonna be tired tomorrow

 **sungshine** : ahsjsha  
**sungshine** : is this what parental care feels like

 **christiano** : okay please just get off your phone and try to sleep

 **binsual** : you already know that seungmin & jeongin will be fine so you don't have to wait up

 **sungshine** : sure, i'll go to bed if binnie hyung goes to bed

 **binsual** : ...  
**binsual** : isn't this extortion

 **christiano** : okay both of you just get out of this gc and go to sleep or whatever

 **sungshine** : sure thing!

 **binsual** : okay fine

**sungshine - > seungmo [private chat]**

**sungshine** : heeeey  
 **sungshine** : did it go well with jeongin?

 **seungmo** : yeah actually...

 **sungshine** : oh?  
**sungshine** : something happen?

 **seungmo** : he KISSED my CHEEK and said THANK YOU

 **sungshine** : ahahah i bet you blushed and stuttered after that lmaooo

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : you know, i can't even argue bc you're right

 **sungshine** : oh wow really? you became a panicked gay?

 **seungmo** : ahshj stop.

 **sungshine** : teehee  
**sungshine** : well good job anyway! it was a nice thing of you to do

 **seungmo** : anyone would have done it

 **sungshine** : yeah but you're the one who did it  
**sungshine** : i'm gonna go to bed now because i told crispy hyung i would but i'll see you tomorrow!

 **seungmo** : yeah yeah  
**seungmo** : sleep well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i could post twenty chapters in one day. not gonna do it because i won't, but i'm just saying i could. this is not a threat bc it is... but just know that i could
> 
> edit: sorry i've been sick for 3 days and idk what i'm saying anymore


	17. we panicked at the party

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : we panicked at the party

 **sungshine** : amen

 **lixie** : hell yeah we did

 **christiano** : felix? cussing??  
**christiano** : what is this alternate universe we've found ourselves in??

 **lixie** : if you haven't heard me cuss then i don't think you know me very well

 **christiano** : i know, i was being sarcastic

 **lixie** : aah okay then i understand ^.^

 **binsual** : he goes from swearing to being adorable in .5 seconds  
**binsual** : my heart can't handle it

 **leeknow** : hey fuckers what's going on

 **binsual** : ...

 **sungshine** : hi hyung!

 **hyunjinnie** : we panicked at the party, that's what's going on

 **christiano** : i'm still wondering what you mean by that

 **seungmo** : the world may never know  
**seungmo** : and they should be glad they don't have to hear it

 **sungshine** : stop pretending to be salty abt this, you love us!

 **seungmo** : if the feeling of love makes you want to stab people, then yeah, i love you guys  
**seungmo** : i love you a LOT

 **innie** : oh wow, i've never heard "i love you" sound so aggressive before

 **seungmo** : those three little shits just had a karaoke battle and i think my ears are broken

 **lixie** : LITTLE shits???  
**lixie** : we're all older than you

 **seungmo** : your singing was AWFUL

 **binsual** : rude

 **seungmo** : the worst part is i know they can all sing, but for some reason they decided to be little shits and break my ears in the process  
**seungmo** : THAT's rude

 **innie** : ooh what were they singing

 **hyunjinnie** : panic at the disco  
**hyunjinnie** : which is why this conversation started the way it did

 **christiano** : seungmin, don't be mad

 **lixie** : yeah!

 **christiano** : they're always like this, you should be used to it by now

 **lixie** : ...

 **sungshine** : ahhahahh

 **hyunjinnie** : he's laughing because the truth hurts

 **lixie** : when they ask you how you are and you have to say you're fine but you're not fine but you just can't get into it because they would never understand

 **leeknow** : everyday, man

 **christiano** : ...well this is spiraling quickly  
**christiano** : does anyone have anything important to say or..?

 **lixie** : oh! me me me!

 **christiano** : okay lix what is it?

 **lixie** : wait shit i forgot  
**lixie** : but i think i may have said it out loud

 **seungmo** : "gamers? more like gaymers"

 **lixie** : no not that

 **hyunjinnie** : "i'm gonna name my future child thanos"

 **lixie** : not that either

 **binsual** : ...what conversations are you guys HAVING

 **leeknow** : we could make one of those incorrect quote accounts for felix  
**leeknow** : except everything on there would be something he's actually said

 **sungshine** : guys what day is it today

 **lixie** : why are you asking the gc  
**lixie** : we're literally right next to you

 **sungshine** : yeah but i don't trust you guys to know what day it is

 **innie** : it's tuesday

 **sungshine** : oh okay!  
**sungshine** : we're going to a party this saturday

 **lixie** : oh right, THAT's what i was gonna tell you!!

 **christiano** : who's going to the party? do you know who's party it is? where is it? will you be drinking? do you need someone to drive you?

 **binsual** : okay dad calm down

 **seungmo** : me felix jisung & hyunjin, seonghwa hyung, i can text you his address later, maybe, we'll be fine getting there but maybe home

 **sungshine** : wow seungmin is great at answering questions

 **christiano** : okay just be careful, alright?

 **lixie** : aren't we always?

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : more like "are you ever?"

 **christiano** : i don't remember signing up to be a single parent

 **hyunjinnie** : lmao  
**hyunjinnie** : deal with it

 **binsual** : it's your own fault for adopting us

 **christiano** : a decision that i have regretted every single day of my life :/

 **seungmo** : wow ok thanks dad

 **christiano** : but i love you guys anyway <3  
**christiano** : wouldn't have adopted you if i didn't

 **sungshine** : wow! he's finally acknowledging his role as a father!

 **lixie** : this is true character growth

 **christiano** : yeah well i had to finish by saying that i love you so you don't actually get offended when i insult you

 **leeknow** : life hacks with chan - end all your offensive statements with "i love you"

 **binsual** : that's good advice

 **sungshine** : 10/10 would try

 **lixie** : yeah, for sure!

 **innie** : sometimes i wonder why i associate with people like you  
**innie** : then i remember the free food & daily entertainment that i get out of it

 **hyunjinnie** : omg i don't think i've ever heard him imply that we're entertaining before

 **leeknow** : this is high praise coming from him

 **christiano** : maknae on top

 **lixie** : truly

 **innie** : well, i would never say that i love you guys, but i guess you can be decent at times :/

 **sungshine** : l i a r, you said you loved us yesterday!

 **innie** : ...no comment

 **hyunjinnie** : o o f

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i have an "important" (not really lmao) question about a future skz text fic that i may or may not have started planning already:
> 
> if skz was a group of werewolves & vampires, what would felix & jeongin be??? rn i have them both as werewolves but i only have 3 vampires in all of skz so maybe i should make felix and/or jeongin a vampire so they're more even.. but at the same i like that they're not evenly divided between werewolves and vampires??? idk i'm indecisive af please reply


	18. the incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mentions of non-consensual touching & changbin punching someone in the face

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : ohmYGOSH i've never been so proud of changbin in my life

 **seungmo** : uhm

 **leeknow** : like, y e s !!!  
**leeknow** : i can finally claim him as my best friend

 **christiano** : what happened?

 **leeknow** : he punched a guy in the face

 **innie** : oH

 **binsual** : that disgusting bitch DESERVED IT.

 **christiano** : okay, i have several questions right now  
**christiano** : (i'm also concerned about how excited minho is about violence but that's another discussion)  
**christiano** : what happened??

 **leeknow** : so i was casually third-wheeling changlix as usual

 **binsual** : no, it started when we were trying to find felix outside the school building, you weren't actually third-wheeling at the time

 **leeknow** : oh right, so me & changbin saw felix outside the school building but then a stranger walked up to him before we could

 **binsual** : and that fucker fucking touched him

 **hyunjinnie** : hE DID??

 **leeknow** : yeah so the dude smirked and grabbed felix's arm to pull him closer and then touched his ass  
**leeknow** : i've never seen changbin move that fast  
**leeknow** : the guy was definitely over 6 feet but changbin just ran up and fucking d e c k e d him

 **innie** : YES!! good job changbin hyung

 **seungmo** : oh shit is lix okay?

 **binsual** : yeah.. he's on the phone with jisung right now  
**binsual** : since they're "emotional support friends" apparently

 **leeknow** : actually, it's "emotional support frens"

 **binsual** : oh i'm sO sorry

 **christiano** : are you all okay? tell felix to call me when he's talked to jisung  
**christiano** : do you know who the fucker was?

 **leeknow** : changbin's hand is hurt but he's refusing to admit that  
**leeknow** : and no, we didn't recognize the dude

 **binsual** : my hand barely hurts hyung

 **seungmo** : is the guy still there?

 **binsual** : his nose was bleeding heavily, do you think he'd just stick around after that?

 **seungmo** : sorry for asking..?

 **christiano** : okay binnie, chill out a little, i get you're upset after what happened but don't be rude  
**christiano** : how's your hand?

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm still on campus! tell me where you are right now cause i'm coming to heal you!

 **leeknow** : we're just on a bench right outside the main building

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm rushing there rn!

 **christiano** : no no hyunjin no

 **hyunjin:** ...walking as fast as possible without stumbling!

 **christiano** : better

 **seungmo** : if you want me to, i could find out who the guy is

 **binsual** : yes

 **leeknow** : no, wait  
**leeknow** : we should ask felix before we do anything

 **binsual** : we should report the fucker is what we should do

 **christiano** : you're both right, but try asking felix first since he's with you right now  
**christiano** : he'll probably agree that you should report him

 **seungmo** : okay so i guess i'm coming too

 **leeknow** : i think the guy ran to the nurse's office

 **seungmo** : i'll go there then

 **binsual** : quick question  
**binsual** : how are you going to find out his name?

 **seungmo** : illegally

 **christiano** : ...i really hope that's not the case

 **leeknow** : i had assumed he was just gonna use his powers on the guy  
**leeknow** : you know, telepathy

 **seungmo** : yes

 **binsual** : hyunjin is here with us now and ahaj

 **innie** : ahaj?

 **leeknow** : hyunjin just took changbin's phone away so that he can heal his hand easier  
**leeknow** : which makes me their spokesperson in the gc

 **christiano** : what about felix?

 **leeknow** : he's still talking to jisung but he waved at hyunjin

 **sungshine** : sIKE you thought

 **lixie** : *you thot

 **sungshine** : oh that's right

 **christiano** : lix are you okay?? :(

 **lixie** : yeah hyung ^.^  
**lixie** : i was kinda pressed for a second there and thought i would have to dropkick a guy, but then binnie hyung showed up

 **christiano** : ...well i'm glad you can defend yourself

 **leeknow** : bin says that felix was already about to start fighting when we showed up

 **lixie** : yeah well i was

 **sungshine** : seungmin, did you find out his name?

 **seungmo** : yeah  
**seungmo** : who wants to kill him??

 **lixie** : private message me what his name is, i'll report him myself  
**lixie** : i can't trust that you guys won't actually kill him if you find out his name :/

 **leeknow** : i mean, we definitely would

 **seungmo** : his name is sent now

 **lixie** : thanks ^-^

 **hyunjinnie** : changbin hyung's hand is all good now thanks to your favorite cosmic witch ;)

 **binsual** : wooyoung? :o

 **christiano** : bambam??

 **innie** : beomgyu?¿?

 **hyunjinnie** : ...i hate you guys  
**hyunjinnie** : also i had no idea those people were cosmic witches so thanks for that knowledge ig

 **christiano** : guys i'm glad everyone is okay  
**christiano** : felix do you want me to come with you?

 **lixie** : yeah actually okay

 **leeknow** : changbin hyung just asked felix why chan hyung gets to know the fucker's name when he doesn't  
**leeknow** : "hyung you would kill the guy"

 **binsual** : i guess that's fair

 **christiano** : okay i'm coming to you guys now

 **innie** : i feel like everyone is there  
**innie** : everyone except me & jisung hyung

 **lixie** : hey how bout we all go get food after me and chan hyung have reported him??

 **hyunjinnie** : sounds nice

 **innie** : yeah i'll be there

 **sungshine** : i can't i'm sick :(

 **hyunjinnie** : aw noo

 **leeknow** : get well soon jisungie

 **sungshine** : thanks hyung ^.^

 **christiano** : okay so i've reached felix and the others now  
**christiano** : innie you can come to us  
**christiano** : felix and i will be back soon and then we can eat

 **innie** : ok hyung!

 **christiano** : hope you get better soon sung!

 **sungshine** : thanksss

 **lixie** : "it's an avacado! thanksss"

 **leeknow** : ok it's time to leave

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : most of us are together anyway

 **christiano** : a great excuse for me to turn off my phone

 **seungmo** : same


	19. boys in skirts

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : i would like to see that

 **sungshine** : hyung...

 **leeknow** : oH  
**leeknow** : this is the wrong chat  
**leeknow** : so sorry, please ignore that

 **seungmo** : ...i'm not sure if i wanna know the context or not

 **binsual** : i mean it's either gonna be weird or inappropriate  
**binsual** : not sure which is worse tbh

 **sungshine** : guys it's okay you don't need context

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh so jisung knows what it's about

 **sungshine** : bITCH so you do

 **leeknow** : hyunjin you're there too

 **lixie** : oh?  
**lixie** : you three have a gc together?? :o

 **hyunjinnie** : emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded

 **sungshine** : yeah we do

 **binsual** : wait is that the chat name  
**binsual** : why is it so long?

 **sungshine** : tbh we just wanted attention

 **innie** : hyung, what is the context?

 **leeknow** : okay, but only because you asked so nicely:  
**leeknow** : boys in skirts  
**leeknow** : and that's all you need to know

 **lixie** : omg i think i know what this is about now..!

 **hyunjinnie** : you dO??

 **binsual** : okay boys in skirts isn't bad, i thought it was gonna be some kinky shit

 **sungshine** : who knows?  
**sungshine** : maybe minho hyung has a kink for boys in skirts

 **seungmo** : ..i did not need to hear that, nor did i want to

 **leeknow** : no i DONT

 **lixie** : i think we should just leave it at that and let chan hyung see this conversation later

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah good idea  
**hyunjinnie** : he'll probably be proud of how we avoided going too deep into the kink talk

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**leeknow** : i'd say that went pretty well

 **hyunjinnie** : says the one who started the whole thing :/

 **leeknow** : so what? am i not allowed to be proud of my mistakes??

 **sungshine** : yeah yeah whatever hyung

 **leeknow** : but if we could go back to the topic before i accidentally switched gc..  
**leeknow** : why do you never wear them sungie??

 **sungshine** : uuh  
**sungshine** : i guess i'm just scared of what other people are gonna think

 **leeknow** : so if no one was there, then you'd have no problem wearing a skirt?

 **sungshine** : oh yeah i wear them at home all the time ^.^

 **hyunjinnie** : i can't decide if i think you'd look hot or cute in a skirt but probably both

 **sungshine** : ahjsjhsfjh  
**sungshine** : thANKS

 **hyunjinnie** : no problem ;)

 **leeknow** : jinnie stop your suggestive winks, this is a christian gc !!

 **sungshine** : it really isn't though

 **hyunjinnie** : *offended gasp*

 **sungshine** : you're two of the most chaotic flirts i've ever met and this is not a kid friendly gc :/

 **hyunjinnie** : i think you're both chaotic flirts as well

 **leeknow** : admit it  
**leeknow** : we all are

 **sungshine** : yeah you're right ;)

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh sungie is getting bold with the winky face ;)

 **sungshine** : watch it or i just might show up to school in a skirt tomorrow

 **leeknow** : hyunjin would literally pass out  
**leeknow** : or get a boner  
**leeknow** : whichever happens first

 **hyunjinnie** : ahjsahhjAdjhsAH

 **leeknow** : ok but..., did i lie??

 **sungshine** : lmao  
**sungshine** : i love it when you make hyunjin flustered

 **leeknow** : oh i do too ;)

 **hyunjinnie** : AGHJSGA  
**hyunjinnie** : great, now that all of us have winked, can tHIS STOP ???

 **sungshine** : never ;)

 **leeknow** : do you really want it to stop? ;(

 **sungshine** : a winking sad face? that's new

 **leeknow** : originality is my middle name, baby

 **sungshine** : ahsjAdhSkjska

 **hyunjinnie** : now you know what it feels like ;(  
**hyunjinnie** : sungie, it is now our personal mission to make min hyung flustered at least once

 **leeknow** : try me baby ;)

 **sungshine** : oh yeah, i agree hyunjinnie  
**sungshine** : i mean we HAVE TO

 **leeknow** : oh crap crispy hyung is calling my name

 **hyunjinnie** : i guess the flustering will have to wait

 **sungshine** : ...the flustering?

 **hyunjinnie** : yes ;)

 **leeknow** : the amount of winky faces in this chat is impressive  
**leeknow** : oKAY chan just raised his voice, i gotta go

 **hyunjinnie** : i bet it's about the blood you left in the fridge

 **sungshine** : ..i'm not sure i wanna know what that's about

 **leeknow** : trust me, you don't

 **hyunjinnie** : okay just fcking gO, i can't stand the yelling any longer

 **leeknow** : yeah sure baby ;)

 **hyunjinnie** : oh thank fuck  
**hyunjinnie** : i was getting tired of everyone yelling his name every other second

 **sungshine** : i thought it was just crispy hyung?

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah but if there's no response within .5 seconds then everyone else just starts copying crispy hyung  
**hyunjinnie** : and in the end, everyone is yelling one person's name without really knowing why

 **sungshine** : this is just a hunch but isn't it hypocritical of you to be complaining?

 **hyunjinnie** : ...well... i may or may not have done the same thing at least a few times  
**hyunjinnie** : but that's not what this is about!

 **sungshine** : okay sure :/

 **hyunjinnie** : :/

 **sungshine** : but if the yelling gets too much you could just come to my place :)

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh really??

 **sungshine** : yeah  
**sungshine** : and that invitation applies to min hyung too (whever you read this bc i know you're too nosy not to scroll up so hello min hyung!)

 **hyunjinnie** : lmaooo

 **sungshine** : but be prepared...  
**sungshine** : i'm wearing a skirt :)

 **hyunjinnie** : hakajhdgjKDHKAWAJs  
**hyunjinnie** : ...  
**hyunjinnie** : okay :)


	20. purple mentos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning for minor violence and not very descriptive sexual harassment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry :((

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : can you buy purple mentos for me?  
 **sungshine** : please please please

 **christiano** : jisung, where are you?

 **leeknow** : are you okay?

 **hyunjinnie** : guys he's not reading our messages  
**hyunjinnie** : what do we do

 **binsual** : does anyone know where he is?

 **lixie** : all us 00 liners are at the party rn but i don't know where jisung is

 **christiano** : okay i have the address since seungmin sent it to me before  
**christiano** : we're coming to you

 **seungmo** : wait what's going on?

 **christiano** : jisung just said "can you buy purple mentos for me"  
**christiano** : and "can you buy purple mentos for me" is the codeword for when someone is in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation

 **leeknow** : you know, our codeword for sexual harassment and similar things  
**leeknow** : the one we came up with after the incident with felix

 **seungmo** : oh right..

 **leeknow** : also seungmin! you're a telepath  
**leeknow:** you could search for jisung with your powers, it might be quicker

 **lixie** : that's a good idea hyung!

 **seungmo** : i'm trying but there are a lot of people and most of them are drunk  
**seungmo** : all their thoughts are so blurry

 **binsual** : that's okay, just keep trying

 **seungmo** : i will

 **leeknow** : where's the last place any of you saw jisung?

 **hyunjinnie** : like fifteen minutes ago when we were dancing  
**hyunjinnie** : but after that i left him and felix so idk

 **lixie** : i saw some of my friends like five minutes after you left  
**lixie** : i thought jisung was right behind me when i talked to them but he wasn't  
**lixie** : that was maybe ten minutes ago

 **binsual** : chan hyung is driving us there right now, we're coming

 **seungmo** : guys i think i may have found him

 **hyunjinnie** : wHERE

 **seungmo** : the hallway upstairs  
**seungmo** : i saw an image of him in someone else's mind and it looked like upstairs  
**seungmo** : they were fighting

 **lixie** : omw there rn!

 **hyunjinnie** : me too

 **leeknow** : tell us when you get to him

 **hyunjinnie** : ...i may or may not have teleported

 **seungmo** : i'm with lix now, we'll be there in like 10 sec

 **binsual** : hyunjin is he okay? did you find him?

 **leeknow** : ..jinnie isn't reading our messages  
**leeknow** : this doesn't seem good

 **lixie** : hang on

 **binsual** : lix are you there with them now?

 **lixie** : i'll explain in a second  
**lixie** : just gotta

 **leeknow** : guys what's going on?

 **binsual** : ???

 **seungmo** : we're leaving the house with jisung now  
**seungmo** : we'll wait for you on the curb or smth

 **leeknow** : is he okay??

 **lixie** : hyunjin is bleeding and sungie is crying

 **binsual** : five minutes guys, we'll be there in five minutes

 **leeknow** : what happened?

 **lixie** : there was a drunk guy with jisungie and he seemed pissed off for some reason  
**lixie** : when me & seung got there the guy said something offensive to sung & hyunjin and then hyunjin kicked him in the dick

 **hyunjinnie** : like he deserved

 **seungmo** : but then the guy tried to slap hyunjin but he kinda missed so instead he just scratched hyunjin's neck  
**seungmo** : where he's now bleeding

 **lixie** : after that, seungmin shoved the guy really hard so he fell and then we left  
**lixie** : end of storytime

 **binsual** : not to condone violence or anything but you guys did well  
**binsual** : is everyone okay?

 **hyunjinnie** : i asked jisung and he said we will be  
**hyunjinnie** : not right now, but we will be

 **leeknow** : am i allowed to kill the guy?

 **lixie** : hyung you don't even know what he did

 **leeknow** : that's not an answer to my question

 **binsual** : no you should NOT kill anyone  
**binsual** : but i'd also like to know what he did whenever you can tell us

 **sungshine** : hey hyuung

 **leeknow** : sungie!

 **christiano** : babie! how are you??

 **sungshine** : i'm fine now, just a bit upset abt what happened  
**sungshine** : don't worry!

 **binsual** : we're on the right street now

 **seungmo** : okay we're sitting on the curb  
**seungmo** : you should see us

 **leeknow** : it's a bit hard to miss the dramatic waving

 **hyunjinnie** : :)

 **lixie** : okay let's put our phones away now~~

  
__

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**binsual** : sometimes we make fun of how much chan hyung acts like a parent but right now he really looks like jisung's dad

 **leeknow** : here's the thing  
**leeknow** : chan hyung always calls us his children kind of as a joke  
**leeknow** : but whenever anything happens to any of us, he switches to babie and that's when he enters true dad mode

 **lixie** : he's been calling jisung his babie since he picked us up

 **leeknow** : yup

 **seungmo** : where is sungie right now?

 **lixie** : sleeping in chan hyung and changbin hyung's room

 **hyunjinnie** : aww, a little 3racha family ^.^

 **binsual** : ...well those two are asleep over on chan hyung's bed

 **innie** : if chan hyung is the dad and jisung hyung is the babie, what does that make changbin hyung??

 **lixie** : he's jisung's older brother!  
**lixie** : they're the biological family and the rest of us are the adopted kids

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : you've put too much thought into this

 **binsual** : so, leaving that topic..  
**binsual** : did sungie ever say what the guy had done?

 **hyunjinnie** : i think he told chan hyung and maybe minho hyung as well

 **leeknow** : yeah

 **innie** : is he okay? ;-;

 **hyunjinnie** : like jisung said before, he will be okay

 **innie** : oh, good :(  
**innie** : i don't like seeing my hyungs sad

 **binsual** : aww innie!

 **lixie** : that's so sweet!

 **innie** : okay goodnight guys

 **seungmo** : goodnight innie

 **innie** : goodnight seungmin hyung

 **binsual** : wOw, i can't believe i got ignored like that

 **leeknow** : well i can

 **binsual** : ...rude

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**leeknow** : sungie i know you're sleeping right now, but since you'll see this when you wake up...  
 **leeknow** : i hope you're okay, both of you  
 **leeknow** : and i hope what that guy said didn't get to you

 **hyunjinnie** : i missed the worst of it, but being called the f slur by some drunk dude at a college party doesn't really hold any meaning to me  
**hyunjinnie** : besides, i think i kneed him pretty hard.., sooo yeah

 **leeknow** : do you know what happened before you got there?

 **hyunjinnie** : not really, but more than the others  
**hyunjinnie** : it seemed like the guy was trying to "seduce" sungie  
**hyunjinnie** : (seduce is in "" marks because he was doing a shit job at it)

 **leeknow** : yeah i guess that's one way to put it

 **hyunjinnie** : :(  
**hyunjinnie** : sungie i hope you feel better when you wake up tomorrow

 **leeknow** : and we'll all be here for you when you do

 **hyunjinnie** : <3

 **leeknow** : <3

-

_next morning_

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**sungshine** : thank you so so much, i really appreciate you both  
 **sungshine** : and yeah i do feel better  
 **sungshine** : thank you <3 


	21. i have to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter was serious but this is not. The Mess™ is back

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**christiano** : i have to go to australia, right now.

 **lixie** : why??

 **christiano** : i miss berry

 **leeknow** : a very valid reason tbh  
**leeknow** : if soonie dongie & dori didn't live with me i would also make impulse trips to go see them

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah i understand where you're coming from hyung

 **christiano** : well you guys are just as impulsive as i am, if not more  
**christiano** : i figured you'd understand my decision  
**christiano** : please don't burn down the apartment while i'm away

 **binsual** : don't jinx it

 **innie** : this is it  
**innie** : the moment i've been waiting for  
**innie** : ...it's time to turn the apartment into a jungle

 **christiano** : nO you will not do that!  
**christiano** : one of the others will be in charge while i'm gone and make sure nothing bad happens

 **binsual** : don't you need a responsible person for that?

 **christiano** : yes, exactly, which is why i chose  
**christiano** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : oh i'm curious to hear whose name you're gonna say

 **sungshine** : is there even such a person?

 **lixie** : the anticipation is real

 **innie** : seungmin

 **christiano** : oh yeah that's right!  
**christiano** : seungmin is in charge while i'm gone

 **seungmo** : i'm honored and also annoyed

 **christiano** : ok i'll be back in a few days  
**christiano** : try not to make a mess while i'm gone

 **sungshine** : chan everyday that he's around us: "whAt A mESs"  
**sungshine** : i don't know why you think him being gone has anything to do with whether or not we create chaos

 **leeknow** : uuuh, guys...?

 **christiano** : ...why does this feel like the start of another mess?

 **leeknow** : i don't really want to ask since i know i will be attacked for it  
**leeknow** : but has anyone seen dori?

 **lixie** : hyung,, did you lose her again

 **seungmo** : didn't she disappear just a few days ago?

 **hyunjinnie** : no i'm pretty sure that was doongie

 **leeknow** : guys, please

 **sungshine** : i have!

 **binsual** : YOU have seen her?? you don't even live here

 **lixie** : hE DoeSn't evEn gO hERe

 **hyunjinnie** : lmao

 **leeknow** : JISUNG  
**leeknow** : WhERE???

 **sungshine** : she showed up outside my window so i let her into my apartment ^.^

 **leeknow** : oh thank fuck

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : can you please keep an eye on her until i can get there?

 **sungshine** : bold of you to assume i don't plan to kidnap your cat and keep her here forever

 **leeknow** : i will literally kill you if you do

 **sungshine** : bold of you to assume you can

 **leeknow** : prepare to wake up with your skin inverted tomorrow :)

 **sungshine** : sounds fun, let's go!

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : guys i haven't even left the country yet

 **lixie** : tbh i never thought jisungie would be the first person minho hyung would kill

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah same, i always thought it would be changbin hyung

 **binsual** : ...i did nothing

 **sungshine** : yOu BreAtHEd

 **binsual** : what? now i can't even breathe?

 **leeknow** : do you have the luxury of breathing??

 **binsual** : ...

 **christiano** : i already regret this so much

 **innie** : why?  
**innie** : hyung, you should be glad you don't have to witness it anymore

 **christiano** : says the one who was gonna turn the apartment into a jungle

 **innie** : i'm an EARTH WITCH and i am at ONE with nature  
**innie** : i just want to go BACK to my ROOTS :(

 **seungmo** : in a metaphorical or a physical sense?

 **innie** : both

 **seungmo** : ok

 **christiano** : seungmin.., you're supposed to stop him

 **sungshine** : why? it's not like it can't be reversed

 **seungmo** : yeah exactly  
**seungmo** : as long as he makes sure the jungle is gone before you get back, i don't have a problem with it

 **christiano** : ...is this the kind of responsible adult i raised you to be?

 **seungmo** : actually, yes

 **leeknow** : yeah i think that's exactly how you raised us all to be

 **christiano** : good, just had to double check

 **sungshine** : doUblE knOt On mY yEezYs

 **binsual** : HAHAHAHHAHA

 **christiano** : that was uncalled for :/  
**christiano** : i said double check, not double knot

 **sungshine** : minor details

 **binsual** : wow sung your reading comprehension is off the charts

 **sungshine** : :o

 **lixie** : don't you think that lowkey looks like the surprised pikachu meme?  
**lixie** : :o

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yeah it kinda does!

 **leeknow** : i love how this gc has just become the place where everyone puts their random thoughts

 **christiano** : ok i'm leaving the country  
**christiano** : see you in a few days

 **lixie** : bye dad!

 **seungmo** : farewell

 **hyunjinnie** : see you later dad!

 **christiano** : bye kids!


	22. grinding, crying & drinking apple juice

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**seungmo** : felix has been crying over the sims for the past fifteen minutes

 **christiano** : ...do i want to know why

 **seungmo** : he's drunk & upset bc you can only have 8 sims in one household  
**seungmo** : and he wants to make all of us plus a dog, for some reason

 **leeknow** : tell him that it's fine if he leaves me out

 **seungmo** : i've already told him that i'd be happy to be left out but he's not having it  
**seungmo** : he said "i either make all of us or i only make me and changbin"  
**seungmo** : which is a problem bc apparently hyunjin really wants felix to make him in the sims???

 **sungshine** : they made a drunk promise to be best friends in the sims

 **christiano** : wait are you four together right now?

 **seungmo** : yeah but in different places

 **binsual** : ...that's the opposite of being together

 **sungshine** : i'm with jinnie in my apartment & seung is with lixie in your apartment somewhere  
**sungshine** : playing the sims

 **seungmo** : clearly

 **christiano** : ..i have been gone for one (1) day and people are already crying

 **hyunjinnie** : have you evr been crying while grindning on the floorr and drinking aple jouice?

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : no, i can't say i have :/  
**binsual** : have you?

 **sungshine** : he's doing it right now cause we're listening to jus2 and that warrants at least a little bit of grinding

 **hyunjinnie** : nOW fOcuS on mEee

 **leeknow** : and the crying?

 **hyunjinnie** : LFIE is cruel hyuong :''''(

 **sungshine** : that started when he spilled apple juice on the floor  
**sungshine** : apparently he thinks jeongin will be upset with him for that..?

 **innie** : for what?

 **hyunjinnie** : jeonginine!!!!!!!! ilm so sorrry!! :(((  
**hyunjinnie** : the blod of yuor chidlren has been spiltl :(((

 **innie** : ...

 **binsual** : oh right, cause he's an earth witch

 **hyunjinnie** : yea :((((

 **innie** : ...first of all, fruits are not my children  
**innie** : second, apples don't have blood  
**innie** : third, i'm not upset with you hyunjin hyung

 **sungshine** : you should have heard the gasp he just let out

 **lixie** : gays i just had a brkeajlthorugh !!!

 **hyunjinnie** : omg omg omg

 **seungmo** : a breakthrough??

 **lixie** : yesss!  
**lixie** : about te sims!!!  
**lixie** : seungmin spell

 **christiano** : what does he mean by that?

 **seungmo** : he wants me to tell you his idea so that he can focus on playing

 **sungshine** : okay lets hear it!

 **hyunjinnie** : yea lest heer it!

 **binsual** : ...

 **seungmo** : so he's gonna make two different households and split us up  
**seungmo** : hold on, i have to understand wtf he's saying rn

 **christiano** : i'm kind of entertained

 **seungmo** : ooh okay i get it  
**seungmo** : so the first household is chan hyung and jisung as his teen kid, plus a dog named berry  
**seungmo** : then hyunjin & minho hyung also live in that house but they're not related to the chansung family

 **leeknow** : ...i feel like i know why

 **hyunjinnie** : yea u cant flirrt wit your broethrs

 **seungmo** : the other house is felix & changbin hyung, and they also have a kid

 **innie** : i bet it's me

 **seungmo** : yeah it is  
**seungmo** : and apparently i live with you three in that house, and they also have a dog named kkami

 **christiano** : .. that was unnecessarily complicated

 **seungmo** : well his first idea was to make chan and minho into one person but that scared me so i said no

 **binsual** : oof

 **leeknow** : okay but i lowkey agree with that  
**leeknow** : the idea of me and chan as one person is incredibly terrifying

 **sungshine** : hey i wanna know what personality traits he gave us

 **seungmo** : lmao he made minho hyung insane

 **leeknow** : i respect that  
**leeknow** : what else? don't you have like three traits or smth

 **seungmo** : he made you insane, romantic and creative

 **christiano** : well.. at least he didn't go with three negative traits

 **binsual** : it's felix we're talking about  
**binsual** : he's too nice to do that

 **hyunjinnie** : whatd he maek me??

 **seungmo** : clumsy, goofball and romantic

 **hyunjinnie** : :D  
**hyunjinnie** : an sungiie?

 **seungmo** : music lover, creative & goofball

 **innie** : waah he's putting actual thought into this

 **seungmo** : i told him you said that and he said that "the sims is serious biness"  
**seungmo** : probably meant to say business but yeah

 **leeknow** : oh yes, it definitely is

 **binsual** : so what did he make chan hyung?

 **seungmo** : chan hyung is family oriented, foodie & a bro

 **hyunjinnie** : yeaa bro man!

 **binsual** : how is bro a personality trait

 **sungshine** : man.., idk

 **binsual** : but what about the second household

 **seungmo** : he's working on that rn

 **innie** : ooh what personality did he give changbin hyung??

 **seungmo** : athletic, childish & music lover

 **binsual** : ...okay yeah

 **leeknow** : and what did he make himself?

 **seungmo** : apparently felix is outgoing, family oriented & cheerful

 **sungshine** : well i think that's accurate

 **lixie** : :D

 **christiano** : oh so what did he make you then seungmin?

 **seungmo** : i'm a bookworm, ambitious & insane  
**seungmo** : not sure why i'm insane but sure

 **leeknow** : *seungmin voice* DAAA

 **hyunjinnie** : DAAA

 **binsual** : DAA

 **innie** : DA

 **seungmo** : ...ok

 **innie** : wait what am i?? changlix's only and favoritest son??

 **seungmo** : he made you good, clumsy & kleptomaniac

 **christiano** : ...why is innie a kleptomaniac?

 **seungmo** : in felix's own words,  
**seungmo** : "he borrowed a hat from me two months ago and still hasn't returned it"

 **innie** : but i returned it, it's on the top shelf of his closet

 **binsual** : he probably just hasn't seen it there

 **seungmo** : yeah probably

 **hyunjinnie** : waht a woderful family :((

 **christiano** : i can't wait to see what he's gonna do with us in the game  
**christiano** : but please seungmin, make him go to bed or something

 **seungmo** : i can try

 **innie** : just tell him you'll cuddle

 **hyunjinnie** : oh ya that aalways wokrs :))

 **sungshine** : or even better  
**sungshine** : tell him changbin hyung will cuddle with him

 **seungmo** : oh ok!

 **binsual** : i mean... you're not wrong

 **lixie** : HYUNG!!

 **seungmo** : he's running to your room rn hyung

 **innie** : prepare to suffocate in cuddles! :)

 **binsual** : i accept this fate  
**binsual** : enjoy it evensjkrehgfdnka.ahjhHG

 **hyunjinnie** : binnie hyung :o ???

 **christiano** : i bet felix got to him

 **seungmo** : oh he definitely did :)

 **christiano** : well i think this is a great time to say goodnight

 **innie** : teehee

 **christiano** : please go to bed everyone

 **hyunjinnie** : u cant maek me

 **christiano** : i don't wanna hear another word from anyone in this godforsaken group chat until you've rested  
**christiano** : and if you don't sleep i will shapeshift into the biggest bear you've ever seen and crush you under my foot until the only thing you know is ~a g o n y~ in its rawest form  
**christiano** : anyway, sweet dreams, i love you all :) <3

  
__

**sungshine - > leeknow [private chat]**

**sungshine** : i am? scared

 **leeknow** : chan hyung really stepped up his parenting

 **sungshine** : yeah... i guess his parent skill leveled up

 **leeknow** : truly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire chapter is basically felix playing the sims…
> 
> i have no regrets :)


	23. oracle

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : i was today years old when i learned that jisung isn't actually an oracle

 **lixie** : wHAT?¿?

 **leeknow** : i know, i was shocked too

 **seungmo** : but jisung has proven several times that he can see things when they're about to happen

 **binsual** : why would he lie about what his powers are?

 **christiano** : is this true??  
**christiano** : can jisung please come online and explain this

 **sungshine** : guys it's not a lie, i AM an oracle, hyunjin is just phrasing it weirdly

 **hyunjinnie** : oh am i?

 **innie** : ...

 **leeknow** : wow i love how often jeongin is online nowadays

 **innie** : one of the first steps to becoming an influential person in this modern age is establishing a strong online presence  
**innie** : watch out peasants, i'm only getting started

 **lixie** : no offence jeongin but i don't really want you here.., the energy you emit is terrifying

 **innie** : yeah ok that's fair

 **leeknow** : moving on..  
**leeknow** : so jisungie isn't an oracle

 **christiano** : that statement still has me confused

 **sungshine** : have you guys heard about all-rounders?

 **seungmo** : witches that can do multiple types of magic equally well, and can't be labeled since they do more than only one thing?

 **binsual** : yeah i've heard of them  
**binsual** : never met one, though

 **christiano** : wait ji are you an all-rounder??

 **sungshine** : i mean, i still define as an oracle bc that's the power i depend on the most, but yeah  
**sungshine** : technically i'm not just an oracle

 **lixie** : OH i've been confused about you for a while, but it makes sense now!

 **innie** : what does??

 **lixie** : you said a loong while ago that you tried to learn how to teleport when you were younger, but that's not really something oracles do

 **christiano** : oh that's right!

 **seungmo** : but all-rounders can't do e v e r y type of magic, right?

 **sungshine** : nope

 **seungmo** : but they can do more than one?

 **sungshine** : yup

 **innie** : so in theory, if you could do two types of magic equally well, you would still be able to call yourself an all-rounder

 **sungshine** : i mean, technically, yeah  
**sungshine** : not sure if anyone would do that though

 **christiano** : so what can you do?

 **sungshine** : i'm gonna be completely honest here: i don't know

 **binsual** : how do you not know what magic you can do??

 **sungshine** : "how to not know what magic you can do", a guide by han jisung ^.^  
**sungshine** : step one: be han jisung

 **innie** : lol

 **lixie** : aww no

 **christiano** : but how do you know you're an all-rounder then?

 **sungshine** : honestly i'm just as confused as you are  
**sungshine** : but i've never had one type of magic that i've been better at than others, so i could never define myself

 **leeknow** : but now you identify as an oracle?

 **sungshine** : i mean... i tend to say that to people i'm not close with just bc it's easier

 **innie** : aaw now i feel privileged for knowing about this hyung

 **sungshine** : good, you should, cause this isn't something i tell everyone :)  
**sungshine** : but i guess i have some type of cosmic power, shapeshifting, telepathy..., idk

 **christiano** : oh that's cool! what can you shapeshift into?

 **sungshine** : i only have one other form i can shift into and it's an animal ^.^

 **hyunjinnie** : if it's not a squirrel, i will riot

 **sungshine** : lmao  
**sungshine** : prepare to riot then

 **binsual** : ngl, i'm disappointed that it's not a squirrel

 **sungshine** : ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

 **christiano** : what animal is it sung?

 **sungshine** : a wolf

 **lixie** : waah, you're a werewolf !!

 **sungshine** : no! just a regular wolf

 **hyunjinnie** : aoOOOO

 **innie** : hyung have you ever howled at the moon??

 **sungshine** : ...  
**sungshine** : okay i'm gonna be honest, i actually have

 **seungmo** : why

 **sungshine** : i may or may not have been trying to scare some tourists in malaysia

 **binsual** : did it work??

 **sungshine** : yeah lol their screams were hilarious

 **christiano** : isn't "were" latin for man or smth? cause that makes you a werewolf, a "man wolf"

 **sungshine** : i don't think that's how it works :/  
**sungshine** : also i bet you learned that from harry potter

 **christiano** : ...now i feel attacked

 **lixie** : "i came out here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked rn"

 **sungshine** : i came out here to attack people and i'm honestly having such a good time right now

 **hyunjinnie** : sounds like smth minho hyung would say

 **leeknow** : agreed

 **christiano** : yea well if you're done attacking me, i have better things to do

 **seungmo** : such as?

 **christiano** : shapeshifting into a dog so i can play with berry

 **binsual** : very valid

 **innie** : ok bye

 **lixie** : waaait a second  
**lixie** : how did hyunjin and minho hyung know about jisung's powers ?? they started this entire convo

 **seungmo** : he must've told them

 **sungshine** : actually i'm in your apartment rn and they saw me when i made some shit fly (which an oracle isn't supposed to do) so obviously some questions were asked

 **hyunjinnie** : and then we decided to expose him in the gc

 **binsual** : wait, you're in our apartment rn???

 **sungshine** : yes :D

 **lixie** : WAAH i'm coming to invade whatever room you're in now!!

 **christiano** : ...please survive one more day without burning the apartment down  
**christiano** : i get back tomorrow  
**christiano** : please guys

 **innie** : no promises hyung :)

 **christiano** : Big Sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *googles witches because i'm not sure how their powers work*
> 
> also me: *completely ignore everything i read bc it doesn't fit what i want for this story*


	24. the superior gay panic

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**leeknow** : hey did you know we've been friends for over a month now??

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung ive known you for three years

 **leeknow** : bltch,,, i wasn't talking to you

 **sungshine** : bold of you to assume i didn't always know we were going to be friends

 **hyunjinnie** : did you??? with your oracle powers??

 **sungshine** : ahhaha no

 **hyunjinnie** : waait  
**hyunjinnie** : this is random but shouldn't your oracle powers make you really good at flirting with people?

 **sungshine** : doesn't work like that :/  
**sungshine** : i mean, i used to think hyunjin was gonna be my enemy forever

 **leeknow** : ..are you saying you've tried to predict your relationship with hyunjin?

 **hyunjinnie** : wait we were talking about flirting  
**hyunjinnie** : waaait  
**hyunjinnie** : did u.. want us.. to have a relationship???

 **leeknow** : no, he said he tried to predict if you were gonna be enemies, not anything about flirting

 **sungshine** : oh yeah it's not like i'm secretly in love with both of you or anything

 **leeknow** : ...oh?

 **hyunjinnie** : ...i feel like you're lying

 **sungshine** : oh  
**sungshine** : i mean NO what'd you mean why would i lie i don't know what you're talking about ahahhah

leeknow: sungie

 **sungshine** : anyway i gtg bye see you later!

  
__

**excuse me sir that's my emotional support fren [2]**

**sungshine** : lix hELP i have made a mistake!

 **lixie** : i'm here! i'm queer! and i'm filled with fear!

 **sungshine** : ...

 **lixie** : sorry sorry  
**lixie** : what's going on?? is it another gay panic??

 **sungshine** : yeah but it's a pretty fuckin superior gay panic this time

 **lixie** : oh?

 **sungshine** : lix i accidentally strongly implied to minho hyung and hyunjin that i'm in love with them

 **lixie** : OH

 **sungshine** : yeah  
**sungshine** : OH

 **lixie** : sung that's not a bad thing! you've been flirting for a long time! honesty is great

 **sungshine** : and panic inducing

 **lixie** : yeah that too.. but now they know you're kinda serious  
**lixie** : i think you'll be fine if you just go back and talk to them!

 **sungshine** : no can do, sir

 **lixie** : i really think it would be good if you talk to them though  
**lixie** : i mean you've been flirting with them for a while now, i don't think they could reject you

 **sungshine** : nope nope i'm terrified haahhhah what if they hate me  
**sungshine** : what if they never talk to me again

 **lixie** : trust me they don't! but it's okay if you don't wanna go back right now, take a minute to calm down first  
**lixie** : okay?

 **sungshine** : yeah.., but at least i have a plan for what to do next

 **lixie** : okay that's great! let's hear it

 **sungshine** : i'm gonna cry

 **lixie** : ??? and then

 **sungshine** : no that's it, that's the plan  
**sungshine** : i'm gonna cry  
**sungshine** : and then i'll probs die from dehydration after crying for too long  
**sungshine** : can you please speak at my funeral?

 **lixie** : no!

 **sungshine** : ouch..., that hurt :/

 **lixie** : no cause you're not having a funeral!  
**lixie** : we're gonna come up with a better plan and you won't have to cry cause everything will be solved

 **sungshine** : but how  
**sungshine** : my commitment issues are strong and we have about 3 braincells combined

 **lixie** : you have a point

**lixie** has added **changbin** to the group

**sungshine** : great now we're at -3 braincells

 **lixie** : shush

 **changbin** : sorry, what is this?  
**changbin** : wait

 **lixie** : hi, welcome!

 **changbin** : do you two seriously have a gc with just the two of you in it?

 **sungshine** : mayhaps

 **changbin** : why not just use private chat like normal people?

 **lixie** : cause you can't name private chats!

 **changbin** : "excuse me sir that's my emotional support fren"  
**changbin** : was it really necessary to make a gc just to use that name?

 **lixie** : yes! now listen!

 **changbin** : why am i here

 **sungshine** : that's what felix is trying to tell you

 **changbin** : oh  
**changbin** : okay, go on then

 **lixie** : so u see, jisungie needs sum advice about ~luv~

 **sungshine** : way to oversimplify things

 **lixie** : why don't you explain it yourself then :)

 **sungshine** : or i could just leave it and ignore my problems until i die and let all my problems die with me

 **changbin** : hilarious

 **sungshine** : right? i'm so funny!!

 **changbin** : now tell me what's up

 **sungshine** : okaaay, fine  
**sungshine** : so i accidentally told hyunjin & minho hyung that i'm in love with them and then i left before they could respond

 **changbin** : why?

 **sungshine** : it was an accident

 **changbin** : no i meant why did you leave

 **sungshine** : cause i'm terrified of commitment...? is that really a question

 **changbin** : then why don't you tell them that?

 **sungshine** : what

 **lixie** : ooh that's gotta be at least 10 braincells

 **sungshine** : i can't just walk up to them like,  
**sungshine** : "heya, i know we've been flirting n i know i said i like you n shit but turns out i'm having a hard fuckin time committing to anything for a number of reasons so i can't rly go farther than admitting that i like you rn, so sorry abt that"

 **changbin** : well.. that's exactly what i think you should do sungie

 **lixie** : maybe a bit less cussing though

 **changbin** : agreed

 **sungshine** : ...obviously i was just adding it for effect  
**sungshine** : but okay  
**sungshine** : i get what you're saying  
**sungshine** : you think i should be honest  
**sungshine** : sounds scary but ok

 **changbin** : ok? does that mean you're doing it?

 **sungshine** : mayhaps  
**sungshine** : and that's the closest to committing to this plan that i'm gonna get

 **lixie** : great! now that that's over with..

**lixie** has removed **changbin** from the group

**lixie** : can't have him in our emotional support fren chat

 **sungshine** : very true

 **lixie** : so are you gonna talk do them?

 **sungshine** : do i have a choice?

 **lixie** : no, not really

 **sungshine** : well then i guess i have to  
**sungshine** : are they at home rn?

 **lixie** : yupyup

 **sungshine** : great then i'm coming over to your apartment  
**sungshine** : i feel like this should be done in person  
**sungshine** : also if everything goes to shit i can come to your room n cuddle

 **lixie** : yay!! ^.^  
**lixie** : but trust me nothing's gonna go to shit

 **sungshine** : thanks lix <3

 **lixie** : np! <3

 **sungshine** : i'll see you soon


	25. making up

jisung makes sure that felix is the one to open the door when he reaches their apartment.

it's not that he's nervous about facing two certain boys in this household. nope. certainly not. he would just prefer to be welcomed by his best friend, you know? the second sunshine boy, his almost-twin, the light of jisung's life?

yeah, no, that's not it, but the witch lets himself pretend.

when the freckled boy opens the door, he doesn't say anything and simply smiles as he lets jisung step inside.

"they're both in minho hyung's room" felix tells him before he has time to ask. "i think you made them worry by leaving so suddenly."

jisung makes a grimace, but thanks felix for the information nonetheless. the one day younger boy pats his head as a way of telling him good luck, and jisung pushes him away just as felix starts laughing like a crazy person about how _"fluffy your hair is, ohmygosh!"_

the other boy disappears to the living room as jisung shakes his head with a small smile before setting out to do what he came here for.

he doesn't see anyone else as he walks through the short hallway leading to hyunjin's room, but he does hear some loud voices coming from inside chan and changbin's room. he can make out someone yelling about improper spell work, and promptly decides to ignore those people.

the door to hyunjin's room comes into view, and he notices that it's ajar. two soft voices can be heard from the inside, but it's impossible to make out what they're saying given the low volume of speech.

he stops outside and debates if he should knock or simply announce his presence by speaking, but the decision is made for him when minho apparently notices his shadow on the other side of the door.

"felix, if it's you again, then my answer is the same and i'm still not gonna let you dye my eyebrows green", minho says in an exasperated voice, and jisung can't help but laugh despite the situation.

the other two must recognize that it's not felix's laugh, because the room goes silent.

"jisung?" hyunjin's hesitant voice speaks up, and jisung takes a deep breath. now's the time.

he takes another step forward, into their line of view, and pushes the door slightly more open.

"yeah, hi", he greets, feeling rather awkward. he hasn't managed to prepare what he's going to say, especially considering the other two don't even really know what the problem is. all they know is that he said something about maybe being into them both before disappearing.

just as expected, they're more worried than upset with him.

"are you okay?" minho asks and stands up from the bed, stopping in front of jisung as if he's scared that the younger will run away again if he reaches out.

jisung considers the question for a moment.

"i mean, i think i kinda have to explain myself a bit, but yeah, i'm fine", jisung says, and he means it.

minho gives a small smile and holds his hand out for jisung to take, which he does. the older leads him back over to the bed where he and hyunjin had been sitting before he arrived and hyunjin scoots over to give them space to join him.

jisung isn't really sure where to begin. does he start by acknowledging his feelings for them, or explain why he stopped talking to them so suddenly in the group chat? after all, they've been flirting for a while now, all three of them. surely they must be confused by how he disappeared as soon as actual feelings got involved?

"i can see you overthinking everything", hyunjin comments, nudging jisung with his knee.

the younger sighs and decides to just go for it.

"i'm sorry", he starts. it seems like both of the other boys are about to interrupt, so he continues quickly. "wait, don't say anything yet, i have to get this all out or i'm not sure i'll be able to."

he waits until hyunjin and minho nod before moving on.

"so, uh, i kinda ran away from the group chat earlier…? and i think i made you a bit confused and worried, and i mean, we've been flirting for a while now so it's kinda weird that i would run away from that, but…"

jisung struggles to find the right words and looks toward the other two. he meets hyunjin's eyes just as minho puts a hand on his leg, a silent but very much appreciated gesture. it helps calm his nerves a great deal.

"it's okay", minho tells him, and jisung nods gratefully.

he takes another deep breath and then keeps talking.

"anyway. it's not that i don't like you or anything, because i do, but i'm scared of committing to anything right now, and, uuh, i wasn't sure how to tell you that without making it seem like i was rejecting you or something..."

the hand leaves his thigh, and jisung doesn't want to look up at their faces. there are so many things that could be going through their heads right now, not all of which are good. after all, why would they want to waste their time with someone when said person doesn't seem like he's really in for it 100%? maybe they're going to reject him now. jisung would rather not see their faces as they tell him off and settle for just being friends.

a gentle poke at his shoulder has him raising his eyes, anyway.

they're both smiling. jisung takes a moment to realize that they're both smiling, and not only that, but they're both smiling _at him_. he feels inexplicably happy just from that small thing. 

"you like us?" hyunjin says, and jisung can hear his own happiness reflected in the dancer's voice. "you really like us? like, you actually genuinely like us?"

the repeated use of the word 'like' has him slightly confused, but jisung nods slowly in confirmation. hyunjin almost seems relieved at that. jisung allows himself to think that maybe they're not rejecting him right now, allows himself a slice of hope.

"well that's really great, because that's what we were talking about before you got here", minho says as jisung turns his gaze to the oldest. there's a twinkle in his eye. "we like you too, jisungie."

maybe the surprise jisung feels isn't accurately reflected on his face, because minho keeps talking.

"we don't need any labels, or whatever commitment it is you don't want right now", he hurries to add. "but we like you. both of us. and we wanna try to figure it out."

the first thought going through jisung's mind is _"i'm going to tell them soon"_ , but that's the only thing related to the curse that he lets himself think about now. the two boys right in front of him are a bit more important at the moment.

it won't be long until he tells them everything, because he can't go any further than this without letting them now about his own situation, but for now, everything's alright.

a little more than alright, actually. everything's great.


	26. jorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hiihihihi another update
> 
> this time i'm back at it again with the crAcK

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**seungmo** : guys, you're never gonna guess what jisung did today in class

 **christiano** : oh no

 **binsual** : this sounds bad

 **leeknow** : will i have to testify in court?

 **sungshine** : ...  
**sungshine** : you guys have no faith in me

 **binsual** : damn right we don't  
**binsual** : what did he do?

 **seungmo** : first of all, he was about 10 mins late to class

 **innie** : already off to a great start there

 **binsual** : truly

 **seungmo** : and when he walked in, 10 minutes late, he was wearing a horse mask

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : ...i don't know what i was expecting, but that was not it

 **lixie** : please tell me you have pictures !!

 **seungmo** : oh trust me  
**seungmo** : everyone in our class has plenty of pictures

 **hyunjinnie** : in jult language, jisung would be known as the jorse :)

 **christiano** : excuse my language but what the fucking fuck

 **leeknow** : jan jisung the jorse jan, made his first public appearance today :)

 **christiano** : wait, did you two know about this horse mask thing?  
**christiano** : you don't seem surprised

 **leeknow** : who do you think gave him the horse mask?

 **christiano** : ah... i should've known

 **lixie** : oh, so you three made up yesterday?? :D

 **christiano** : w h a t  
**christiano** : i didn't know they had anything to make up in the first place?

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yeah we're good now!

 **leeknow** : fantastic actually ;)

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : slightly bothered by that winky face, but ok

 **innie** : are you guys dating or what?

 **hyunjinnie** : don't be so blunt innie...!  
**hyunjinnie** : and no, we're not dating

 **seungmo** : sounds fake but ok

 **leeknow** : look, we talked it out and admitted that all three of us like each other. the rest is our personal business  
**leeknow** : just know that we're all okay with where we are rn and there's no problem in our relationship :)

 **christiano** : oh wow, you sound so mature

 **lixie** : can't believe we went from talking abt the jorse to a serious update abt hyunminsung

 **seungmo** : well, i can  
**seungmo** : isn't that how most of our conversations go

 **innie** : we switch from crackheads to serious in .1 second

 **christiano** : and then you switch back just as fast

 **lixie** : lmao that's true

 **hyunjinnie** : wait what did the teacher say about jisungie & the jorse??

 **seungmo** : our teacher was too busy laughing to say anything

 **leeknow** : that's what chan hyung would be like as a teacher

 **christiano** : ...i meaan  
**christiano** : can't argue with that

 **lixie** : guys i had a thought

 **seungmo** : oHMYGOSH!!! i'm so proud of you!!!!

 **binsual** : ...

 **lixie** : i'm ignoring you..  
**lixie** : so my thought was that creepers in minecraft are boomers cause they make things go boom  
**lixie** : meaning that when they blow up your house, you say...

 **sungshine** : ok boomer

 **innie** : ok boomer

 **hyunjinnie** : ok boomer

 **lixie** : exactly!

 **christiano** : ...is this telepathy

 **binsual** : i don't think so

 **seungmo** : as a telepath, i can confirm that it is not  
**seungmo** : it's just them being the same amount of dumb

 **hyunjinnie:** guys i have a joke for you :)

 **leeknow** : just one this time, right?

 **hyunjinnie** : ok i actually have a lot more than one

 **christiano** : i will only allow one  
**christiano** : i don't think we can handle any more than that

 **hyunjinnie** : okay okay, so what do you call a fish without an eye??

 **christiano** : ...i don't know

 **hyunjinnie** : A FSH!

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : ...

 **leeknow** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : get it?? because EYE sounds like I !!! so you remove the i in fish, which makes fsh !!!

 **sungshine** : wow.

 **seungmo** : (she's hot)

 **sungshine** : I WILL KICK YOU IN THE SHINS bItch

 **innie** : well that joke was horrible  
**innie** : now i've lost my will to stay in this gc

 **hyunjinnie** : :(

 **lixie** : it wasn't that bad..

 **hyunjinnie** : :o

 **christiano** : thanks, but i've had enough

 **binsual** : the jorse was already a bit weird and now i'm Done™.

 **seungmo** : i always knew hyungline would be the first to go

 **leeknow** : i'm still here??

 **seungmo** : last man standing  
**seungmo** : the only survivor

 **hyunjinnie** : min hyung & ji, do you wanna go to the park with me? :D

 **leeknow** : if you promise there won't be any bad jokes

 **hyunjinnie** : can't promise anything hyung :p

 **leeknow** : ...fine i'll come

 **sungshine** : i'm coming :D

 **seungmo** : ...

 **lixie** : woah i can't believe seungmin hasn't left yet

 **seungmo** : well i'm going out with innie now sooo

 **lixie** : i am not surprised ;)

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : hm.


	27. sungshine has left the group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you seem angry when you're just scared and that's basically what this entire chapter is

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : guys, something happened when hyunjin and i were out

 **christiano** : is it bad? are you okay?

 **leeknow** : yeah we're fine, but i think things could have escalated if we stayed just a bit longer

 **lixie** : what happened??

 **hyunjinnie** : these witches approached us and asked if we had met a malaysian witch boy

 **leeknow** : at first we said no, but then they said his name was han jisung  
**leeknow** : they seemed really mad at him and said they would curse his entire coven if they ever found it

 **christiano** : guys, this is really bad. did they realize he's with us?

 **leeknow** : i don't think so  
**leeknow** : but they said they've been after him for months now and that anyone trying to help him is their enemy just as much as jisung is  
**leeknow** : also the witches were from the red velvet coven

 **binsual** : hOLY SHIT.. they're powerful  
**binsual** : do you know how may people they've killed??

 **christiano** : jisung, did you know about this?

 **sungshine** : yes  
**sungshine** : i'm sorry

 **lixie** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : you knew they were after you??  
**hyunjinnie** : and you never told us??

 **sungshine** : i'm sorry!

 **binsual** : sorry doesn't explain things

 **leeknow** : guys, lay off him a little

 **sungshine** : thanks hyung

 **leeknow** : doesn't mean i'm not worried about this, but we should at least hear you out

 **christiano** : sung, i'm not mad at you  
**christiano** : but could you please tell us how to defend ourselves from them?  
**christiano** : you can tell us about their reason for it later, but now we need to know what to do

 **sungshine** : i can't help you, i'm so sorry

 **binsual** : but you're an oracle

 **innie** : hyung is right, how can you not help us? you can see the future

 **sungshine** : i'm sorry but i just can't

 **seungmo** : guys, you shouldn't be mad at him

 **hyunjinnie** : you're putting us in danger and now you can't even help?  
**hyunjinnie** : do you not care what happens?

 **sungshine** : that's not how i meant it!

 **lixie** : sungie please, you have to help us, red velvet is really powerful  
**lixie** : if we get on their bad side, we're done for

 **christiano** : i don't want to force you to use your powers, but i can't give you a choice this time

 **sungshine** : please stop

 **binsual** : you can't put us in danger and then ask us to stop when we need your help

 **seungmo** : everyone, stop pressuring him!

 **christiano** : i don't want to do it but i can't risk my coven's safety  
**christiano** : jisung, you have to help us here.

 **leeknow** : even if you can't care about what happens to us, shouldn't you at least care about yourself?  
**leeknow** : do you WANT to die?

 **sungshine** : I'M ALREADY DYING

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **sungshine** : okay?  
**sungshine** : i really didn't want to tell you like this but i'm already dying and there's nothing any of you can do to stop it  
**sungshine** : i know exactly why they want to get to me but it doesn't matter, cause i'll probably be dead before they find me anyways  
**sungshine** : that's why i never told you, cause i thought it would never be a problem

 **christiano** : sung...,  
**christiano** : are you for real?

 **sungshine** : i wouldn't lie about something like this  
**sungshine** : and i'm sorry, i should never have started talking to any of you when i knew i was just gonna let you all down in the end  
**sungshine** : i've put all of you in danger and i probably won't even be there to help you  
**sungshine** : i'm really sorry for putting you in danger but i can fix this

 **seungmo** : jisung, don't...

 **sungshine** : i mean, what's a month or two, anyway?

 **seungmo** : Jisung, don't do this.

 **leeknow** : do what?

 **hyunjinnie** : guys, you're scaring me

 **sungshine** : seungmin, you have my permission to tell them everything  
**sungshine** : i would tell them myself but i have something important to do  
**sungshine** : i only have two months left, anyway  
**sungshine** : two months have never made much of a difference

 **seungmo** : Don't go to red velvet! You know they'll kill you!

 **christiano** : JISUNG

 **leeknow:** that's not what we want!!!

 **hyunjinnie** : please stop, don't do that!!!

 **sungshine** : no no i have to, to get them to stop coming after you

 **leeknow** : you really don't!

 **sungshine** : thank you for loving me even when i wasn't honest  
**sungshine** : i'm sorry

**sungshine** has left the group 

**hyunjinnie** : NO

 **innie** : hyung, what's happening?

 **lixie** : why was sungie talking about dying?

 **binsual** : what curse was he walking about??

 **seungmo** : he told me the full story a while ago and made me promise not to tell anyone because he didn't want to make you guys sad  
**seungmo** : but he was accidentally cursed by a witch back when he lived in malaysia  
**seungmo** : that witch was yeri, the maknae of red velvet

 **lixie** : oh...

 **binsual** : seungmin, what was the curse?

 **seungmo** : since she didn't cast it on purpose, neither of them really know  
**seungmo** : the only thing jisung knows is that it would kill him within a year, and in two months from now, a year will have passed  
**seungmo** : he doesn't know what the solution is and he's already accepted that he's going to die

 **christiano** : why is he going to red velvet today?

 **seungmo** : he doesn't want them to keep coming after you guys  
**seungmo** : he's planning to let them kill him today instead of waiting for the curse to take his life in two months

 **christiano** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **leeknow** : but why would they wanna kill him?  
**leeknow** : you said yourself that yeri is the one who cursed jisung, not the other way around, and she didn't even do it on purpose  
**leeknow** : doesn't her members know that?

 **seungmo** : they do, but jisung kind of cursed yeri in return  
**seungmo** : which was also an accident but her coven is still upset about it

 **christiano** : what did he do?

 **seungmo** : he made it so that yeri would lose her powers within a year  
**seungmo** : i guess she's starting to loose her powers now, since her members seem to be mad at jisung

 **hyunjinnie** : mad enough to kill him?

 **seungmo** : yes.

 **lixie** : but that's so wrong! yeri sentenced him to death and all jisung did in return was to make her lose her powers  
**lixie** : it's not even close to the same thing!

 **seungmo** : i know lix, none of this is fair, but we can't keep thinking about how unfair it is  
**seungmo** : we have to stop jisung before something happens

 **christiano** : does anyone know where he is?

 **hyunjinnie** : I CAN USE MY MAGIC TO TRACE HIM!

 **christiano** : ok, do that  
**christiano** : we should go to his apartment

 **hyunjinnie** : i'll teleport everyone there!

 **christiano** : great  
**christiano** : let's meet in the living room

 **lixie** : me & changbin are rushing home rn!

 **binsual** : be there in 2 min

 **christiano** : great  
**christiano** : let's bring our boy back..


	28. russian roulette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, who's gonna get to jisung first? red velvet - trying to kill him, OR stray kids - trying to save him? cue a plot twist  
> lololol jk
> 
> ...or am i?

jisung isn't completely sure how he's supposed to find red velvet. he hopes that by simply wandering around, he'll run into them eventually, since that seems to be how minho and hyunjin met them.

it's for their sake he's doing this. hyunjin, minho, and everyone else. red velvet are after his coven, anyone who's friends with him really, and even though he hasn't officially joined the stray kids coven (commitment issues are a bitch), he doesn't believe red velvet would care about such technicalities. if they find out how close he is with all of stray kids, then it's just like felix said in the group chat: they're done for.

jisung sighs, looking around. he's in a park somewhere pretty close to campus. a little too close for his liking, considering that stray kids' apartment is in this area and he doesn't want them to find him before red velvet does.

he doesn't know where they could be, and he can't very well ask minho and hyunjin where it was they met the other witches earlier.

jisung walks off the trail that goes through the park and moves so that he's partly hidden by a bunch of rather tall bushes, where he then closes his eyes and focuses on bringing out his other form.

the wolf has been growing more and more tired the closer he gets to the one year anniversary of when yeri cursed him. in fact, all of his powers have been getting weaker the closer it gets, but it's been the most obvious when it comes to his shapeshifting powers.

it takes him a lot longer than normal to transform. in a way, jisung thinks it would be accurate to describe it as if he's having an internal battle with the wolf inside him, because the animal really doesn't want to come out.

eventually, he manages to force it, and the familiar sensation of falling overtakes his entire body. when jisung opens his eyes again, his point of view is further down, not as high above the ground as normal.

lucky for him, his wolf shape looks similar enough to a dog that an average person wouldn't be able to tell the difference. to all the people on the street, he's just a dog. the only thing he has to worry about is being recognized as a stray, and standing still long enough for someone to catch him and take him away. jisung really doesn't have time to spend weeks at an animal shelter again. last time was enough.

he walks out through the bushes instead of around them, looking both directions before deciding to head to the left since there seem to be less people there.

well. the only thing left to do is search.

-

jisung almost runs into a brick wall when he sees her.

she's standing in an alley, partly hidden by the very wall jisung just got very close to running straight into, looking completely normal. it's almost as if her best friends aren't out to kill jisung.

when the wolf manages to stop in the opening to the alley she's waiting in, yeri finally notices him, letting out a gasp and pushing herself away from the wall. jisung waits until he's sure that there's no one on the street outside before he shifts back into a human.

"jisung…" yeri whispers, sounding more surprised than anything else. "i've been trying to find you. before my members could, i mean."

"why?" jisung asks. he gets that he probably comes across as rude, but at the same time, he feels like the explanation is more important than how yeri sees him. after all, she's never cared about what her members have been doing before now, at least not as far as jisung is aware. at least he doesn't have to worry about yeri killing him right this moment. despite being the one that cursed him, she's the only member of red velvet that's never been out to kill him. that curse was an accident, and they both know it.

based on the expression on yeri's face, she's not offended by his short tone.

"they're trying to kill you." she says it as if it's completely obvious. and yeah, it kind of is, since that's the reason her older members after him in the first place, but jisung doesn't get why yeri has been trying to beat them to it.

he frowns.

"so? they're upset. and yeah, i think they're overreacting, but why does that mean you had to get to me before they could? you've never tried to stop them before."

yeri pouts.

"i have! kind of... anyway, that's not my point". she shakes her head, then looks him into the eyes with a serious expression on her face. "i can't let them kill you. i also don't want the curse to kill you, but that's a later problem. anyway. they're mad because i'll have to leave their coven once my powers fully disappear."

whatever jisung was expecting when he caught sight of yeri standing in this alley, most likely waiting for him, it wasn't this.

"so..." he tries to find the right words. "you don't want them to kill me. that's great. why don't you, like... i dunno, try telling them that?"

yeri rolls her eyes.

"how much power do you think i have in the group?"

"honestly..." jisung begins.

"rhetorical question", she interrupts, and he closes his mouth again. "anyway, i have a list of all the people that have upset them. all those people are dead now. jisung, you've upset them."

clearly, there's a pattern there, a connection between what yeri is telling him and the fact that the rest of red velvet is upset with him.

"so what do you suggest we do?"

yeri brightens at his question.

"i talked to nayeon unnie about the curse you cast on me, and she found a way to reverse it!" jisung gives her an expectant look at this, and she continues. "basically, all it takes is a simple spell and a little bit of regret from both our sides."

"i think we both have a lot of regret when it comes to these curses", jisung comments, and yeri chuckles.

"i mean, you have a point."

after that, yeri brings her phone out to show him the notes she had taken when nayeon explained the spell to her, and just like yeri said, it's nothing too complicated. just a few sentences to memorize and a bit of magic from jisung's side (since yeri barely has any powers at the moment).

after moving a bit further into the alley so that people out on the street won't be able to see them, they get started.

-

"i can't believe i went out today, thinking i was gonna die", jisung says in a light tone, and yeri smiles at him from the other side of the table.

they're currently sitting together in the mirror cafe, each having a cup of tea on the table between them. not normal tea. this one has restorative elements, meant for you to drink after tiring yourself out by using magic, or in yeri's case, after regaining powers you lost.

it's surprisingly comfortable between them, considering the thing that brought them together was a curse. or, actually, two curses.

yeri is making circle motions with the fingers on her right hand, controlling the spoon in her cup to stir the drink. there's a smile on her face. she then looks up at jisung, her smile faltering slightly as something seems to cross her mind.

"so what are you gonna tell your coven? you didn't tell them you were gonna die, did you?"

jisung isn't sure if the question is meant to express disbelief in his ability to tell someone when he's about to do something stupid and self-sacrificial, or if she's genuinely wondering what he told his friends, but he answers regardless.

"first of all, i'm not technically a member of their coven, but... i may have acted as if it was the last time i ever talked to them and then dramatically left the group chat while they were still confused about what was going on."

yeri gives him a disapproving look, but doesn't say anything about it.

"and what are you gonna do now?" she asks instead, continuing to stir her drink using magic.

he thinks about it.

"i mean, i'm still dying." the spoon in yeri's cup hits the porcelain, making a sharp noise that causes both of them to jump and yeri to flash him an apologetic smile. he doesn't have to ask to know that the mention of his death is what made her lose concentration. "you don't have to be sorry about it, i'm okay. gonna die in two months, but i'm fine. really"

yeri lets her hand drop to her lap, and the spoon stops moving. she meets his gaze.

"you know, i was serious earlier when i said i don't want you to die. and every curse has a cure. i think you should find yours. actually, i think your coven.. or, your almost-coven, is gonna try and find one, whether you want them to or not."

yeri looks away from him, and jisung notices how her eyes seem to be following something behind him. he frowns, and she gives a slight nod in the direction of the door to the cafe. jisung turns around just as it opens.

chan is the first one he sees, and it takes the leader less than two seconds to notice jisung, too. everything after that is a blur of worried voices and hugs and questions.

-

"you know", chan says once jisung and yeri have finished explaining everything that just happened. the rest of the group is also seated around the table meant for two, even though nine people don't really fit and a few of them have to sit on other people's laps, but no one cares. "all of this could have been avoided with a bit of communication and a little less dramatics."

jisung and yeri both make the same grimace before looking each other in surprise. someone laughs at their similar expressions.

"hey, sung", felix says to get jisung's attention, and his near twin turns to him. "i hope this doesn't sound like i blame you for anything, but why didn't you tell us about the curse earlier? and why did you tell seungmin, but not the rest of us?"

"yeah", jisung replies, drawing out the word as he thinks about how to phrase himself. he looks around at all of their faces, seeing that everyone is looking at him, seungmin included. "i just had to talk to someone."

this makes at least three of the others frown.

"but... why him? no offense seungmin", hyunjin adds, giving seungmin a quick look before continuing. "and why couldn't you just tell everyone?"

jisung turns his eyes to the table.

"i needed someone to know the truth in case something happened to me. by the way, i'm really sorry for putting that burden on you, seungmin." he sends seungmin a regretful look, but the other waves him off. he continues. "and the reason i didn't tell everyone is because i didn't want you to spend your time doing something that feels impossible."

"look for a cure", minho says, understanding what jisung means without him having to say it out loud. jisung looks up at minho.

"yeah", he confirms. "and i'm tired of being pitied, or, or... i don't know. i guess people are allowed to feel sad about me being cursed, but after a certain point, it becomes suffocating, even though i know it's just because they care about me."

"that's part of the reason why you left malaysia", seungmin speaks up, and when jisung gives him a surprised look, seungmin scratches his neck. "sorry sung, i didn't mean to do it, but your thoughts were getting kind of loud and i overheard that part. sorry."

"it's okay", jisung says, because it is. "and you're right. part of the reason why i left malaysia is because my family was becoming kind of suffocating when they were worrying about me."

when he looks up at their faces again, there's no pity anywhere. all he sees is determination, and worry, but he supposes that's to be expected in this situation. and best of all, no one looks like they're mad at him for not saying anything earlier.

"not gonna lie", changbin says, "we're gonna worry about you. but, this curse, it doesn't make anything happen until… until in two months."

he's clearly trying to avoid mentioning what's going to happen in two months, even though all of them know exactly what it is, but jisung accepts that.

"i mean, yeah", jisung confirms. "nothing really bad is going to happen until that specific day."

"nothing _really_ bad?" jeongin repeats from where he's sitting on hyunjin's lap, furrowing his brows. that implies bad things might happen before then, even if the worst will be saved for last.

"how does the curse affect you right now?" chan questions. everyone waits for jisung to answer, yeri included.

"i mean, my powers have been kind of spiraling lately", he admits. "and i've been getting sick a lot more often, too. it gets the worse the closer i get to… uh, to the day it's gonna happen."

for the sake of everyone else, he avoids using the word death.

hyunjin, who's sitting right next to jisung, reaches for his hand to interlace their fingers. both of their hands are kind of hidden under the table, so the rest of the group can't see, but jisung gives the other boy a small smile.

"well, i bet most of us still have things we want to say, or questions to ask, but that can wait until later", minho says. then he smiles at jisung. "so, lastly. i hope you understand that we're all going to try and find a cure for you after this, right?"

jisung lets out a breath.

"yeah… i kind of expected that."

surprisingly, he finds that he's not very bothered by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> four updates in two days? it's more likely than you think
> 
> ALSO! jisung and yeri are friends, and have been for a while. they're not very close but they were never actually enemies, as both of their curses were accidents caused by their small fight in malaysia, and the fight wasn't actually that deep  
> 


	29. sungshine is back!

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** has added **sungshine** to the group

**christiano** : deja vu

 **lixie** : lol what? why?

 **christiano** : you're the one who added him here the first time as well

 **lixie** : ooh that's right

 **christiano** : but also  
**christiano** : jisung!!

 **sungshine** : hi hyung!

 **christiano** : nO! that was an angry "jisung!!"

 **sungshine** : ...oops?

 **leeknow** : wow, i can't wait to witness this

 **christiano** : i didn't say this earlier because i was too busy being happy that you're okay  
**christiano** : but wHY would you go to red velvet??? do you have ANY idea how many people have died by their hands??? hint: A LOT of people..!!

 **sungshine** : well peace to them but i'm different

 **lixie** : lmao

 **hyunjinnie** : really though

 **christiano** : that was very irresponsible of you.  
**christiano** : honestly, i'm just glad you're okay

 **leeknow** : ...that's it?!

 **christiano** : yeah? why, did you want me to go hard on the scolding or something??

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yes he definitely wanted that

 **christiano** : why???

 **sungshine** : just ignore minho hyung, he enjoys watching people in misery  
**sungshine** : but i'm okay channie hyung! everything's fine! we're good!

 **christiano** : sung... i thought we talked about this

 **binsual** : about what?

 **christiano** : him saying everything's fine regardless of whether things are fine or not

 **sungshine** : okay...  
**sungshine** : ...things are not fine at the moment, but it will get better since i'm being honest about shit now..?

 **binsual** : good job

 **christiano** : that's better

 **leeknow** : yeah, and we're all glad you're being honest now  
**leeknow** : people can't help you when they don't know you need help

 **sungshine** : :(

 **leeknow** : i can feel your pout in my sOUL

 **hyunjinnie** : same :'((  
**hyunjinnie** : i hAVE TO GO TO JISUNGIE's APARTMENT right now!!

 **seungmo** : w h y

 **hyunjinnie** : gotta cuddle my baby :((

 **leeknow** : can i come too

 **sungshine** : ...i didn't invite either of you, but sure :))  
**sungshine** : wait i have something to say to you

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**sungshine** : heey guys  
 **sungshine** : sooo...  
 **sungshine** : in light of recent events...

 **hyunjinnie** : let me stop you right there

 **sungshine** : ???

 **leeknow** : yeah he's right  
**leeknow** : you're probably gonna say something depressing about how we should just ignore that we all like each other just because of something that MIGht happen two months from now

 **hyunjinnie** : and we're not about to do that

 **sungshine** : wait  
**sungshine** : what are you saying..?

 **hyunjinnie** : that we're not gonna ignore our feelings for each other just bc of your curse

 **leeknow** : we still don't have to put any labels on anything if you're still uncomfortable with it, but i'm not gonna ignore my feelings for you both just because of this

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm not gonna do that either

 **sungshine** : oh  
**sungshine** : uhh,,, okay

 **leeknow** : okay? what does that mean??

 **hyunjinnie** : OK  
/əʊˈkeɪ/  
INFORMAL  
_exclamation_  
exclamation: **okay**  
1\. used to express agreement or acceptance.

 **sungshine** : what the fuck hyunjin

 **hyunjinnie** : what?? he asked what okay meant!

 **leeknow** : ...you know that's not what i meant  
**leeknow** : but anyway  
**leeknow** : JISUNG

 **sungshine** : OMG okay!  
**sungshine** : here's how it is

 **hyunjinnie** : yes please tell us

 **sungshine** : i still don't rly want any labels... sorry

 **leeknow** : that's okay!

 **sungshine** : just because i wanna see what happens first.., i guess it feels more serious if we're boyfriends or smth... and in case we can't find a cure...  
**sungshine** : i guess i'm just a bit scared of hurting you

 **hyunjinnie** : sungie.. we know

 **leeknow** : we need to stay hopeful, all of us are looking for a cure and we'll hopefully find one in time  
**leeknow** : i don't wanna get too depressing rn but we both know what we're in for, we're aware of your situation

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung's right  
**hyunjinnie** : us being boyfriends won't affect how we feel about what will happen if we don't find a curse

 **sungshine** : a cURSE ?!?

 **hyunjinnie** : I MEANT A CURE !!!

 **leeknow** : lol

 **hyunjinnie** : we know about your curse, and we're still here, right?

 **sungshine** : clearly

 **hyunjinnie** : ...not the response i wanted but ok :/

 **leeknow:** okay, can we do it like this:  
**leeknow** : we'll stay away from labels until we're sure that you're gonna survive  
**leeknow** : once we're sure of that, we'll be boyfriends

 **sungshine** : oh,,, yeah that sounds good

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah i'm down ;)

 **leeknow** : literally nothing has to gonna change between us, labels or not

 **hyunjinnie** : ...nothing? :o

 **leeknow** : except we could be kissing each other  
**leeknow** : among other things ;)

 **hyunjinnie** : wAIT sung are you okay with kissing?? we don't have to be boyfriends to kiss

 **sungshine** : i love how we're discussing boundaries through a group chat of all things  
**sungshine** : but actually,,, i don't mind kissing

 **leeknow** : well we're on our way to your apartment for cuddles rn so we can talk more about this in person

 **sungshine** : sounds good!

 **leeknow** : also i love how everyone just ignores it when someone sends suggestive winks or makes suggestive comments

 **sungshine** : someone = you

 **leeknow** : yes

 **hyunjinnie** : lmao we're used to it by now

 **leeknow** : oh trust me, you're about to be ;)

  
__

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** : ... did he just say he had something to tell them and then disappear?

 **binsual** : seems like it

 **christiano** : no i think they went to their private group chat

 **lixie** : ooh that makes sense  
**lixie** : i thought he just said he had smth to say and then disappeared

 **seungmo** : okay but... that's something jisung would actually do

 **binsual** : now that i think about it...

 **christiano** : yeah he would

 **lixie** : lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next 5-6 chapters are pretty much crack… like, the curse will be addressed but they're a lot more light-hearted than the recent ones have been :))
> 
> also i'm updating daily rn since i have a lot of chapters written!!


	30. egg

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : felix, how do you like your eggs?

 **lixie** : i like to swallow them whole  
**lixie** : you know, like a snake would

 **christiano** : ...

 **seungmo** : glad to see nothing has changed here

 **innie** : they're still the same old crackheads

 **leeknow** : i'm pretty sure they planned that response though

 **lixie** : ..mayhaps we did

 **christiano** : you know, sometimes i worry about you

 **lixie** : :)

 **christiano** : for good reason

 **leeknow** : please don't actually swallow an egg  
**leeknow** : i know you're not that stupid, but i also know you like to do stupid shit for fun

 **binsual** : hyung has a point

 **sungshine** : don't worry, none of us would actually do that :)

 **hyunjinnie** : i would

 **sungshine** : okay, none of us except hyunjin would do that :)

 **christiano** : well that's worrying  
**christiano** : from now on, hyunjin isn't allowed to eat eggs unless anyone is with him

 **leeknow** : ooh i can be with him!

 **christiano** : nO..!!

 **binsual** : we all know you would just encourage him to do it if you were there :/

 **leeknow** : ...you know me too well

 **sungshine** : i can be with hyunjin when he swallows an egg!

 **christiano** : NO that's not what we MEANT....!!!!  
**christiano** : sigh

 **binsual** : i guess hyunjin is just not allowed to eat eggs anymore

 **lixie** : guys i just came to a realization

 **seungmo** : ...do i want to know what it is

 **hyunjinnie** : what is it lix??

 **lixie** : parents are like bananas

 **binsual** : wtf

 **lixie** : they have this nice shell - a house, career, family - but there's actually nothing interesting inside

 **hyunjinnie** : what are you talking about? i love bananas

 **leeknow** : bananas are really interesting

 **christiano** : okay,,,  
**christiano** : this is weird enough already, let's stop while we can

 **seungmo** : well my innocence has already evaporated

 **lixie** : i'm having a good time :)

 **sungshine** : goose goose  
**sungshine** : OH i actually have something to show you!!

 **christiano** : sure sung, what is it?

_ sungshine has sent 1 image _

**sungshine** : guys look at my new pet! :D  
**sungshine** : i found her on the street, isn't she cute?? ^o^

 **lixie** : what the...?

 **christiano** : what is that thing

 **sungshine** : r u d e  
**sungshine** : that's my new cat!

 **seungmo** : i think they're just not used to seeing cats with 8 legs

 **binsual** : i'm not sure what your idea of a cat is, but that's not it :/

 **sungshine** : again, r u d e  
**sungshine** : that's actually a cat who used to be someone's familiar, but that witch abused the poor babie and put her through a bunch of horrible experiments :(  
**sungshine** : hence the abundance of legs

 **leeknow** : oH NO THAT'S AWFUL..!

 **hyunjinnie** : please give her lots of cuddles from me!

 **lixie** : omg noo :'((((

 **innie** : hyung does she have a name?? ^o^

 **sungshine** : yeah her name is mia!

 **leeknow** : aww i love her already  
**leeknow** : can i meet her

 **sungshine** : she's still getting used to her new life, but sure! in a few days or something!

 **hyunjinnie** : should've known the way to minho hyung's heart was through a cat

 **lixie** : boiii... we been knew

 **sungshine** : well i'm gonna diss y'all to hang out with mia now,, bye! :D

 **seungmo** : y'all

 **hyunjinnie** : y'ALL

 **leeknow** : ..what fuckin korean says "Y'aLl"

 **binsual** : clearly this guy does

 **lixie** : ahjskjf...,,  
**lixie** : the absolute clownery™

 **christiano** : i'm p sure sung already left so there's not really a reason to clown him

 **leeknow** : ok bye then

 **christiano** : ...what

 **hyunjinnie** : if jisung isn't here, i have no reason to be :/

 **leeknow** : same

 **seungmo** : wow,, ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, mia the cat is named after stray kids' song m.i.a :))


	31. a normal conversation

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : hey guys :)

 **hyunjinnie** : we're just stopping by to let you know that jisung has overcome his fear of teleporting

 **sungshine** : i most definitely have NOT  
**sungshine** : that right there was the closest i've ever been to heart attack

 **leeknow** : ...wanna do it again?

 **sungshine** : ...obviously, yeah

 **christiano** : please don't actually have a heart attack

 **hyunjinnie** : hyung, i don't think he can decide whether he has one or not

 **christiano** : i guess...

 **leeknow** : so we've come to the decision that we're gonna have hyunjin teleport us everywhere from now on! :)  
**leeknow** : call our names and we'll appear right behind you in one second :))

 **christiano** : ...are you insane or just unbelievably annoying

 **leeknow** : probably both tbh

 **hyunjinnie** : wait who decided that

 **sungshine** : hyung decided it on his own

 **hyunjinnie** : ok i don't support that decision

 **sungshine** : not me either

 **leeknow** : :(

 **hyunjinnie** : hA your pout doesn't work through texts!!

 **leeknow** : but blackmail does :)

 **hyunjinnie** : ...oh no  
**hyunjinnie** : i no longer want to be here  
**hyunjinnie** : you have too much blackmail on me

 **sungshine** : unironically same

 **leeknow** : :))

 **christiano** : i think i should change the topic before anyone gets murdered  
**christiano** : so how's everyone doing today?

 **leeknow** : no, boring question  
**leeknow** : everyone share a random fun fact instead

 **sungshine** : water isn't wet

 **lixie** : wbk

 **seungmo** : yeah, tell us something we don't know

 **christiano** : ...

 **binsual** : excuse me but how the fuck is water not wet

 **christiano** : i don't even wanna get involved in this

 **sungshine** : water on its own isn't wet but it makes other materials wet by sticking to the surface of them  
**sungshine** : that's why water isn't wet :) at least not on its own

 **lixie** : yeah just ask science ^-^

 **christiano** : ...

 **leeknow** : outstanding!  
**leeknow** : anyone else?

 **seungmo** : your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks, otherwise it would digest itself

 **binsual** : ...this is lowkey interesting

 **hyunjinnie** : is that true? :o

 **seungmo** : yup  
**seungmo** : trust me, i've got the braincells

 **lixie** : i trust no one but our lord and savior bang chan, aka CHRISt bang, with the mighty braincells, amen

 **hyunjinnie** : ooh are we starting another cult? :D

 **binsual** : cULT??

 **christiano** : aNOTHER???

 **leeknow** : sTARTING???

 **hyunjinnie** : ...  
**hyunjinnie** : not sure who of you three i should answer first

 **leeknow** : i thought the jult was already a thing :/

 **lixie** : oh it is!

 **seungmo** : according to wikihow, you only need 3 peeps to start a religion

 **hyunjinnie** : woow! that means the jult is an actual religion! :o

 **christiano** : don't trust the internet

 **hyunjinnie** : why not?  
**hyunjinnie** : the internet is always right!

 **sungshine** : the internet says hyunjin has a foot fetish

 **hyunjinnie** : gajhGASDASJ.. ....

 **seungmo** : literally. why

 **hyunjinnie** : no i don't! that's not true!!!

 **sungshine** : didn't you just say the internet is always right??

 **hyunjinnie** : ...yes

 **sungshine** : are you completely sure that no place on the entire internet says you have a foot fetish??  
**sungshine** : no  
**sungshine** : therefore, it is true :)

 **leeknow** : lmao

 **hyunjinnie** : argh hajSGHKG

 **christiano** : ok i feel like i should stop this..  
**christiano** : so what's everyone doing today? :)  
**christiano** : and minho, if you say that's a boring question i will kick you from this group

 **leeknow** : ...i wasn't going to

 **christiano:** good. :)

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm going with seungmin & jeongin to the library!

 **binsual** : huh, i didn't know you could read

 **hyunjinnie** : JKASDHFSGJ  
**hyunjinnie** : is this attack hyunjin day or something???

 **leeknow** : no, that's next week :)

 **hyunjinnie** : ...

 **christiano** : cool! are you going there to study?

 **seungmo** : no, we're gonna read about curses

 **lixie** : oh that's good!  
**lixie** : me and changbin hyung are going to the mirror cafe

 **binsual** : wooyoung works there and he said he could introduce us to the owner cause apparently he knows a lot about spells

 **christiano** : that's good! let us know if you learn anything

 **innie** : wow  
**innie** : i'm almost shocked by how normal this conversation is..

 **leeknow** : from a human perspective? no

 **hyunjinnie** : but from a witch perspective? yeah!

 **christiano** : well, i hope everyone has a good afternoon  
**christiano** : by the way, did sungie leave? he hasn't said anythng since i changed the subject

 **sungshine** : nope still here

 **leeknow** : ji do you wanna hang out???  
**leeknow** : i want cuddles but hyunjin is going to the library :(

 **hyunjinnie** : foR GOOD REASON!

 **leeknow** : yeah yeah whatever  
**leeknow** : but do you???

 **sungshine** : yeah sure

 **leeknow** : ok i'm speeding over to your apartment rn!

 **christiano** : i'm gonna call some of my other witch friends  
**christiano** : bye everyone!

 **lixie** : HAVE A NICE DAY ^-^


	32. just best friend things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jilix back at it again, being the most chaotic witches on the planet

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : saying no is ok

 **lixie** : canceling plans is ok

 **sungshine** : burning your food is ok

 **lixie** : replacing all the food in the fridge with slime is ok

 **sungshine** : living off of instant noodles and snack bars is ok

 **lixie** : accidentally poisoning your best friend when you're just trying to make slime is ok

 **sungshine** : putting slime in your best friends noodles as revenge is okay

 **lixie** : consuming said slime bc you didn't notice it was in there is ok

 **sungshine** : having to go to the hospital because one of you is poisoned and the other just ingested slime is ok

 **binsual** : ...what did you two DO ???

 **leeknow** : personally i think it's quite obvious what they've done

 **christiano** : if i go to the fridge right now, please don't tell me i'll find it filled with slime

 **hyunjinnie** : is that really your main concern right now

 **lixie** : ok hyung! we won't tell you that

 **christiano** : w a i t...  
**christiano** : are you two at the hospital????

 **sungshine** : i thought that was obvious already

 **lixie** : i mean, we literally just said so

 **christiano** : are you both oKAY????

 **sungshine** : sure hyung!  
**sungshine** : i've had a great time  
**sungshine** : it wasn't this time...  
**sungshine** : but i've had a great time! another time

 **seungmo** : so basically you're saying that you did not have a great time today

 **sungshine** : correct!

 **lixie** : the worst part of all this is that i'm still hungry :(  
**lixie** : watch out jisung or i might eat you ^-^

 **leeknow** : there are lots of reasons to become a cannibal, but this is not one of them

 **binsual** : ...i'm not sure i want to know what you mean when you say "lots of reasons"

 **leeknow** : for the sake of your sanity, i think it's for the best if you just ignore that part

 **binsual** : will do

 **christiano** : ...there must be something wrong with me for not having left this group yet

 **seungmo** : oh yeah there's definitely something wrong with you  
**seungmo** : but it's the same thing that's wrong with all of us

 **hyunjinnie** : ...i thought you people would be more worried about the idiot twins  
**hyunjinnie** : since, yknow, they're at the freaking hOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.!.!.!.!

 **leeknow** : hmm.. u have a point

 **christiano** : guys what hospital are you at??

 **lixie** : not sure! :D

 **sungshine** : hang on i'm checking the snapchat map!

 **binsual** : ...you're supposed to know these things

 **leeknow** : nah, they're good

 **sungshine** : ok i didn't find out anything  
**sungshine** : but it's the one closest to your apartment!

 **christiano** : i'm coming

 **lixie** : we'll be out of here soon hyung  
**lixie** : you don't have to worry! :p

 **seungmo** : both of you are WAY too cheerful considering the situation..

 **innie** : maybe the poison is affecting their brains

 **leeknow** : how would we notice if it did?

 **innie** : maybe weird behavior? idk

 **leeknow** : well that's not helpful  
**leeknow** : their behavior is weird all the time

 **christiano** : when i woke up today, this is not how i expected my day would go

 **sungshine** : to be fair, we didn't expect it either

 **lixie** : i mean...  
**lixie** : if someone had told me i would end the day in the hospital after eating slime, i wouldn't be surprised tbh

 **sungshine** : a point has been made

 **hyunjinnie** : good news guys! :D

 **innie** : what?

 **hyunjinnie** : i just teleported to the hospital and found their nurse

 **lixie** : oh yeah she's a witch!

 **hyunjinnie** : yes!  
**hyunjinnie** : and she said you can leave soon

 **sungshine** : just have to wait for the blood test to finish so they know there's no poison left! :)

 **seungmo** : hang on, how did you even poison each other in the first place?

 **lixie** : we were making slime! :D

 **innie** : with what??

 **sungshine** : oh you know, just your typical slime ingredients

 **christiano** : ...i don't think i want to know what kind of slime that was

 **lixie** : oh by the way  
**lixie** : i asked the nurse how to cure a deadly curse!

 **sungshine** : ...oh

 **lixie** : she didn't say anything i didn't already know, but from everything we've read/learned the past week i think opposites are important

 **seungmo** : i think so too

 **christiano** : yeah, makes sense

 **hyunjinnie** : when you say opposites  
**hyunjinnie** : what does that mean specifically?

 **sungshine** : for example, the curse was cast out of anger so to cure it, you'd need the opposite of anger

 **leeknow** : ooh okay

 **hyunjinnie** : i don't understand but it makes sense!

 **lixie** : cool! we're leaving the hospital now!

 **hyunjinnie** : wAIT i'm still here!

 **sungshine** : tough luck ^-^

 **lixie** : we're still in the parking lot, just come find us

 **sungshine** : and just so you know, i'm NOT teleporting home..!

 **christiano** : me & changbin will be there in like a minute  
**christiano** : changbin is driving rn so that's why he's not saying anything

 **lixie** : oh ok thanks hyung! :D

 **seungmo** : ...the amount of smiley faces in this conversation is alarming

 **innie** : ...yeah, considering the fact that they just poisoned each other

 **seungmo** : literally

 **sungshine** : don't worry we're good now ^-^

 **lixie** : it's all good now ^-^

 **hyunjinnie** : oh hyungs are here with the car now!

 **leeknow** : well then...

 **innie** : don't do anything dumb in the car hyungs

 **lixie** : no promises ^-^

 **christiano** : we'll make sure they behave

 **hyunjinnie** : i think they're both kinda high on medication rn

 **sungshine** : teehee HIGH HIGH! :D

 **christiano** : yup  
**christiano** : i think so too

 **binsual** : they're getting in the car right now

 **sungshine** : into the DEATH TRAP :O going to the apartment!

 **leeknow** : ...i'll see you soon?

 **seungmo** : well this has been weird

 **lixie** : naah  
**lixie** : just best friend things ^.^


	33. moviestarplanet

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**hyunjinnie** : can someone entertain me pls

 **christiano** : aren't you in class right now?

 **hyunjinnie** : omg you know my schedule??

 **lixie** : never underestimate chan hyung, aka god

 **christiano** : felix, you're in class too.

 **lixie** : ...ooOPS  
**lixie** : gOTTA BLAST!

 **hyunjin** : well technically i'm not in class right now :)

 **christiano** : huh?

 **lixie** : he got kicked out for playing moviestarplanet in class!

 **christiano** : fELIX...!

 **lixie** : k i'm leaving!!

 **christiano** : what is this  
**christiano** : all of you are supposed to be in class right now? :/

 **lixie** : well, technically hyunjin got himself kicked out

 **sungshine** : seungmin got kicked out too!

 **christiano** : from the same lesson???  
**christiano** : wait, jisung. you're in class too.

 **sungshine** : ...oops?

 **christiano** : just go.

 **sungshine** : yessir!

 **seungmo** : i got kicked out from a music class  
**seungmo** : jisung knows because we're in that class together

 **hyunjinnie** : and i had dance with felix!  
**hyunjinnie** : that's how he knew i got kicked out!

 **christiano** : seungmin, why did you get kicked out?

 **seungmo** : i may have argued a bit with the teacher

 **sungshine** : he called her boomer!!!!

 **christiano** : Jisung.

 **sungshine** : oh shit, capital J  
**sungshine** : forgive me father for i have sinned, i'm leaving for real now!

 **christiano** : ...

 **lixie** : lmao

 **christiano** : Felix.

 **lixie** : oh CRAP ok i'm going please don't kill me...!

 **christiano** : at least two of you aren't on your phones right now...

 **binsual** : guess who just got kicked out from his lecture! :)

 **christiano** : oh no  
**christiano** : not you too

 **binsual** : nope, it wasn't me :)

 **leeknow** : hi there my dear "friends", it's a "pleasure" to be here :)

 **christiano** : ...those quotation marks are slightly offensive  
**christiano** : but changbin, if you didn't get kicked out, doesn't that mean you're still in the lecture?

 **binsual** : ...yes

 **christiano** : changbin.

 **binsual** : ok i'm leaving!

 **hyunjinnie** : minho hyung, seungmin, do you wanna play moviestarplanet with me? :D  
**hyunjinnie** : since none of us are in class right now!

 **seungmo** : oh yeah sure

 **leeknow** : k

 **christiano** : ...are we just not gonna acknowledge that you all disrupted your classes so much that you got kicked out?  
**christiano** : and all three at the same time??

 **leeknow** : no, we're not

 **christiano** : i mean, i can't say i'm surprised  
**christiano** : a bit disappointed, sure, but not surprised

 **leeknow** : ugh that's a dead meme

 **christiano** : ...? i wasn't talking about the meme  
**christiano** : wait  
**christiano** : hyunjin, you were playing moviestarplanet in a dance class???

 **hyunjinnie** : happens to the best of us :/

 **christiano** : i don't think that's quite right..

 **hyunjinnie** : well it happened already so get over it!  
**hyunjinnie** : and now i'm gonna keep playing bc i no longer have a class to worry about! :)

 **christiano** : ...you know, you could use your free time in a more productive way

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm not gonna study!

 **christiano** : not what i was going to say

 **hyunjinnie** : oh?

 **christiano** : you could research

 **leeknow** : isn't that just a fancy word for studying?

 **hyunjinnie** : i think it is :/

 **christiano** : ...i meant research curses  
**christiano** : and more specifically, research how to cure a curse

 **leeknow** : oh

 **hyunjinnie** : OH!

 **christiano** : you want to help your boyfriend, don't you?

 **leeknow** : not our boyfriend yet

 **hyunjinnie** : not our boyfriend yet

 **seungmo** : ...  
**seungmo** : you both sent that at the same time

 **christiano** : seungmin, you could help too

 **seungmo** : ...wait  
**seungmo** : i think my teacher is calling me

 **christiano** : she's letting you go back into class??  
**christiano** : that's good i guess

 **hyunjinnie** : ok we will go research!!

 **leeknow** : hyunjin has made a powerpoint of everything we've learned so far  
**leeknow** : five of the slides are just pictures of jisung

 **hyunjinnie** : the people need to know!

 **christiano** : need to know what??

 **hyunjinnie** : how cute he is!! :'((

 **christiano** : ok go work on your powerpoint then

 **leeknow** : no, please don't associate me with his powerpoint  
**leeknow** : i don't even want to be in the same sentence as that thing

 **hyunjinnie** : r u d e !

 **christiano** : sigh  
**christiano** : just go read about curses  
**christiano** : get out of here

 **leeknow** : gladly!

 **hyunjinnie** : sure thing hyung!

 **christiano** : ...why did i adopt these children? :/  
**christiano** : my stress? high  
**christiano** : my bank account? empty  
**christiano** : my sleep schedule? non-existent  
**christiano** : but sadly, i still love them :/


	34. bully changbin day

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : before anyone can say otherwise, i would like to publicly announce that i consider myself a rather calm and collected person

 **binsual** : ... you threw a chair at me not even five minutes ago

 **leeknow** : yes  
**leeknow** : which was a lot calmer & more collected than the table i originally planned on hitting you with repeatedly

 **binsual** : ..i feel threatened  
**binsual** : someone save me

 **seungmo** : i would help you, but who am i to play god?

 **hyunjinnie** : don't lie, you wouldn't help him :/

 **seungmo** : yeah,, you're right

 **binsual** : what is this? national bully changbin day??

 **innie** : noo! that's like having a "national breathing day"  
**innie** : we do it everyday, why would we make it a holiday???

 **christiano** : okay but what made minho throw a chair at him in the first place?

 **leeknow** : i had loads of reasons

 **christiano** : ok but what was the main one?

 **leeknow** : strap yourselves in  
**leeknow** : today i learned something shocking about changbin

 **sungshine** : ooh what was it? :o

 **leeknow** : this just in, changbin doesn't know how to make toast

 **christiano** : he didn't even know how to crack an egg when i met him,,  
**christiano** : i can't say i'm surprised

 **seungmo** : it's fucking TOAST how hard can it be??

 **christiano** : ..what did i tell you about swearing?

 **seungmo** : ...to stop doing it

 **christiano** : yes  
**christiano** : you and the rest of maknae line :)

 **sungshine** : oh wow this really tickles my fiddle

 **binsual** : ...

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah, it sure does :/

 **lixie** : one could also say it rattles my riddle :)

 **binsual** : ..please just say fuck

 **hyunjinnie** : this truly dangles my diddle

 **innie** : what the fuck guys

 **christiano** : ...  
**christiano** : you know, i can't even be mad that you swore, because you're absolutely right  
**christiano** : What The Fuck

 **lixie** : well,, we weren't allowed to swear...

 **sungshine** : we did the best we could given the circumstances!

 **leeknow** : somehow, i don't think that's it

 **binsual** : this can't be healthy  
**binsual** : i'm just gonna mute this chat and leave  
**binsual** : bye you unruly little shits

 **seungmo** : LIFE isn't healthy

 **christiano** : nothing is healthy

 **lixie** : health isn't real

 **leeknow** : ...what great conclusions we've come to here

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**hyunjinnie** : guys, i've come to a realization...

 **leeknow** : what is it

 **hyunjinnie** : our relationship isn't healthy!

 **leeknow** : wtf??

 **sungshine** : what do you mean jinnie? :o

 **hyunjinnie** : i mean,,  
**hyunjinnie** : we literally started a jisung cult

 **leeknow** : oh yes, the jult

 **hyunjinnie** : like,,, i'm pretty sure that's not how healthy relationships work :/

 **sungshine** : oh i thought you actually had a serious realization  
**sungshine** : but it's just this

 **hyunjinnie** : hey! this is serious!

 **leeknow** : it really isn't

 **hyunjinnie** : :/

 **sungshine** : and minho hyung is having body conversations with changbin hyung

 **leeknow** : What The Fuck Jisung ???

 **hyunjinnie** : AHHAHAH  
**hyunjinnie** : i have no idea what that means but it's funny anyway

 **sungshine** : that's not healthy either :/

 **leeknow** : ok i'm sorry but body conversation?? did you mean: fight??

 **sungshine** : is that not what i just said

 **leeknow** : it really isn't

 **sungshine** : :/

 **hyunjinnie** : hilarious  
**hyunjinnie** : peak comedy  
**hyunjinnie** : 10/10 would recommend

 **leeknow** : i wouldn't

 **hyunjinnie** : :/

 **sungshine** : :/  
**sungshine** : well i guess that's it then  
**sungshine** : have a good day to everyone here but minho hyung :)

 **hyunjinnie** : but there' only 3 of us in this chat?

 **sungshine** : to everyone but minho hyung! :)

 **leeknow** : ...

 **sungshine** : bye lovely people + minho hyung! :)

 **hyunjinnie** : bye sungie! :D

 **leeknow** : :/


	35. quantity over quality

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : and it is like i always say: quantity over quality :)

 **christiano** : ..i'm not sure if i want to know what happened this time

 **lixie** : ooh i wanna know!

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah me too

 **seungmo** : jisung back at it again, disrupting class  
**seungmo** : i wish the videos i have of him could be used as blackmail but the thing is, jisung is too proud of the videos  
**seungmo** : they're essentially useless

 **leeknow** : i have no idea what happened but please send the videos to me!

 **binsual** : do you just randomly film jisung during the day or did he do something leading up to it..?

 **seungmo** : i randomly film him  
**seungmo** : or at least i do when the teacher calls attention to him

 **sungshine** : i would like to say that i perform great under pressure

 **seungmo** : yeah well your computer doesn't

 **innie** : i am? confusion

 **christiano** : i'd like to hear the full story here

 **leeknow** : ohmygosh i just got the videos  
**leeknow** : ji you're truly great at music production

 **sungshine** : thanks, i know

 **binsual** : ...?

 **seungmo** : so we had a music production class together today

 **lixie** : makes sense

 **seungmo** : and the teacher asked jisung to show what he had done  
**seungmo** : so he unplugged his headphones and played the track

 **sungshine** : but my computer decided not to cooperate :)

 **binsual** : so, what? it was silent?

 **seungmo** : oh no

 **sungshine** : nope :)  
**sungshine** : all the sounds i had in the track started to play over each other at the same time, at full volume, in front of our entire class

 **seungmo** : i honestly think my ears broke

 **sungshine** : it was just like a loud screeching, but if you concentrated, you could hear that it was made up of a bunch of different sounds

 **seungmo** : they probably sounded great on their own...

 **sungshine** : but not all at the same time :/

 **christiano** : oh wow  
**christiano** : a true music prodigy  
**christiano** : i bet your teacher was impressed

 **sungshine** : pretty sure i made half the class go deaf, but sure

 **binsual** : okay that's hilarious and all, but how did that even happen ?¿?

 **sungshine** : look man, idk  
**sungshine** : i'm not the brightest tool in the toolbox

 **leeknow** : in the shed

 **sungshine** : ???

 **leeknow** : that's how the saying goes, "not the brightest tool in the shed"

 **sungshine** : why ?¿?

 **leeknow** : tbh,,, idk either

 **lixie** : well that just sounds stupid

 **christiano** : what did your teacher say about your project sungie?

 **sungshine** : oh nothing unexpected  
**sungshine** : "ohmyGOSH MY EARS"  
**sungshine** : "IT HURTS"  
**sungshine** : "YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED, I'M GOING TO THE NURSE"

 **seungmo** : *insert loud wailing*

 **hyunjinnie** : lmaooo

 **sungshine** : this might sound controversial, but i actually think music class went really well

 **seungmo** : dude that's controversial as fuck

 **lixie** : lol

 **christiano** : …i'm not sure if i agree with you sung, but sure  
**christiano** : glad you're at least proud of what you've done

 **sungshine** : heck yeah!!

 **hyunjinnie** : sungieee  
**hyunjinnie** : miihno hyuuung

 **sungshine** : ooh BABIE!

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm older than you :(

 **sungshine** : gASP  
**sungshine** : a BABIE!! must protect!!!

 **hyunjinnie** : :(

 **leeknow** : yes jinnie what is it

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm attention starved  
**hyunjinnie** : give me attention or i'll cOMBUST!

 **leeknow** : sure, which cafe do you wanna go to?

 **sungshine** : omg please say the ice cream place!

 **hyunjinnie** : oh yeah i like the ice cream place!

 **leeknow** : ok let's go

 **binsual** : …

 **innie** : did they really just plan a date,,, in the gc???

 **christiano** : seems like it

 **seungmo** : i am? disgusted

 **lixie** : hyunminsung back at it again, being disgusting right in front of seungmin's salad  
**lixie** : the gays truly won this time

 **innie** : *wipes tear* oh wow, that was so beautiful

 **christiano** : …sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on an unrelated note, did changbin really go on their insta story and say that he loves felix...? cause same


	36. sad face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hope you've enjoyed the crack, cause now The Plot™ is about to make a comeback :))

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**lixie** : jisungie is sad

 **christiano** : oh nO MY CHILD-...!

 **hyunjinnie** : BABIE what's wrong?? why is he sad?? hOW TO HELP???

 **leeknow** : is he okay?

 **sungshine** : not to be depressing on main, buuut  
**sungshine** : no  
**sungshine** : i'm not okay :)

 **christiano** : what's wrong??

 **sungshine** : nothing much  
**sungshine** : just your typical "last few weeks alive"-depression hitting a bit harder today ahahha

 **leeknow** : do you want us to come over?

 **sungshine** : no no i'm fine, don't worry  
**sungshine** : this isn't anything you'd wanna deal with

 **hyunjinnie** : jisung.., you're not just something to be dealt with

 **lixie** : oh, wow  
**lixie** : those words really got to him T-T

 **christiano** : lix where are you right now?

 **lixie** : sungie's apartment, that's how i know he's sad

 **sungshine** : yeah he's been here since like 4 am

 **christiano** : but it's 1 pm now?

 **lixie** : yes! and i would stay longer but i have a test so i have to go to school...

 **christiano** : normally i'd be upset with you for skipping almost the entire day, but you're okay this time  
**christiano** : but jisung babie! :(  
**christiano** : do you want any of us to come over so you're not alone when felix leaves?

 **sungshine** : thanks hyung but i'm fine, i don't wanna bother you

 **leeknow** : sung, you couldn't  
**leeknow** : you're not a bother to any of us

 **sungshine** : no really! i'll be okay

 **christiano** : babie.. :((

  
__

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**leeknow** : okay you've already got chan hyung back on his "jisung babie"-agenda so you're not getting rid of us now  
 **leeknow** : you either suffocate in his cuddles or accept our concern

 **sungshine** : ...okay

 **hyunjinnie** : great! we're coming over to your place now then!

 **leeknow** : do you want us to order food?

 **sungshine** : no not hungry

 **leeknow** : okay then i'll order some

 **hyunjinnie** : ...hyung, i'm not sure you understand the meaning of the word no

 **leeknow** : yes i do!  
**leeknow** : i've just decided to ignore it since ji needs to eat

 **sungshine** : how do you know i haven't eaten already

 **leeknow** : well i don't know that, but i doubt you have

 **sungshine** : yeah you're right :/

 **hyunjinnie** : great! we're on our way!

 **leeknow** : and by that he means that we're teleporting from campus and will be outside your door in a minute

 **sungshine** : thank you guys :((((

 **hyunjinnie** : it's really no problem ji

 **leeknow** : yeah  
**leeknow** : just let us know and we'll be there

 **sungshine** : thank you :(((


	37. a cure

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**christiano** : guys where's sungie?  
 **christiano** : he's not responding or reading any messages

 **lixie** : omg please don't be dead...!

 **sungshine** : i'm not dead, i'm dying. there's a difference :/

 **innie** : jisung hyung! how are you???

 **sungshine** : hmp :)))

 **leeknow** : me & hyunjin are with him right now  
**leeknow** : he's... well, to put it simply, he's not good

 **hyunjinnie** : that's an understatement

 **lixie** : is he okay???

 **sungshine** : oh yeah, i normally cough blood and can barely stand up :)

 **christiano** : please no sarcasm right now  
**christiano** : we're trying to have a serious conversation with you

 **sungshine** : yeah and i'm trying to avoid it  
**sungshine** : am i succeeding??

 **seungmo** : not in the slightest

 **sungshine** : aww :((

 **christiano** : minho and hyunjin, do you need any of us to come over too?

 **hyunjinnie** : i think we're good..?

 **leeknow** : yeah  
**leeknow** : we've got him

 **sungshine** : heey does anyone have anything fun to say??  
**sungshine** : i'm bored!

 **leeknow** : you're sick

 **sungshine** : and it's boring!

 **seungmo** : oh, well.. i know this isn't the best time but jeongin and i have something to tell you

 **innie** : we're kinda boyfriends now..?

 **sungshine** : congrats!!!!  
**sungshine** : sorry that i can't give a better reaction, in my defense i'm very hungry :/

 **seungmo** : ...jisung, you're literally dying

 **sungshine** : oh yeah.. that too

 **seungmo** : also jeongin what do you mean KINDA boyfriends???

 **innie** : idk  
**innie** : just didn't want to sound too excited when jisung hyung is dying

 **christiano** : ...we have to solve this  
**christiano** : we have to find a cure soon

 **seungmo** : innie and i are looking in the witch library right now

 **lixie** : me & binnie hyung are working on spells!

 **sungshine** : guys it's fine

 **christiano** : well there has to be something, right?

 **hyunjinnie** : i'm googling shit rn

 **seungmo** : find anything helpful?

 **hyunjinnie** : only things to help his illness symptoms  
**hyunjinnie** : but i'll keep looking!

 **binsual** : i've learned a few potions from wooyoung at the cafe that might help with the coughing blood and weakness, but not anything for the curse...

 **sungshine** : guys don't waste your time

 **binsual** : the fuck did you just say

 **christiano** : binnie don't be mad  
**christiano** : but also  
**christiano** : Jisung.

 **innie** : oh no

 **seungmo** : both capitalization AND punctuation... intimidating

 **christiano** : do you really think us trying to save your life is a waste of our time? do you seriously think that?  
**christiano** : because if you do, then you're wrong, okay?  
**christiano** : this is the single most important thing we could possibly be doing right now  
**christiano** : i really, REALLY hope you understand that

 **sungshine** : i'm sorry hyung, and i get it, but it just feels... hopeless?  
**sungshine** : idk  
**sungshine** : i'm sorry

 **hyunjinnie** : no no don't be it's okay!

 **christiano** : aww sungie.. i really wanna hug you right now

 **sungshine** : oh no trust me you don't :/

 **leeknow** : ji, it will be okay  
**leeknow** : we're gonna keep looking

 **sungshine** : aah i wish i could leave my bed so i could actually be of help here..

 **hyunjinnie** : nope, none of that!  
**hyunjinnie** : you've been surviving on your own for almost a year

 **leeknow** : yeah, let us help you now

 **christiano** : for now, you just need to rest sungie

 **sungshine** : ...okay  
**sungshine** : ＼(^-^)／


	38. the sun, the moon and the universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's very relevant to this chapter, so in case anyone's forgotten: minho is a solar witch, hyunjin is a cosmic witch, and changbin is a lunar witch

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : guys  
 **sungshine** : i think i found it

 **christiano** : ...what?

 **leeknow** : ji, what did you find??

 **hyunjinnie** : arghj,, you're supposed to be resting

 **seungmo** : jisung what is it?

 **lixie** : what did you find?

 **binsual** : you can't just say that and then not explain..

 **innie** : jisung hyung??

 **sungshine** : i'm not sure, but at least i think i've found it

 **christiano** : what is it you think you've found?

 **sungshine** : i think i've found a cure

-

minho is out of breath when he arrives outside hyunjin's classroom. the boy slows his pace as he reaches the door leading to the dance studio until he comes to a stop in front of it. he's not sure if he should just barge in or wait for hyunjin to get out, but his dilemma is solved no more than a second later when the door opens and the other dancer steps out. hyunjin's face reflects every single emotion minho is feeling right now, and the older knows they don't even have to speak to understand each other in this moment.

their eyes meet, and it feels like there's lightning in the air between them.

"you saw the group chat?" hyunjin asks, panting slightly. his skin is glistening a bit from sweating, which makes sense considering he's coming straight from a dance class.

minho nods and opens his mouth.

"we have to go to his place. now."

hyunjin is nodding before minho even finishes the sentence.

around them, the corridor is empty. there's no one here who can see them, so hyunjin holds out a hand and minho takes it. a second later, a breeze passes over their skin in a way that makes it tingle, and minho keeps his focus on hyunjin's eyes.

they disappear.

-

when jisung said he could barely stand up yesterday, he had not been exaggerating. he's currently leaning heavily against a counter, skin pale and face flushed, despite not having walked more than a few steps from where he had previously been sitting on a chair.

it's weird to see the usually so energetic boy in this state. they're used to seeing him laugh, his personality fitting well with his nickname "sungshine", but right now, he just looks exhausted. it makes sense, all things considered, but it still breaks their hearts a little.

hyunjin and minho arrived not even a minute ago, and chan is also here, standing close to jisung. their leader stayed with the witch during the day while the rest of the boys went to school so that he wouldn't get lonely, but also in case something were to happen.

"so?" hyunjin finally says, both anxious and eager to hear what jisung has come up with. he desperately wants to walk over and force jisung down into a seat, but he's not so sure the younger would appreciate that. besides, chan is hovering right next to jisung in case he'd suddenly collapse, and hyunjin trusts the older to take care of him.

jisung takes another deep breath before forcing his eyes to meet hyunjin's.

"it's simpler that i thought", he begins, before pausing to cough. his voice is rather hoarse, either from not having used it for a while or because of the sickness, the others can't tell. he continues. "and it will take three other witches to do the spell, not including myself."

"we'll do it", chan is quick to say, looking around at the other two in the room as they nod their agreement to that.

jisung shakes his head slowly. there's a small, apologetic smile on his face as he does.

"i know you'd help if you could, hyung, but it requires three specific witches." he takes another short pause to just breathe, closing his eyes as he does. hyunjin's instinct to manhandle jisung into a chair is reflected on the two older boys' faces.

jisung opens his eyes again before continuing. "the curse is deadly, and to stop something like death, you need a little bit of power from the universe. i think the spell was called 'the sun, the moon and the universe'."

it clicks in hyunjin's mind before jisung explains it.

"the sun, that means a solar witch. the moon, a lunar witch. and the universe is a cosmic witch."

the three other boys in the room look around at each other. chan finally takes the step that separates him from jisung, and starts helping the younger toward one of the chairs despite his weak protests.

"someone call changbin", chan says in a serious tone, "and tell him to get here quickly."

-

changbin, minho and hyunjin are all standing huddled around the table in jisung's kitchen, while chan is with the younger boy over in his bedroom. they're in the middle of trying to figure out how exactly the spell works. on the table, there's a handwritten note with instructions, but the edges are torn and some of the ink has blurred. apparently it's something jisung found in his grandmother's spellbook.

"look, we don't need a lot of things", minho says, moving the note closer so that he can read better. "three specific witches, that's us. a witness. and then an object of importance...?"

he trails off unsurely at the end. when minho turns his eyes to the younger two boys, none of them look like they understand it any better than himself.

"ask jisung about it", changbin suggests. "he's gotta know what it means."

as soon as changbin's done speaking, they hear the front door open, almost as if they're following a script and have to get the timing for it exactly right. they all turn toward the hallway at the sound of it.

"JISUNGIE!"

it's unmistakably felix's voice, but even as they hear the boy rush down the hallway toward jisung's bedroom, only briefly passing through their line of sight as he runs past the opening to the kitchen. the other three boys decide to follow him to jisung's bedroom. they can hear felix's low voice all the way out to where they are, and head toward it.

when they turn the corner to jisung's bedroom, they see the sick boy sitting up on his bed, leaned against the wall, with felix sitting right next to him. the both of them turn toward the door as the rest enter.

"hey", minho says in a soft voice, to which jisung gives a small smile of acknowledgement. "can we come in?"

the young boy nods, even though they're already past the threshold. he looks less pale than when he'd been standing up in the kitchen, even though there's still an obvious discomfort on his face. minho isn't sure how bad he's been feeling today, but at least he hasn't coughed any more blood since he and hyunjin got here.

"we have a question about the spell…" changbin starts, eyes on jisung to see his reaction. the witch appears unaffected, simply nods again to show that he's listening, and changbin relaxes at this. "it says we need a witness, as well as an object of importance."

even without saying the question out loud, jisung understands what they're asking.

"ah", he says, trying to sit up a little straighter. felix helps him. "a witness is just someone who saw the curse when it was cast, but i think i count, since i was there myself."

"and the object of importance?" hyunjin wonders.

jisung takes a little more time to formulate his response to this.

"uh, so, it's basically supposed to be like a physical representation of the curse…? like, it could either be an enchanted object that was used for the curse, or just something with a connection to the person who cast the curse."

minho furrows his brows as he takes in this information, thinking about what object that could be. as far as he knows, jisung doesn't have anything that belongs to yeri, and there's no way there's any enchanted object involved, since the curse wasn't even on purpose.

"is there such an object?" hyunjin asks, looking like his thoughts are on similar tracks as minho's.

to their surprise, jisung nods and reaches beneath the neckline of his shirt. he pulls up a necklace that glows red from the stone that hangs on it, sparkling slightly even when there's no light shining directly on it.

"this is yeri's necklace", he explains. "she gave it to me a while back, when i helped her cure the curse that i gave her. she said i might need it…"

well. it doesn't seem like they'll need anything else to make the cure, except for themselves and their magical powers, and there's nothing more to do to prepare.

"so that means we have everything", changbin says, to which jisung agrees.

they all look around each other, the expressions on their faces a mix between uncertainty, eagerness, anxiety and hope.

"yeah." hyunjin's voice is much lighter than one would expect in this situation. "now the only question is, when do we get started?"


	39. how to save a life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here i go again, nOO…!

"do you think they're done yet?"

"innie, they can't be. we've only been waiting for twenty minutes. spells usually take longer than that."

"but chan hyung, what if they forget to tell us when they're done and we just sit out here, waiting for nothing?"

"felix... there's literally no way that could happen."

"you don't know that!"

chan tries not to sigh, the same way he's been trying not to bounce his leg for the past twenty minutes. not after accidentally smacking his knee into the table (his knee still hurts like hell from it).

the four of them are sitting together in the mirror cafe as they wait for changbin, minho, hyunjin and jisung to perform the spell needed to save jisung's life. it's a little weird, knowing that the other half of their coven is currently doing something so important, saving the life of one of their own, and that the rest of them are simply sitting here. waiting. unable to help if anything goes wrong...

"stop thinking so much", seungmin says, giving chan a pointed look. and yeah, he's right, but it's very hard to ignore the huge thing going on at this very moment just a few streets from where they are.

changbin, minho and hyunjin had all been rather anxious before the others left, while jisung didn't have the energy to express any emotion at all. chan wonders how they're doing now.

-

another twenty minutes have passed when all of their phones light up at the same time, and they exchange a quick look. there's no doubt that it's a new message in their group chat. they all reach for their phones and swipe to read it without saying a single word.

  
__

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : get back here hoes  
 **leeknow** : we done now  
 **leeknow** : sung bin & jinnie passed out but we done  
 **leeknow** : peace out

 **lixie** : ohmYGOSH HYUNG WE'RE ON OUR WAY!!!

 **christiano** : are you all okay? did it work??

 **innie** : he said peace out  
**innie** : i'm pretty sure that means he passed out

 **lixie** : let's run to jisung's apartment!!!!

 **seungmo** : you know, you could've just said that out loud

 **lixie** : yeah but so could you

 **seungmo** : ...fair point


	40. everything will be okay

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : so u know how i almost died that one time

 **christiano** : ...that was today

 **binsual** : technically it was yesterday  
**binsual** : since it's 2 am

 **leeknow** : ji! you should be asleep

 **christiano** : so should you...

 **sungshine** : i was passed out for like five hours :/  
**sungshine** : that's enough sleep for today

 **christiano** : it's literally not

 **binsual** : is hyunjinnie up too?

 **hyunjinnie** : yup :p

 **christiano** : WHY are you guys up?

 **leeknow** : i mean, we all passed out for a few hours after doing the spell  
**leeknow** : it makes sense that we're awake now

 **binsual** : what doesn't make sense is that you're up, hyung

 **sungshine** : lmao what did u expect

 **hyunjinnie** : yea,,, it's crispy hyung we're talking abt here :/

 **christiano** : i thOughT we werE pAst that name!!!

 **leeknow** : resurrection is a thing

 **christiano** : …

 **sungshine** : anyway!!  
**sungshine** : minho hyung  
**sungshine** : hyunjinnie  
**sungshine** : do u wanna hang out? :D

 **binsual** : isn't this what your private gc is for..?

 **leeknow** : oh sure!

 **hyunjinnie** : yeah i'd love to!

 **christiano** : it's literally 2 am…

 **sungshine** : great :D  
**sungshine** : you wanna come to my place?

 **hyunjinnie** : on our way! ;)

  
__

****

3racha [3]

****

**  
**

**cb97** : hey sung  
**cb97** : are you sure you shouldn't be resting?

 **j.one** : i am resting! i just want company

 **spearb** : and kisses

 **j.one** : …cuddles

 **spearb** : hot makeout sessions

 **j.one** : …  
**j.one** : ᶦ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᵏᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉᵐ

 **cb97** : you what mate

 **j.one** : ᵏᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉᵐ

 **spearb** : sorry but what does that mean??

 **j.one** : kith  
**j.one** : gonna kith them

 **spearb** : …

 **cb97** : …

 **j.one** : bye hyungs have a nice rest of your night! ^.^

 **cb97** : yeah…  
**cb97** : you too

 **spearb** : i hope you have a good time,,, kithing (??) them

 **j.one** : thank you! ^-^

-

all jisung gets to prepare is a short message from hyunjin, one that reads "incoming!", and a few seconds later, two boys pop into jisung's living room. jisung himself is simply sitting on his couch and chilling, but when the pair appears, he jumps up.

jisung's brain still feels like soup after everything that's happened today, and he's not so sure he'll be able to formulate a single coherent sentence, but it's clear from the expressions on hyunjin's and minho's faces when they see him that he won't need to. wordlessly, all three of them meet in an embrace, basking in each other's presence. it hasn't been long since they parted, but at the same time, it feels like too much time has passed.

"how are you feeling?" jisung hears minho's voice mumble, and he can barely bring himself to reply. it takes a moment too long for him to answer, and that doesn't go unnoticed by the other two.

"soupy", he says, to which hyunjin snorts.

"your brain feels like soup?" the slightly older boy guesses, and jisung nods. that's exactly what he's trying to say. it's a bit surprising that hyunjin manages to make sense of his one-worded reply, but at the same time, they've spent a lot of time together. it's not that weird.

"let's move to the couch", minho suggests, and they all head toward it without letting go of each other. minho has an arm around jisung's waist and hyunjin has moved his hand down and intertwined it with jisung's, while he walks in the middle. they settle on the couch together, moving around a bit to find the most comfortable position for cuddles, eventually settling down in silence.

there are a lot of things jisung wishes he could tell them right now. how thankful he is for everything they've helped him with, how happy he is for what the three of them (plus changbin) have done today, but his brain isn't cooperating at this moment.

that's fine.

for the first time, jisung doesn't feel stressed about not being able to say his thoughts out loud. after all, he has a lifetime left to tell minho and hyunjin just how much he appreciates them, a lifetime that he used to think he would never get to live. now, thanks to some special people, he will.

he has a whole life left to love them. there's no need to rush.

or, well… there is one thing he would really like to do, preferably as soon as possible, even though he knows they have all the time in the world do it later. but it feels like they've already waited long enough. now is as good of a time as any.

jisung is in the middle of the trio, and can easily reach them both from where he's half-sitting between them. it's the perfect position, really.

"hey", he says softly, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere. jisung feels safe for the first time in a long while, so long that the feeling seems foreign to him, but that's just the effect minho and hyunjin seem to have on him. he couldn't imagine a better moment.

"yeah?" minho replies while hyunjin simply hums to show that he's listening. the oldest of the three has turned his head toward jisung as he waits to hear what he's gonna ask. jisung almost backs out, but then he looks into minho's eyes and the feeling of safety once again washes over him. he has nothing be afraid of.

"can i kiss you?"

at this, hyunjin also turns his face toward their youngest, and he's wearing a smile so bright that jisung thinks the boy is about to burst out laughing. he thinks the dancer is about to say something, but then minho puts a hand on his cheek and jisung turns his eyes to him instead.

minho smiles and leans forward slowly, giving jisung time to process, before he also leans forward and they both close their eyes.

soft. everything's soft. and safe, too, even more so since jisung can feel hyunjin's hand on his back even as his lips are on minho's and they're _kissing_. suddenly, he can't believe why they waited so long to do this.

when they pull away, hyunjin is still grinning, and jisung really wants to stop him. by putting his own lips on hyunjin's lips.

still, he puts his hand on hyunjin's shoulder first, not wanting to attack the boy (or even though he kinda wants to, he also wants this to be nice because that's what they deserve). hyunjin gets what he's gonna do, and moves his own hand from jisung's back up to jisung's neck and pulls their faces closer.

it's a bit different from kissing minho, but it's just as good, and hyunjin is being surprisingly gentle in everything he does. his lips are soft. jisung feels safety in this kiss, too.

he leans back from hyunjin's face, and watches as the other two's eyes meet. jisung can't help but smile as they look at each other with just as much love in their eyes now as when they were kissing him.

it's truly perfect, even when he has to lean back on the couch so that they have space to reach each other. he wouldn't change it for the world.

-

"wait", hyunjin suddenly speaks up, his tone making both jisung and minho tense up a bit. hyunjin continues. "we said we were gonna be boyfriends as soon as jisungie's life wasn't in danger anymore. does that mean we're dating now?"

minho groans at the question.

"please ask again tomorrow", he replies in a much gentler voice than you would expect, considering the groan. "none of our brains are wording right now."

jisung giggles at that. it's true, they can talk about it tomorrow. for once in his life, tomorrow is actually a thing, a given, not just a distant event that he may or may not live to see.

hyunjin also giggles at that before silence falls over them once more, a comfortable thing in the darkness around them. before they have time to close their eyes, however, there's a loud meow coming from the open door.

or maybe it's not that loud, but it's easily heard in the silence.

minho lifts his head the fastest.

"mia?" he asks, and jisung can hear the excitement in his voice. he knows that minho has seen mia around his apartment before, the cat with the eight legs being quite hard not to notice, but she's far from social and usually goes into hiding pretty quickly whenever jisung has people over.

this time though, she's standing on the wooden floor with her face turned toward the boys on the couch, eyes gleaming in the dark. her black fur makes her body almost invisible against the dark background, but the eyes are hard to miss.

minho lifts a hand and holds it out toward mia, not really expecting the cat to get any closer. when she takes a tentative step forward, he actually lets out a gasp, and jisung tries not to laugh as he and hyunjin simply watch.

she doesn't take more than one step every other second, but she comes closer and closer at the pace she's comfortable with. hyunjin audibly coos when she butts her head against minho's outheld hand that's dangling from the couch. given their position, it's hard for the oldest boy to do much besides give her some soft pats on the head, but mia seems content with it.

"aww", jisung joins in on hyunjin's cooing. "hyung, she likes you!"

minho doesn't say anything in response, but the smile on his face says enough. jisung and hyunjin exchange a knowing glance, both of them being able to tell just how whipped their hyung is for jisung's cat.

after a few more moments, mia turns to walk away, leaving the group of boys alone again. minho seems very pleased with the little time got to spend petting her, and it's cute.

the three of them fall back into silence. before jisung closes his eyes, he thinks that he wouldn't mind spending every night like this. it's kind of nice. probably the best one he's had in a while.

for the first time in almost a year, he's not threatened by the overhanging promise of death. he can see a future beyond the closest three weeks, and that's more than he could say when he woke up this morning.

time. something he always wanted but thought he could never have. now, thanks to his almost-maybe-boyfriends, he finally has enough.

they fall asleep like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ᵒᵐᵍ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵏᶦᵗʰᵉᵈ ᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ !!!
> 
> also i'm sorry for neglecting mia basically since the first time she was introduced but i love her so she'll show up again before the story ends


	41. apartment go boom

****

**hyunjinnie - > sungshine [private chat]**

**hyunjinnie** : hey sungie, i talked to seungmin  
 **hyunjinnie** : he says that if you blow up your apartment, he'll make sure you're kicked out from the family

 **sungshine** : bold of him to assume chan hyung wouldn't adopt me right back into the family again

 **hyunjinne** : lmaooo

  
__

**leeknow - > sungshine [private chat]**

**leeknow** : all i'm saying is that if you blow up your apartment, chan hyung will probably kill you

 **sungshine** : well at least i'll get a nice funeral..?

 **leeknow** : of course baby

 **sungshine** : ahjsdhhaksjhdj...  
**sungshine** : thanks :)

  
__

**lixie - > sungshine [private chat]**

**lixie** : jISUNG!!  
 **lixie** : why are you blowing up your apartment?!?

 **sungshine** : it sounded like a good idea before i got started...

 **lixie** : mhm.. :/  
**lixie** : just make sure mia doesn't get hurt!

 **sungshine** : i love how everyone is more worried about mia than about me

 **lixie** : well you do dumb things on the daily  
**lixie** : i don't want mia to go through something like that

 **sungshine** : actually, you are correct

 **lixie** : of course i am ^-^

  
__

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**sungshine** : hey guys, soo...  
 **sungshine** : i need a new place to stay  
 **sungshine** : my last one,,, broke

 **seungmo** : that's one way to put it...

 **lixie** : mOVE INTO OUR PLACE WITH US!!

 **hyunninnie** : omg YES PLEASEE!!

 **christiano** : ...i'm choosing to ignore whatever happened to your previous apartment at the moment...  
**christiano** : sung, we'd be really happy to have you stay with us!

 **sungshine** : really? :o

 **binsual** : don't be all *surprised pikachu face*

 **leeknow** : we all love you and we want you here

 **hyunjinnie** : as long as you want to be...?

 **sungshine** : what is this new emotion i'm experiencing...  
**sungshine** : could it be...  
**sungshine** : no  
**sungshine** : no, it can't possibly be...  
**sungshine** : is it... *whispers* happiness?

 **hyunjinnie** : stop being dramatic and just say yes

 **lixie** : hey boi, i'm gonna make this simple for u

 **christiano** : you got two choices

 **lixie** : yes, or... YES!

 **sungshine** : well then  
**sungshine** : i guess i have to say yes! :D

 **innie** : ooh you can be my roommate!

 **sungshine** : yesss!

 **binsual** : i'm like, lowkey terrified by that but ok  
**binsual** : as long as chan hyung approves

 **christiano** : the one thing i won't allow is jisung & felix being roommates  
**christiano** : anything else is fine

 **lixie** : hyung :( you have no faith in us :((

 **christiano** : you are absolutely right about that

 **seungmo** : in his defense, the last time you two were alone together in the apartment  
**seungmo** : well  
**seungmo** : it was a disaster

 **hyunjinnie** : oooh wasn't that the time they had to go to the hospital?

 **leeknow** : right  
**leeknow** : they ate slime or something

 **lixie** : lmao

 **sungshine** : good times

 **christiano** : but Jisung

 **sungshine** : oh sHIT...!!!  
**sungshine** : capitalization....  
**sungshine** : hi hyung :) how are you on this fine day?

 **christiano** : can we talk about your apartment

 **sungshine** : don't dwell on the past hyung  
**sungshine** : those days are long gone, that apartment is no more  
**sungshine** : the best we can do is move on with the memories and pray for better days

 **lixie** : amen!

 **christiano** : ...ok

 **sungshine** : okay but on a serious note  
**sungshine** : no one got hurt, and i put up protective spells around the building before blowing it up  
**sungshine** : the explosion was very well contained

 **binsual** : i need that drake meme but i don't know how to send pictures

 **lixie** : moving out of your old apartment (shakes head)  
**lixie** : blowing up your old apartment (nods and points)

 **hyunjinnie** : i mean,,, i get what you're saying but it's not a meme without the pictures

 **christiano** : ok i guess i'm not mad

 **sungshine** : and you're not gonna let seungmin put me up for adoption? :o

 **christiano** : no  
**christiano** : i would just adopt you right back into the family again

 **hyunjinnie** : omg, jisung oracle confirmed..!!.!,!.!

 **christiano** : uuh, yeah? it was confirmed a long time ago

 **sungshine** : so anyway  
**sungshine** : i'm outside your door now! :D

 **lixie** : omg i'm coming!

 **binsual** : …wow

 **seungmo** : it's almost like he decided to move in here before asking us

 **leeknow** : but i mean…

 **hyunjinnie** : he kinda lived here already

 **leeknow** : yeah

 **innie** : hyung you can come into my room  
**innie** : jisung hyung, i mean  
**innie** : no one else is allowed entrance

 **sungshine** : omg yisss!!!

 **innie** : we can turn our bedroom into a jungle!

 **sungshine** : wooow mia is gonna love that!!!

 **christiano** : aaand here we go again


	42. and they were roommates

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**leeknow** : now for the million dollar question  
 **leeknow** : who stole my cat?? :)

 **binsual** : you sure you didn't just lose it again hyung?

 **sungshine** : idk whwi uoure talking abot hyunnf

 **christiano** : sungie are u ok

 **sungshine** : yah hsyung im pdeffnet!!! just cant see oast these tears inmme eyes

 **hyunjinnie** : why are you crying???? (T ^ T)

 **seungmo** : ohmygosh don't get him started  
**seungmo** : he watched an edit of felix dancing

 **lixie** : ...oh?

 **sungshine** : u dontm udertanad!!!  
**sungshine** : it was so crackt and colfoorful and sped uo in certain parts and then slwoef down!!!

 **christiano** : you seem drunk

 **seungmo** : he's not, but there are literal tears in his eyes from laughing so hard

 **leeknow** : so back to my CAT

 **innie** : oh! i know exactly who stole it

 **leeknow** : Tell me.

 **sungshine** : tell me baby

 **leeknow** : ignore jisung  
**leeknow** : tell me where my cat is

 **innie** : on jisung hyung's lap

 **leeknow** : ...

 **sungshine** : in mi defens, jeongin supoeretd my decososin wehn i said i was guna go kidnap dori

 **christiano** : we never should have allowed sung & innie to be roommates..

 **lixie** : jeongin is an enabler, wbk  
**lixie** : and also a tattler apparently

 **innie** : and what about it

 **christiano** : sometimes i regret bringing you guys together..

 **sungshine** : only sometimes?? why not all times???? :o

 **christiano** : jisung stop attacking me in the gc and go finish your music production project

 **leeknow** : no!!!  
**leeknow** : return dori to me first!!!

 **innie** : bold of you to assume jisung hyung hasn't left his phone already

 **binsual** : hyung you could just go to their room and get dori for yourself

 **leeknow** : no i can't  
**leeknow** : i am trapped

 **lixie** : oof

 **binsual** : tough luck ig

 **leeknow** : ...thanks everyone for your unwavering support and help, your efforts to put me out of my misery are greatly appreciated

 **seungmo** : stop being a drama queen, you're gonna put hyunjin out of business

 **lixie** : minho hyung coming for his spot as the top one most dramatic bitch, smh

 **hyunjinnie** : i am currently trapping minho hyung :D

 **innie** : wow you seem happy

 **hyunjinnie** : i am ^.^ cause minho hyung has finally agreed to cuddle me <33

 **leeknow** : i would just like to state that i did not agree to anything...  
**leeknow** : a n y t h i n g

 **christiano** : ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this story might end up having 45 chapters? i'm currently writing ch 45 and i think it's gonna be the last one :)


	43. family situations

"hello."

"hey."

"wait... jisung? is that you?"

"yeah, it's me. hi mom."

"is it really? oh, wow, it's been so long... i haven't heard from you since you arrived in korea. wait, is it almost a year now? a year has passed since the curse? is that why you're calling?"

"i thought you would know that." he chuckles humorlessly. "i mean, a year, specifically. the date would be kinda important, considering what's gonna happen."

"the one year anniversary of your curse." there's something close to sadness in his mother's tone. "yeah, i know. i wish things were different."

"they are."

"i mean, of course things are different, but i wish they weren't like this, at least. i'm so sorry jisung, i'm sorry for everything. and i can't even say that you deserve better, because i don't know you well enough to say that... i really, really wish things were different. a lot different."

"mom, stop, it's okay. and yeah, i called because of the one year curse anniversary thing, but also because that's no longer a-... well, it's no longer a thing, so to say."

"wait... the curse? what do you mean it's no longer a thing?"

"i'm not dying. we solved it. i've made some friends here in korea, a whole coven actually, and they helped me solve it. i'm gonna live, mom."

there's silence on the other end of the line, and jisung almost thinks his mom has hung up on him before there's a sniffle.

he can practically hear the smile in her voice when she speaks next.

"i'm so happy for your sake, jisung. so, so happy. have you called your grandmother yet? she's been asking about you. i don't think she understands that she knows you better than me and your dad..."

jisung decides not to comment on that.

"yeah, actually, i told her right before calling you. it was one of her old spells that cured me."

"ah, should've expected that. she's very skilled when it comes to spell work."

"yeah, she is."

"sorry, but jisung… you mentioned a coven."

"yeah?"

"are they… are you a part of i? are you in a coven now?"

"yeah, i am. they're really nice."

"that's good. i'm glad to hear it. it's good that you're making friends, and i really hope you're fine over there."

"thanks, mom, i am. i gotta go, but it was nice talking to you!"

"you as well. remembers to study hard, and stay safe. i'm so proud of you."

"thank you…"

-

**emperor lee know's trip in just 60 dollars, taxes excluded [3]**

**sungshine** : hey guys

 **leeknow** : hiiii!

 **hyunjinnie** : oh hello babye

 **leeknow** : euuw  
**leeknow** : that spelling is disgusting

 **sungshine** : agreed :/  
**sungshine** : but i was actually wondering if i can call you?

 **hyunjinnie** : wait are you not in your room?

 **leeknow** : sungie where are you???

 **sungshine** : oh yeah about that  
**sungshine** : uuuh  
**sungshine** : i spontaneously decided to teleport to malaysia with no preparations at all just to see my grandma...?

 **hyunjinnie** : oh

 **leeknow** : of course you can call us!

 **hyunjinnie** : i'll go to minho hyung's room so we don't have to make it a 3-way call!  
**hyunjinnie** : just call minho hyung and i'll be with him

 **sungshine** : ok ^.^

-

"hi?"

"jisungie!"

"baby!"

"ohmygosh why are you screaming? i'm right next to you, hyunjin."

"sorry hyung."

"yeah, you should be!"

"uh, guys?"

"sorry sungie! hyunjin was being loud!"

"excuse you? i am not loud!"

jisung laughs before chiming in. "you're both loud, and i'm trying to start a conversation here. please pay attention to me."

"sorry jisungie. was there anything special you wanted to talk about?" minho asks.

"well... yeah. i called my mom earlier. i haven't talked to her since i first got to korea, cause we're not exactly close. actually, i haven't lived with her since i was eleven and moved to malaysia the first time."

"wait, the first time? there was a first time?"

jisung chuckles.

"yeah. i moved the first time when i was eleven, and that's when i moved into my grandma's house while my parents lived a few streets down, and then i came back to korea for college. last year was the second time i moved to malaysia and i lived with my grandma again."

"why didn't you live with your parents, if you don't mind me asking?" hyunjin's voice is soft, careful.

"it's not... nothing happened. they just, they never wanted me and never really had any interest in raising a kid. it wasn't exactly bad, but it was like... nothing. i barely had a relationship to them. to be honest, i still don't, but i think the curse made them realize that i was actually a person and not just this thing they had to care for until i turned eighteen. so yeah, that's my rant..."

"i'm sorry you don't have parents, sungie."

"hyunjin! he has parents, didn't you listen?"

"i know hyung! i meant parents that were emotionally present and things like that!"

jisung rolls his eyes fondly as he hears them bicker at the other end of the line, briefly wishing that he was there so he could see them.

he tunes back in to the conversation when he notices hyunjin addressing him once again.

"but to be honest, it's not like any of us have good family relationships. i mean, there's a reason all of us live together instead of with our own families."

"you're forgetting about innie", minho chimes in. "he has a good relationship with his parents. innie just doesn't live with them since he wanted to go to a college that's too far away from where his family lives, so it was either chan hyung's apartment or the campus dorms."

jisung hasn't really considered that before. to him, it's just been something obvious that the seven boys in the coven live with each other in an apartment instead of with their own families.

he doesn't even notice the slightly surprised "oh?" that leaves his mouth before minho is replying to his very articulate and well-formulated question.

"yeah... my parents kicked me out after i came out. it was right before college. my plan had been to still live at home when school started, but then that happened, and i had to move into the dorms instead. i got to know chan hyung my first month, and after half a year of knowing him, i moved into his apartment. binnie was already there at that time."

"oh... i'm so sorry, hyung", jisung says.

"no, no, don't be. i have a good life without them in it." jisung can hear the smile in minho's voice, and it makes him smile, too.

"great! now for my sad life story!" the loudness of hyunjin's tone almost causes jisung to jump. "so my parents are dead."

the bluntness of the statement has jisung choking on his own breath, and it takes a few seconds for him to recover.

hyunjin continues, unbothered by the interruption.

"yeah... it's supposed to be sad, and i mean, yeah, i have my emo moments about it, but i never knew them so it's not sad to me. from what i've heard, they were pretty shitty people."

"you can still miss them", jisung says gently. "even if they were shitty."

hyunjin's voice softens, as well.

"yeah. and i mean, i do sometimes, but most of the time it's not something i think about. anyway... since my parents were dead, i grew up with seungmin, and his parents are very, very, very strict. they kicked him out when he decided to major in music. i got kicked out by correlation, even though they didn't actually say it. i was going to major in dance, so it would've happened, anyway. i'm just glad chan hyung adopted us quickly."

jisung thinks it's kind of beautiful how all eight boys, with their different backgrounds and abilities and interests and personalities, all managed to find each other.

he decides to say as much.

"isn't it kind of amazing that all of us found each other? like, even though family situations were shit and no one could really do anything about it, things got better just from meeting each other?"

"wow. yeah, that's a beautiful way of saying it, but yeah, it's true."

"things are kind of great right now, aren't they?"

jisung can't help but agree with that.


	44. graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in case it wasn't obvious from the fact that it's now their graduation, this chapter takes place a few months later :p

**eight witches, bitches [8]**

**christiano** : if i catch any of you fucking in a bush after the graduation ceremony, it's on sight

 **binsual** : oh, wow..  
**binsual** : i see you're taking a more direct approach in your parenting style nowadays

 **leeknow** : what about making out?

 **christiano** : a good rule of thumb is that if you feel like you have to do it in a bush, then don't do it at all  
**christiano** : at least not until you're in private

 **leeknow** : but i'm graduating  
**leeknow** : gotta give the school something to remember me for!

 **christiano** : fucking in front of the entire student population is not the kind of memory i think people would appreciate having of you

 **hyunjinnie** : but you gotta admit hyung, it would be a spectacular way to end college!

 **lixie** : omg...  
**lixie** : i just realized binnie hyung & minho hyung are actually graduating...  
**lixie** : like, they won't be here next year...

 **sungshine** : and neither will i cause i'm dROPPING OUT!

 **christiano** : no you're not

 **sungshine** : yes i am  
**sungshine** : i already told the school

 **christiano** : anyway  
**christiano** : my point is, don't do anything inappropriate on school ground

 **binsual** : are you just gonna ignore that sungie is apparently dropping out of college?

 **christiano** : he has already threatened me with dropping out about fifty times  
**christiano** : it lost its effect somewhere around the 10th time

 **leeknow** : i can't believe myself rn...  
**leeknow** : i need to come up with something inappropriate to do on school grounds before i graduate  
**leeknow** : iiiiih,,,,,, i have less than an hour......

 **seungmo** : about twenty minutes, in fact

 **leeknow** : crap, what am i gonna do???

 **innie** : don't do anything too embarrassing cause you might have to return to school grounds next year to pick up hyunjin hyung or jisung hyung since they'll still be here

 **sungshine** : no cause i'm leaving after this year

 **leeknow** : oh you have a point...  
**leeknow** : currently taking suggestions on how to leave college grounds for the last time! it has to be spectacular

 **seungmo** : jump into the fountain

 **leeknow** : ...  
**leeknow** : actually not a bad idea  
**leeknow** : seungmin-ah, i have underestimated you

 **christiano** : ohmygosh please don't  
**christiano** : everyone has to walk past that fountain to get in and out of the school

 **innie** : that means everyone will see minho hyung if he does that

 **leeknow** : exactly ;)

 **christiano** : someone please save me...

 **lixie** : don't worry hyung! graduation only happens once so you won't have to worry about minho hyung's graduation again :)

 **christiano** : but even after him, i still have five kids left to graduate :/

 **sungshine** : four, cause i'm not graduating next year

 **hyunjinnie** : okay sorry but real talk here  
**hyunjinnie** : why are you so set on not being in college next year?

 **leeknow** : yeah,, you're scaring me a little

 **sungshine** : SORRY HYUNG ^O^  
**sungshine** : I'M JUST VERY EXCITED AND I WOULD LIKE FOR SOMEONE TO ASK WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THAT I WON'T BE HERE!

 **christiano** : well we're asking now  
**christiano** : i had assumed you just meant you were dropping out but i get the feeling something's going on...?

 **sungshine** : okay okay so storytime

 **lixie** : omg i can tell you've been waiting to get everyone's attention for a while

 **binsual** : yeah,, you seem to be excited sung

 **sungshine** : ok yeah true but now i gotta talk! it's storytime!  
**sungshine** : so when i started college, i was an overambitious bitch who decided to take an extra class my first year

 **hyunjinnie** : big oof

 **sungshine** : and then when i went to malaysia i did online classes and basically made this agreement with the school which put me ahead of my year :/  
**sungshine** : then when i came back to korea, i had a whole ass curse to worry about! not good! i wanted to learn as much as possible before i died!  
**sungshine** : so me being the overambitious bitch i am talked to the school again and asked if there was any way to take my classes faster and graduate this year instead of next  
**sungshine** : aka graduate a year early

 **leeknow** : wait...

 **sungshine** : and somehow, they made it work! idk how but i had to work very much more than expected! overambitious bitch indeed!

 **seungmo** : are you saying...

 **sungshine** : and this means that i am graduating this year instead of next year! aka i'm graduating today!  
**sungshine** : aka in like five minutes along with everyone who's technically a year above me aahhahah  
**sungshine** : ...surprise!

 **christiano** : wHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING EARLIER????  
**christiano** : i HAVE THREE CHILDREN GRADUATING TODAY!!!

 **sungshine** : in my defense, i did tell felix

 **lixie** : yup ^.^

 **hyunjinnie** : omg jisungieeee,,, you're abandoning your fellow 2000 liners :((

 **sungshine** : sorry jinnie :((

 **seungmo** : ngl i'm actually very impressed with you sung  
**seungmo** : i heard it's really tough to graduate early, and you've been studying abroad so it's like, extra tough

 **sungshine** : thank you ^.^

 **innie** : omg hyung nooo! i didn't get your pre-graduation pics for my family photobook!

 **binsual** : yeah he already took one of me and minho hyung

 **sungshine** : that's okay! you have plenty of pictures of me anyway ahahhah

 **seungmo** : guys the graduation is about to start

 **christiano** : omg i am not emotionally prepared  
**christiano** : my children are graduating  
**christiano** : my babies...  
**christiano** : getting sent off into the world... ;-;

 **binsual** : hyung we're still gonna live in the same apartment

 **leeknow** : the only difference will be that instead of going to college during the days, i'll be going to a dance studio and changbin will be doing god knows what

 **binsual** : ...for the last time, i am going to work at the mirror cafe with wooyoung & yeonjun -.-

 **leeknow** : hmm... can't say i remember that, but okay :)

 **innie** : put your phones away NOW!!! or i will personally detach your phones from your bodies, along with any limbs that happen in contact with your cellular devices !!!

 **hyunjinnie** : oh wow that's actually quite threatening

 **innie** : Phones. Away. Now.

 **hyunjinnie** : ok ok i'm going please don't kill me...!

 **innie** : Good :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaahh.. i didn't listen to chan in double knot well enough (ajhhsgjhd,,, i procrastinated) so the next chapter isn't done yet and i might not post it tomorrow cause i'm not gonna stress write it, but definitely before the end of this week and it's very likely that it'll be earlier than that :))
> 
> also i have a new text fic that i'm gonna start posting the moment i finish this one heheheh


	45. eight bitches, witches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had a concert today and it went really well so i'm celebrating by posting the last chapter to this story! ah it hasn't even been two months since i started it but it feels like it's been going for much longer…
> 
> i'll start posting a new text fic as soon as this chapter is up, if anyone is interested. it has a lot less plot though (more like no plot), and a lot more crack. i mentioned it a while back, it's the one where skz are vampires/werewolves :))

jisung can't stop smiling.

graduation is over, he's about to leave the building to go out with his coven to eat, and he just can't stop smiling.

felix and seungmin are walking on either side of him, the former holding onto jisung's hand as he talks excitedly about everything he comes to think of. seungmin is quiet, but there's a small smile on his face, too.

in front of them are chan, changbin and minho. jisung can hear chan trying to convince minho not to jump into the fountain, but it doesn't sound like he's having much luck with it. the former dance major has already made the decision that he's going to do it, so there's really not much chan can say to stop him.

then jeongin appears on seungmin's other side and starts up a conversation, leaving space next to jisung for hyunjin to come up to him and grab his free hand. when he does, jisung looks over at hyunjin. the dancer smiles.

"hey, how about we jump into the fountain after minho hyung and kiss him?" hyunjin says.

jisung grins.

"sounds great."

they follow their hyungs out of the building and toward the gate to leave campus. in the middle of the road they can now see the infamous fountain, and jisung practically feels chan's fear in his soul as the older boy turns his eyes to minho, clearly asking him not to do what he's about to do. minho ignores his gaze, and jisung tries to keep from laughing.

"this will be interesting", they hear seungmin mumble from somewhere next to them.

the closer they get to the fountain, the more minho quickens his pace in an obvious attempt to get out of reach of chan, the only person who's even somewhat attempting to stop him. then, felix starts chanting "minho hyung, minho hyung, minho hyung", leading to changbin and seungmin clapping their hands, as everyone except chan seems to join in on the chanting.

their leader sighs, but stops and watches as minho zooms off toward the fountain. there are many other people around them that are also on the way from the graduation, and they all turn at the commotion. some even join in on the chanting without really knowing what's gonna happen.

it becomes clear a second later as minho jumps over the edge of the fountain and lands in the water with a splash. someone cheers (it sounds suspiciously much like felix), while chan lets out a loud and exaggerated sigh.

"hilarious", he comments before turning to look at the rest of his coven members. "anyone else wanna join?"

jisung and hyunjin exchange a glance, and it doesn't go unnoticed by chan, who immediately widens his eyes.

"wait, i was just joking…"

jisung tightens his grip on hyunjin's hand and pulls him along as they both start running toward the fountain. once they're close enough, they both jump, and jisung lets out a shriek as his feet hit the water. it's much colder than he had anticipated.

his pants get soaked in a second and cling to his skin in a way that will probably feel uncomfortable once he gets out of the water, but at least it's okay for now.

when he turns, he sees minho grinning at them both.

"fancy seeing you here", he says just as hyunjin lets out a yelp.

"ohmygosh it's so wet!"

minho and jisung give him similar unimpressed looks.

"what were you expecting?" jisung deadpans, and hyunjin just laughs.

"it's cold! come on jisungie, hurry up and do what we came here for!" he says loudly. that has minho furrowing his brows.

"what did you come here to do?" he asks. they don't give him an answer, instead choosing to take a step closer. he looks at them suspiciously, and then jisung closes the distance between them.

-

"you're lucky some of us were smart enough to bring some blankets", seungmin comments as he hands jisung the last of the fuzzy blankets they'd brought for this exact reason. jisung simply smiles as thanks and pulls it tighter around himself.

"physically, i may not be very old, but emotionally, i've been alive for eighty years", chan sighs. "you're all annoying and it's making me age a lot faster..."

"eight witches, bitches?" jeongin says, and before anyone can scold him for cussing, he continues. "more like eight bitches, witches."

jisung grins and gives jeongin a high-five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup that's how it ends lol


End file.
